So. I promised to tell the dream, and I do always keep my promise if you can get one from me. It may be fey pay attention to the exact wording I used keeping my promises and it may take longer than expected because I might hit some adhd time blindness object impermanence on the way -- but in time I DO keep my promises if you can get one out of me. And so I will tell about the dream.

The other night when I went to bed, I had a spirit dream with the polar bear in it. It wasn't anything particularly world changing insightful, ain't gonna fix global warming or bring peace to the fucked up everything that is my place of birth (aka the holiest and bloodiest fought over place on the planet.) This isn't a dream for the world, it's a shamanic vision dream just for me. And the polar bear, I guess it's a dream for him too. Because he was the heart of it. But then, this reward life isn't for the world, it's one of the few times you'll catch me being selfish and I knew exactly what I was doing when I made my ask. And remember, the Universe told me directly it would be easier to let me back early form my exile from Greece and France than to give me a life on the three terms I asked for this life. (1) I always be surrounded by love of those who can see and love me qua me 2) Any soul seeking me can always find me 3) as long as those first two remain met I would like to grow old again because it's been so many centuries of me dying young...) So just remember that I created the groundwork opportunity to choose a path to each other no matter how long we take at it over being allowed to live back in Greece or France early.  

Anyway. I'm overtired so I'm extra rabbithole wandering adhd honest tonight. I should head home soon and go to bed early and start putting away the book stacks another day.  I've been awake over like 40 hours now....And so as you can see, this is a very tired me listening to a podcast trying to get some things done, very overtired: 

 

So yeah, my eyes keep wanting to close on their own and I'm a bit stream of conscious rambly and that's not the best for telling a story like this -- but I'm going to go make some coffee to help me focus find the words I want and hope it doesn't put me to sleep (adhd with red head gene, caffeine calms me down to focus but if I'm overtired or have too much caffeine, I'll fall asleep while drinking my coffee.) But I don't want that.  I want to story tell the dream properly. So pause for me to have some coffee to help me focus be less scattered. (I know it all is one long words words words (I'm so sick of words) to anyone reading it, but the tone will change if I break and make me focus and try again. 

~*~*~*~

So. Focus storytelling time now Dani. About the polar bear dream. In shamanic vision dream space. Probably one of if not THE most beautiful dreams I can remember having. The dream symbolism is pretty obvious. But it was sweet and cozy and what I needed.

It started I had been wandering the dreamlands and was taking a pause sitting on a cliff with woods behind me and wood below me, watching the shooting stars. (fun fact about me: whenever I get a new calendar/planner, the very first thing I put in it is allll the meteor showers for the entire year.)  I'm not certain what meteor shower it was, the stars are different in dream space. I know in the waking, the soonest meteor shower is the Lyrids and they're just about to start (they peak next week, right around the full moon) but I'm not sure what meteor shower I was watching in the dream.

The meteor shower was gorgeous watching from the cliff and I found myself wishing on a shooting star that the bear was with me to watch them because I missed him and didn't know where in dream space he was. Right after that wish, I noticed that there were what looked like stars shooting up from a spot on the ground toward the center of the meteor storm, like reverse shooting stars. And I remember thinking, "Well that's not the normal way shooting stars work, not even in dream space. I wonder what it is..." And the longer I sat there watching it, the more it seemed like I could hear a song on the wind coming from the stars shooting up from the ground toward the stars and the more I got the itch under my skin that I had to go find out what it was.

So finally I gave up on sitting where I was up on the cliff and decided to go find out what was the source of the reverse shooting stars. Only it was a ways away and even if I climbed down the cliff I would have to go through the woods and would lose sight of the reverse shooting stars and it would take long enough they might stop by the time I left the woods. So I decided the best solution was for me to fly but there can be nasty things that attack from above in dream space and so i was trying to decide if that was the best idea when I heard a thought laugh from somewhere above me and I heard my childhood imaginary friend the golden dragon tell me, "Fly, what did I teach you to fly in dream space if you never use it? I'll watch your back while I dance with the stars up here. Go follow the songs, they're for you after all." When I looked closer I could just see a glint of gold flitting among the stars along with some other metallic dragon sparks. And nobody in their right mind messes with a dragon when they're in flight among the stars, not even one dragon but certainly not that many. 

So I stepped off the cliff to fly over the forest to where the reverse shooting stars were and as I got closer  I was able to catch the sparks and they were all songs. Or rather all the sparks were songs that fit together like a puzzle pieces of the same song. So I started collecting them as I flew and I had an armload of song sparks as I got closer to the source. And when I got there, I saw it was a meadow of wildflowers and in the center of it was the polar bear, singing up to the stars and the songs were the sparks flying like reverse shooting stars up to meet the actual shooting stars where the dragons were dancing. And then I got to him just as fast as I could once I saw it was him and he caught me up in the biggest hug and I'll admit I just dropped all of the star song fragments I had collected so I could hug him back. And finally I said, "I didn't know you could do that." He laughed said, "I didn't know either. But it was taking so long to get back to you again. And I know that if the skies are clear you always watch the stars and if you can hear them, my songs are always the best way to reach you. I just wanted to reach you so I could hold you." 

So then we lay there in the meadow of the flowers watching the shooting stars and the dragons dancing with them above us and I asked him if he could sing me the song whole, not in fragments, and he warned me it was a long song but it was his favorite story to sing into being. And I insisted I wanted to hear it, or at least as much of it as he wanted to share, so he started singing it again, and it was the song about us and our love, while we lay there cuddled up watching the stars and dragons in the meadow of wildflowers. 

And it was the most beautiful song, but as he said it's a very long song. So he didn't finish it before it was time for him to return to the waking world -- but he told me to stay there listening to his song stars I had collected that were all pieces of his great long song because knowing I was listening to those sparks of his song light made him as happy as he could possibly be while not with me able to hold me. And he promised he'd sing the long song to me whenever possible, as well as every time I met him there in that flower filled meadow in shared dream space. 

Anyway. it was a beautiful dream and the most beautiful song. Probably the most beautiful dream I've ever had. And I'm going to hold him to that promise to keep singing the song for me to hear it all. (but not tonight. I'm at work still tonight and I'm not tired yet and I have a lot of cleaning and moving books/bookshelves to get done before heading for dinner and the Alice in Wonderland ballet at Overture Hall with my mum if I'm going to have things ready for the great fridge exchange that's supposed to happen on Weds but they haven't yet contacted me to schedule a delivery/installation time... And if it's not Weds, it will have to be Fri for the fridge delivery because if they try to bring it Thurs, I won't be able to delay my grandma's appointment.) 

I'm not sure I did justice to the beauty of the dream in my storytelling. But I opted for barebones to stop all my overtired wandering, lol.