All yesterday and this morning, my subconscious has been needling me with whispering a random earworm thread of the line "Don't you know I dream about you?" Not the rest of the song and not the instrumental parts, just that one line in his voice. And every time my conscious brain would respond to that one line of song in reply, "What? Wait no. Do you? All these years, I always assumed you didn't remember our shared dreams or what happens between our souls in shamanic vision dream space." 

Because. I call it shared dream space because it FEELS shared and as much as I lucid dream when not in vision dream space, he's like gods and angels and fée in that he's always his own separate entity individuated self that I can't lucid dream affect him like I can most aspects of most dreams I have. But I guess I thought it more like quantum entanglement of him into my dreams but never expected he might remember them. I don't know that I have ever fully believed that he might actually dream about me. And as for the song, like most of his lyrics, I tend to assume "not about me" because our lives have always been separate enough I assumed the Occam's Razor logic that his songs are about other women, ones he has actually been in lust/love with in his actual day to day lived experiences life.

I feel like this is a question I should have considered before this. Just as I should have examined my assumptions that my gifts and remembering didn't mean he had similar gifts or remembered me/us. But then. As I've said before, any string between two points pulls on both equally -- everything in the bond tugs as hard on his soul as it tugs on mine. So if I remember at least some of our shared dreams and our souls wandering together in shamanic vision dream space, why wouldn't he remember at least some of them from his perspective? Assuming he doesn't makes as much sense as assuming he doesn't feel the pull of the bond or assuming he doesn't remember our past lives.... I think... I should assume less that he falls into general population laws of probability and assume more that we reflect each other and so the probability is highest with him that whatever I can do and experience relative to the bond he also can do and experiences....  I think if I'm going to assume anything unexamined regarding him rather than knowing and learning, that's a better place to begin.

But then, that begs the question: IF he dreams about me, what does he dream about regarding me? I hope they're more often good than anything else..... 

I'm going to go back to waiting for my hair to dry enough I can go get dressed and while I wait sipping hojicha green tea while watching the sunrise and reading in the last 150pgs of Memoirs of a Geisha. I had put it on pause because I didn't like what I felt was coming next in that chapter that was setting up for a debasement sexual abuse rapey scene (and I didn't like it when I finally went back and made me read it but it was less than I had feared it might develop into) but I'm at the point of ready to be done having it as my purse book and I'm between books for my at home reading. Although, as I keep sipping this tea, I'm suddenly getting a bit sleepy so I should go find some sugar maybe make some coffee or something... Considering my hair is still sopping wet after showering and at 8 or 8:30ish I'm supposed to take Waffles to my parents house to spend the day with my da and Sophie (my parents dog) and to pick up my mum to go get Crissy then head to Milwaukee, this is really bad timing for a sneaky sleepy waves attack. *yawns* I'll figure something out.  Bare minimum would be getting dressed and setting alarms for a cat nap and hope my hair is more or less manageable when I get up from napping.

But. Back to the start. I never considered and now I wonder: does he dream about me? Does he remember the conversations we've had in shared dream space? I always assumed he didn't because I didn't see any reasons he would. But maybe I shouldn't have been assuming that....maybe I should have assumed that if I remember my dreams with him, then he would most likely remember his dreams with me....

Happy sunrise! I'm gonna set the book aside at the next chapter break so I can go plug my phone in then stand in the kitchen still wrapped in towels and eat a handful or two of chocolate chips while staring at the counter as I consider the merits of making oatmeal with peanut butter and/or chocolate chips and/or maple syrup/honey and if I think making a pot of coffee is a good idea or a bad idea for me right now.... Sugar is more effective than caffeine with me to combat the sleepy waves. Sometimes caffeine actually makes me sleepy when I wasn't before -- I can fall asleep after drinking three-fourths a pot of coffee and it's all I can do to set down the cup in my own damn hand so I don't spill it all over me while I'm sleeping. ADHD and red head gene and migraines and Ehlers-Danlos hypermobility reduced cartilage building makes a wild combination as to how chemicals/drugs react with my metabolic processes.... Everything in the -caine family burns along my nerves instead of numbs but lidocaine burns the worst followed by Novocaine, wine (especially red wine) makes me agape love everyone want to hug all of the Universe while hard liquor neat is a massive sugar rush turns me into a manic hummingbird like giving a toddler a 3ft pixi stix telling them they can eat the whole thing if they want, and caffeine can put me to sleep though not as quickly and effectively as plain ole chamomile which knocks me out like someone took the batteries out and even the smell can make me woozy so I dont let anyone drink chamomile tea in the car when I'm driving, lol. So I'm not sure if I should make coffee right now. Social conditioning says I should, but knowing myself tells me it would make things worse and sleepier for me. Better to start with the handful(s) of chocolate chips and then go get dressed and see where things are at with my sleepiness.

P. S. As hoped, the chocolate chips by the handfuls sugar rush did the trick to wake me up. Crissy is picking up Starbucks for us this morning, but a five shot caramel macchiato has enough sugars to wake me up and the caffeine to make me more focused less scattered without making me sleepy the way black coffee and tea can. 

P. P. S. My boobs are ALWAYS ridiculous because 28H is a fucking ridiculous bra size. However today, in this dress, they are extra Jessica Rabbit.... Hot damn.... I may have to take some vanity pics today because between the Venusian boobs and the Botticelli curls, I look quite a lot of "dayumn gurl" today. (The funny part is that before I put the dress on, I was feeling very body dysmorphia "eww you've a tummy and are flabby squishy right now, you need to get back to exercising more Dani" about myself but with the dress draped over me, all I can see is the ridiculous curls and curves on this body I'm in this life. Even in this untamed semi feral fey state of not trying to be anything but myself it gives even last life a run for the money and given my last life was iconic Hollywood bombshell blonde hourglass sex symbol life, that's saying something. Definitely will be needing a cardigan today to be museum appropriate -- and not just because I get chilled easily and didn't bother to tie it to hide my bra straps in the back.  Maybe a scarf as well.... Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.