There was a post that I started in on earlier yesterday, when the energies were very heavy and difficult and both my cat and my crows insisted I was not to leave home or even open a window or anything until they gave me the go ahead.  They've been like that, even about me taking the dog out that I can't/shouldn't wander far, since Mon rvening. But then in the afternoon I was doing some yoga meditation did some energy shifting and also I talked to a new/old goddess. Or more rather, I had an invocation/supplication for her specifically on something I've been untangling for a very long time and have only found the unraveled end to give her.  I don't have much to say about any of that right now except.... It's a curious fact that until last night I'd never heard of the Hindu festival Durga Puja let alone its central day Durga Ashtami (also known as the worshiping of the weapons with which Durga defeats the water buffalo demon) which is considered one of the most auspicious days of the Hindu calendar -- but THIS particular year on their lunar holiday that wanders as Hebraic holidays wander HAPPENS to fall precisely on my birthday this year in the hemisphere in which I live. Which I only learned after my talk with Durga when I realized I knew little about her needed to look her up. I'm not going to get into why I felt the need to connect and ask/invite Durga into the creation to pursue something specific that is too big and too intertwined for me to handle while in a living body in the incarnation -- or why I sicced Archangel Michael onto a portion of this problem on Sunday.... 

But. There is something heavy I would like to say, especially in light of what I contacted Archangel Michael for and what I asked him if he would pursue in his rule abiding way....and how swiftly after that request there was a shift in energy and I didn't see or speak to anyone in person except in passing while taking my dog out for days and literally stayed at home from the time I got home Sunday night until Weds at 4:44.  If you have been following the Highland Park shooting..... NPR published an article that there was no known ideology of the shooter DESPITE the fact that he took part in anti-Semitic groups AND tried to get into a synagogue a month or so ago but security escorted him out and his spree was in a parade at one of the places with the highest per capita concentration of Jews.... But the more inexplicable thing is. After the spree, he drove all the way up to Madison WI, drove right down and around the areas where I live (where I would normally have been walking my dog at that time) and considered a second shooting with the gun he had in the car beside him at an event he drove past but decided against it because he didn't have ample research, and then dumped his cell phone in Middleton somewhere that is very near to where I live and indeed very near to where I was walking my dog on our very long walk on the morning of the 4th.... And then he drove back down to the Illinois area where he was taken into custody. Everything about it was incredibly weird.... And do you want to know the ONLY reason I wasn't out walking my dog right during the time it turns out he was driving around and through searching where I was? My dog and I had been reading at home when suddenly at 7:30pm, just when the storms broke and I suggested we go outside while we could, a text came in from 3.5 hours earlier that someone had found my dog's contact info tag (the only one of 3 tags that had fallen off) in a forest area we walk through often and she had left it on the picnic table at the park there and she told me which park. I thanked her saying I hadn't even known she had lost it somehow and then because I didn't want wind or rain to lose it again, I DROVE us to the park instead of walking over toward it. And when I got there, there were a lot of cars parked there to watch the fireworks if they happened, but the tag wasn't at the picnic table. And literally as I'm searching all around it looking for the contact tag, a Middleton number I didn't know called and even though I rarely answer unknown numbers (too many spam bots and politicians wanting just $5.) So I answer it and there's this very worried woman all flustered saying, "O! I found your dog tag at the park but I don't where the dog is!" and I laughed and said, 'O it's alright. She's right here with me. I didn't even realize until today that she'd lost the tag until somebody texted me." And then the woman who lived around the corner but a 4mins walk away to an area nearby but where we'd never before been, gave me her address and promised to clip it to her mailbox for us. So we walked over there and then walked back to the car and Audrey had done everything she needed and was sore/tired from her 3hr morning walk (overdid it for a 14 year old) and so we just drove home. 

Whole thing was very strange. Very very very strange.... Especially after I heard the news on Tues and then today about how the anti-Semitic shooter somehow decided to drive up all the way to Madison area seeking for a second shooting event to do and came right to the very area where my energy is incredibly bright because we walk it all the time and I'd normally have been on a wander wit my dog right when he was in the area according to his geolocation data if not for my dog's contact id tag having gone missing sending us on a random little misadventure......

It's a concern. And there are reasons I'm a target. and why I have the wyrd allies and guardians I have. I have a tendency to know the old rules and laws others have forgotten or never learned and find the loophole to bend the rule to find the unexpected way through. But... it might be smart for me to do some wandering where I'm not usually and lay a brightly illuminated trail of places I cleanse and heal and souls I move on as decoy for me being where my energy always is..... 

Also though. If you don't know the Hindu Goddess Durga, look her up. She's a fucking badass.....

And then remember that what I'm working on, I calle din Archangel Michael as an ally (and this life I rarely work with him because in the past my requests to him have required I be the hands to achieve the miracles and my lives have been martyred for it -- mostly this life Gabriel and Raphael are the ones I deal with and who are always watching over me of the Archangels. Gabriel answers all my questions and I have called on for healing me, and Raphael helps me whenever I get lost in time and sets me right again and also helps me with healing others.)  And what I'm in the middle of, I called in Archangel Michael as an ally on Sunday and then on Weds afternoon called in the Goddess Durga to do what needs to be done but is outside Michael's very rigid rules..... 

I don't like dragging people into the middle of my battles and the risks I choose to run. It's that as much as my firm faith in the sanctity of free will that makes me so insistent that in THIS life, people have to choose me themselves. I won't chase you, I won't run after you, I won't even ask you to be in my life given the risks and the battles that having me around will bring to you. You have to consciously and free will CHOOSE me if you ever hope to have me in your life. It NEEDS to be YOUR free will choice if you want me in your life or I simply won't be except as needed to catalyze your opportunities for healing/growth.  If you want to hold onto me and keep me, you need to consciously and intentionally CHOOSE me and reaffirm that choice at each crossroad where you could choose differently.... Otherwise I'll be a glimmer of opportunity and then gone again to do my transmuting energy light worker self-appointed tasks in my wandering way wherever it takes me.  It's always been your choice if you want to hold onto me in your life -- you just have to choose it and understand that my ethics won't be compromised if you do want me to stay. Asking of me to compromise my ethics, especially as regards truth speaking, justice, and free will is a one way ticket to me wishing you HAGL and parting ways. But it's important to know, there are reasons that I only stay where people choose me and will respect my ethical code that I must live by to be worthy of the gifts I carry and to be able to live comfortably in my own skin. And that includes what I selfishly desire most for myself. That includes having Eric in my life -- he has to consciously choose me in a way that respects my ethics and who I am as me qua me. Otherwise, I'll disappear from his options once I can no longer serve as catalyst opportunity for the healing/growth/lessons his past good choices called in and brought my wandering across his path.  Even him, he must choose me if he hopes to keep me. I won't drag anyone into the dangers that my chosen paths bring in unless the person chooses to keep me in their life. Consciously chooses to want to keep me.

Aya! Sunrise is past now. Time to stop watching the British news and head home now, non?

P. S. On the drive home, hopping stations, I got to hear two Billy Joel songs in their entirety, You May Be Right and then For the Longest Time. And I saw so many crows, rabbits, squirrels, and wild turkeys.... All darting in front of me making me brake for them and thus having the perfect timing for both songs!! 

Now, as soon as the animals are done eating, I'm heading to bed for a bit. Planning to come into work (my dog hopes for scrounge o'clock lunch plans) and to get some work in the garden all afternoon/evening until the storms come in around sundown. 😘 Bonne nuit. Et bien, non. Bon matin? Mais non. Beaux rêves. 😘 

P. P. S. I wasn't joking about Spock guarding the door yesterday not letting me leave until the energy was cleared and better after I got back inside from taking Audrey out early morning yesterday.... 

And don't get me started on the behavior of my crow friends who have adopted me as family. They were equally, and more volubly, opinionated yesterday lol. They were their normal chatty happy selves on the drive back today.

P. P. P. S. And just because, this was actively my mood and the level of my elvish was and inner light last night. 

See? I'm doing just typical me. Mostly peace, love and light and a little go F🌸☮️✌️ yourself. And having the damnedest time trying to control my curls even in a braid and make sure my shirt can be read across the ridiculous curves of my 28H bra size.  

P. P. P. S. 

I read this article in the afternoon as well. On twin flame monogamy. I found it rather enlightening tbh. I haven't dated in an incredibly long time this life because I hated ending up in situations of me breaking hearts of guys who were great and only thing they did wrong was not be Eric where my heart has always been set on like a North Star. I left the tab open in my phone browser to reread later. Because the part about twin flame telepathy, the need to shut down shut out rather than be a voyeur of his strong emotional moments with someone else, that hit home hard 

Also, this particular image and meme came across my fb timeline again.

And it felt important but not to me but important ai save and share but not on my fb. So I guess you get it here. 

Ain't on my mind, I figured out in my 20s I didn't like mixing energies and hurting people who didn't do anything wrong except they weren't my North Star I was seeking. But that's me. Could be applicable for not me. Hell if I know who. But when intuition nagging at me won't let me sleep, I just do what it asks if it's easy enough and don't bother with understanding the why's of it.