Apparently it's a not even 1hr of sleep sort of day.... Weirdly, I'm not actually sleepy at all....

Mikaela texted me at 9:03am that she was at work (which opens at 9am) and feeling a bit migraine-y (though I thought it sounded like tension headache and anxiety making her nauseous -- but both make you feel unwell and her symptoms overlap) because apparently, in her words, everyone came in raging looking for a fight and stressed out so she asked if she can come over here if she drives herself over. She was not straightforward asking, she should have just started with saying she needed an escape. But after she did, of course I said yes I'd throw some clothes on (not that she's never seen me in PJs while she drove over.)  She's like my bonus little sister cousin unrelated to me. Now that she can drive, I've offered her a set of keys if she wants it so she can just come over and chill at my place with it's serenity and books and artwork and rocks/crystals and happy animals and more tea than a lot of tea shops carry, lol.  We just have to go to a hardware store get copies made for her. Her mom has a set and I have a set in my desk at work, but I want her to have a set that's HERS specifically. Keys have a magic to them, especially if they're old or to places/things that you treasure. And so I want her to have a set of keys that are hers. Technically, I have a set of keys that match my own set but have never been used, but I didn't make those for her, I made them as the pair to match mine. And they have the same design that for an extra $1 the company that cut the keys would plant a tree for every key. I could give her that set to use, but it's the matched pair with mine, it's not been for anyone else yet. And her set should be hers, with her in the intention of cutting them and if she wants to pick vanity art keys I'll spring for it.... But it matters to me they be cut and made intentionally as her set, with that energy to them right at the start. Intentions matter. 

I suppose having a 17 year old with her own set of keys and a "come whenever you need or want to recharge or rest -- this will always be a welcoming safe space for you when you need it" policy could get interesting if I have a boyfriend at some point.  But that's a bridge to cross at some future date not a current concern. For reasons of my stubborn heart and me not liking to hurt people by them investing in relationships where I can see the end before the beginning. Heart/soul fixed as a North Star and precog problems.... it's why I stopped dating until I can have something where I don't see the end before it begins. So me having a boyfriend needing to establish privacy boundaries or clothing in common area rules is not currently an issue. But it is a current issue her having access to my home as a safe retreat for her. And it really does matter given she gets migraines and anxiety and her dad has some very unstable mental health issues which on his bad days then affects her mental health. Coming over here has always been a place of calm for her and thus even if she doesn't have her own car, I still want her to feel she can always come here to feel safe and at peace. At any hour they might need it. No questions asked. Talk whenever you're ready to. No matter what. Teenagers, particularly female teenagers and especially ones with mental health or family issues need that. And for her, that's me and my condo. I mean, I intentionally keep my home cozy and tranquil and welcoming -- and very highly energetically protected. It's palpable to anyone who crosses my threshold.  So it's a very peaceful serene space to enter. But for her in particular it's been safe since she was 4 years old when she started spending her summers here and I tutored her and (over) prepped her for kindergarten. But for her it's also some of her most positive brightest memories from growing up as well. And she's 17, my dog is 14, and my cat is 12 -- she's very bonded to and loves my fur babies as extensions of her own family of fur babies. sometimes she just misses them as much as she misses the energy of being in my home.

She's currently at a 1:45 ortho appointment and then maybe running an errand then our late lunch plan is Noodles. Currently in holding pattern waiting for her to get back. I should be tired but weirdly I'm not. We'll see how this goes though. Eventually I should hit a wall of "yeah no. I'm just done now until I sleep" physical fatigue. Right? 

Then again, I can also sleep while Mikaela is here. Probably won't, but I could.  

She counts as a person who chooses to have me and her life. Same with my sister and her family. Yesterday my brother-in-law asked me if I was willing to be their primary in their will in case of emergency to raise the kids if anything happens to them. Which, I'm not sure how the atheists picked me as the most reasonable. 

So far this morning we've just hanging out reading and listening to Rameau (piano music; written for the harpsichord, but structurally his compositions suit piano better imo.) Well, I've been reading she's been on YouTube reels and online manga when we haven't been talking. Also I was drinking coffee, she's been having peppermint tea. And incense lit because we are incense people (it's my fault she loves incense, the smell of it reminds her of visiting me, so she lights it in her own room.) I'll likely switch to a tea of some sort for the afternoon given my French press is now empty except for the grounds to be cleaned out.... 

I'm definitely getting done today the deadheading and thinning out of the garden and planting the irises I recently save from the curb that I had planned to do yesterday... Yeah no.... I am once again failing at that self-assigned task.... 😂 

Ah well, this is a much better, u productive but cozier hygge day with my bonus sister/cousin unrelated to me. Sleepy pets and piano music and coffee/tea and books and incense and good company. 

P. S. Will add pictures later of how blissful my fur baby familiars are to have piano music playing. But my phone hasn't backed up yet to my one drive storage and it's stupid to waste data plan and my storage space to upload them separate right now.