*yawns* Why am I this awake already?! 

Bollocks.... At least it means I should be tired enough to fall asleep early early tonight. I'm going to go shower then. One less thing for me to be trying to fit in later today or even tomorrow. 

Also. For the record. It's not just Packers football and random British punk-folk songwriters that I'm loyal to across decades of time. It's anyone or anything I give any piece of my heart to. Scorpio Venus - I do everything with my whole heart invested or not at all. I don't ever give my trust or affection lightly or frivolously.  Once you have it, I am intensely loyal and the only way to lose it is by your own choices/actions - and 99.99% of the time that's going to be a matter of broken trust around you selling out an ethics issue that you should have known better and then refusing to acknowledge it. And while I'm always in the corner or death and rebirth, the only way you will ever have  a second chance with me if you break my heart by showing me you weren't worth the faith and loyalty I gave you is by choosing honesty and accountability for the past fuckups and putting in genuine effort to make things right show me you learned why what you did was wrong and you can be trusted not to make that same mistake again. 

I can tell you this or not tell you this a million times in a million ways, but until you accept this is my truth and my honesty about my nature this life, no amount of pity or previously won affection can get you any closer to rebirth and renewal of love and warmth from me. I don't tell you this as an ultimatum or to be cruel or to scare you - I tell it to people forthrightly so they have the best chances of success in dealing with me. All I can do is be honest about my fixation on demanding justice, truth, free will, and honesty as the only foundations to ever create and have anything truly meaningful in any life - what you do with that knowledge is up to you.

But given I'm a Scorpio Venus, if you know anything about astrology or believe in anything about it, you would know to never expect you can pretend the truth didn't happen bury the secret or charm your way back into my affection if you refuse to take a path of honesty and accountability with me. You won't. If anything, you make my distrust grow by trying to pretend nothing happened and especially the longer you take to be honest and accountable over the truths about what happened. Nothing stays buried, no secrets remain hidden with Scorpio placements... And in addition to being a Libra sun/Mercury, Pisces rising, Capricorn moon/Jupiter - I'm an 8th house Scorpio stellium as well as a 10th house midheaven Sagittarius stellium.  Truth seeking, deep loyalty, digging up hidden secrets, and standing by Justice no matter how that breaks my own heart are exactly what you should expect from me based on my birth chart. 

Yeah an 8th house Scorpio stellium that includes both Venues and Pluto..... I know. Buried secrets and anything you try to hide is guaranteed to be dragged into the light around me.... Also, my psychic intuitive witch gifts are less surprising when you know this about my chart, lol.

But if you think there's any path besides the path of honesty and accountability that might lead back to my trust or love after you break either of those, you are in for a world of hurt and distant coldness while watching other people get showered with the warmth of my love and loyalty. How can I extend you any further warmth or affection or love if I can't trust you? And how can I trust you if you lack the most basic ethics of honesty and accountability? 

Everyone fucks up and everyone deserves second chance forgiveness when they're honest in recognizing they fucked up. Just don't expect either from me until you're ready to be honest and accountable about your past fuckups so I have some form of foundations you're not going to just keep repeating your injustices and bad ethics. 

Once you have my love, I'm loyal unto death or your choices breaking my trust in you. And only you can repair that if you break it. And only by choosing honesty and accountability rather than trying to bury the truth about what happened in the past.... Until then, there's nothing I have to extend you except painfully comme il faut civility in front of others with no warmth as long as I feel you cannot be trusted. And I'll feel you cannot be trusted until you choose honesty and accountability about the truth of what happened and how we got to where we are.

If you don't break my trust in you and/or your ethics, you shall have my undying loyalty as long as there's breath in my body and opportunities for you to ever be any part of my life. But if you do break it, no amount of rationalizing to yourself or anyone else about a course that isn't transparent honesty and accountability and acknowledgement of what happened  will get you anywhere with me. I'm sorry but it won't....