So I realized something on the drive back from Oedipus Rex at APT (a very good performance and production, hit it perfectly that the tragedy is that everyone trying to do the right thing to defy FATE is what brought about the exact circumstance for the fated prophecy to become reality. It was a particularly well done production of it - my biggest critique is they picked the wrong shade of blue in the costumes as that synthetic dye is a hue that couldn't have existed in ancient Greece.)  Anyway, I was talking to Crissy about how I wished people did the Sophocles properly and put on all 3 of the Theban plays as a triad with a longer intermission between each as the arc of gods-driven tragedy, expiating the pollution at the hands of gods, and the hubris-driven tragedy of defying the edicts of the gods is important. And you don't get that if you only stage Oedipus Rex or Antigone without Oedipus at Colonnus in between. And she got a mini lecture on the Greek belief that moral contagion is a pollution that spreads to poison all you touch til you make a public atonement and expiate before the divine who can wash away the pollution when you are ready to atone for it. And then I said that Sophocles' Theban triad is my favorite of the tragedies and Oedipus Rex my favorite of the three because it's about having the moral courage to face the buried truths no matter how hard they are and to cleanse the poisons of the sins (even if they were committed in innocence) rather than burying them to fester. And I added, "I'm very much still a believer in the Pythian Oracles motto 'Know Thyself' even if you don't like what that honesty shows you." She laughed and said sarcastically, "You don't say? I never noticed. You've never pushed me against a wall asking questions until I finally faced in myself what I'd been hiding from." Me laughing, "Right. Yeah. I guess I really don't hide it well. But. Seriously. How can you ever grow healthy patterns without making yourself know thyself as you are? How can you start to see the truths in things without knowing your own blindspots and biases?" Crissy: "I don't disagree with your way of getting to healing even if it hurts. You just never pointed out to me where you picked it up."

And it made me realize, you can take the priestess out of Pythian and live so many lifetimes that Delphi itself is in ruins and nobody remembers the goddess incarnate cult who created the motto that the cult of Apollo took on when they absorbed the prophetess cultic worship, but you can never take the Pythian out of my soul. I still very much believe that buried truths causes moral contagion that poisons all it touches and the way out is in knowing thyself no matter how much you don't like who you have been or the immoral things you did in innocence of buried truths - and I still very much believe that all can be cleansed and forgiven by proper expiration of acknowledging the past pollution on your unclean hands and asking that the divine stop it's poisoning all you touch by your admission of what happened to cause the pollution on your hands. The Greek tragedies of atonement and cult expiration for sins that were fated are culturally and ethically as important as the idea that running from your fate is the very set of choices that create the fate. 

And. My expectations of Eric and Delta Rae are rooted in the ancient traditions of miasma poisoning all it touches and the importance of expiating the moral transgression that created the pollution in a proper bringing forward the truth to have it acknowledged and ritually forgiven once it's been acknowledged it happened. It's not that I don't want things healed made better and to try again, it's just that I know ignoring this source of miasma and unclean hands will continue to poison everything it touches and make even the best of intentions turn out unclean spreading contagion until you know yourselves for who you have been and make atonement for the acknowledged wrongs of the past.  

It's not due to a lack of love. It's due to a very ancient wisdom of old soul knowledge about the poisons of buried hard truths and the tragedies that arise from failing the Pythian creed to gnothi seauton.... (The other Delphic maxim was meden agan, nothing in excess.) I don't want to be guilty of my actions contributing to worse tragedies when I at least should know better as a precog, a prophetess, and a past life Pythian priestess.

Like I said, you can take the priestess out of Pythia and leave Delphi in ruins, but you can't take the ancient Pythian rules of incarnate goddess out of my soul.  Know thyself. And once you do, face the goddess with that knowledge of your past pollution to have it expiated and cleansed in your acknowledgment of the truth about who you have been.

I don't want Christian redemption or Freudian analysis or post modernist takes on how everything is broken. I want to cleanse the poisons before they spread further, as they always do when buried or hidden or refused to be faced. I want the ancient answers and the key of knowing thyself and asking for acknowledged sins to be expiated by proper ceremony before the goddess. How else does one cleanse away pollution rather than spreading it in everything you touch that is built upon buried truths that are morally hard to face?

I don't know if that's the best way to handle this situation.... But it's the only way I know to cleanse and provide antidote for the ever spreading pollution of unclean hands from immoral acts committed in innocence or under the guise of buried/hidden truths that must come into the light and be acknowledged to be healed. I don't have a better answer than my ancient Pythian teachings on truths and cleansing the soul stains of hidden truths by bringing them to the light and asking the divine to forgive them once you acknowledge and have paid atonement in your own suffering over the wrongs you did before you knew how wrong they were. 

P. S. These were in my memories on Facebook. In exactly this order. Forgive me for uploading as is without blurring last names. Battery at 4% and must be at my grandma's at 8:30am and I need to download a basic photo editor for my new phone to pixelate the names because Motorola didn't come with one...

But anyway. The day after the equinox, my past self shared Delta Rae lyrics and snow covered birches in Sweden and Aristotle quotes pertinent to respecting the Pythian roots from which my soul grows.

And as a bonus, here's some of my own philosophizing from the equinox 12 years ago - evidence of my own knowledge of myself from before we ever crossed paths this life. (And long long before any of the current mess was made to complicate things....

I'll pixelate last names and reupload tomorrow. After I sleep and then assist my grandma with her online doctor appointment.

May set this back to draft once I wake up until I can do that... Too tired to weigh in the balance pros and cons of my current options before sleep. Intuition told me to share the lyrics and snow on birches and Aristotle along with my realizations of where my expectations for how to cleanse the poisons that immoral acts and defensive lies to hide the truths have caused to contaminate things. And I don't have the energy right now to fight my intuition or to try to figure out which free photo app to download and try to do the ethically proper with my screen caps. I'll make better decisions after I sleeps....