I don't have much to write about here lately.  It's not personal, I just feel quiet inside right now. Quiet and that the right things are on the right course unfolding in their own time.  The quiet before the frogs start singing all night and the flowers come bursting forth in all the garden beds, not just the earliest bulbs. The quiet of things growing beneath the surfaces out of sight.

I don't really have anything on my mind.right now. Or on my emotions. There's just sort of this calm with the process and waiting on the unfolding.  That right now, there's nothing for me to do at this time but the waiting. But that the waiting will be worth whatever is born of it, whatever comes after it.

I dunno if that makes sense and I'm not quite certain the WHY of it, it's just my internal state right now. Like my future self sending waves of reassurance back to my current self.  Not a precog, not even a full presentiment. Just a quiet reassurance.  That when the next page turns, I'll understand and it's going to be amazing.  It doesn't really make much sense, but it's the best I can describe this inner quiet right now.

 But it means that unless you want to hear me talk about how beautiful the moon was tonight or how snuggly sweet my dog was today curling up on my feet to make sure I can't wander off while she sleeps without her knowing or about what I'm currently reading or my excitement to get new seeds/flowers in the dirt and watching all my old friends break soil coming back up to greet the sun again, I really don't have much right now.  Not in a bad way, just in a quiet waiting "alright then, let's see what you've got coming" sort of way.

Maybe that's stupid -- after all how does anything change without someone actively making a change? And how does me being quiet waiting bring about any sort of change? It's very lotus-y. It doesn't make sense and I know it doesn't. But still that's how my inner state is right now. Quiet and waiting and trusting in whatever is unfolding right now that I can't see beneath the surface out of my sight -- because it's something beautiful and wonderful that will make me happy once I see it. I just don't see it yet.

P.S. This is my tag on my Yogi Sweet tangerine Positive Energy tea right now, that I didn't choose form the box or open until after writing this:

P.P.S. Last sleep, Monday morning after sunrise when I went back to sleep after the sunrise instead of getting up to make breakfast, I had a dream snippet of furniture being moved in to my bedroom. A dresser. And clothes that weren't mine. And I was incredibly shiny happy about it. And it wasn't now, it was when the leaves in the tree outside my windows are in full summer leafing but not in flower or in autumn colors, so like midsummer or July-ish -- because I remember in the dream looking directly at/out the window saying that this meant I needed to finally hang blinds again after taking them down for the window/balcony door replacement a few years ago.  

No context other than the dresser and the clothes that weren't mine and that laughing glance at the window statement.  But given that I'm single and not actively dating or even browsing dating apps and without concerts I'm very much a hermit, I have no idea who would be moving into my bedroom in 3 months time.  My dream self felt it was completely right -- but my waking self doesn't understand it at all.....