Woke up this morning and saw before my shower that Eric once again has an Instagram story I can't watch (i.e. one from the official Delta Rae instagram account,  which has me blocked for having told them in October 2018 that the country music at shows caused me enough pain due toy color-timbre synesthesia that I could no longer attend shows while that was any part of it.  The country music,  the actual problem,  has been solved.  But Britt's defensiveness and decision to just block a fan rather than even respond in any fashion has made an even bigger problem, and one I will not lie about,  pretend didn't happen,  or shut up about as long as the ostracism continues.)

My reaction was an immediate visceral,  "Ewww. Back to the bullying actively ostracizing fans for him." And I shut down,  pushed him out so he can't reach me via the bond. And I intend to fight to push him away and do the same tonight (and every night) for as long as I am blocked on the band account and he shares ANYTHING from it. Because taking part in unjust ostracism while claiming to believe in justice and equal rights and treating people as a human makes you a fucking hypocrite and a liar.  You don't get a pass saying you believe in something than acting exactly the opposite by behaving in intentionally cruel and exclusionary ways.

And I refuse to let you in and give you any bit of my love while behaving as a bully that way.  Always have and always will.  Your words are meaningless lip service when your actions directly contradict them.  And Eric doing that gives me the strength of will to shut him out stop him from reaching me via the bond, no matter how much love and comfort and need he reaches from soul to soul to try to reach me....

Which should be easier tonight SD ince I'm seeing Dave (and his brother and band brothers) in Portland!!  😁