O,  you're wondering why the fuck I said this fight is for me to be on the right side but not leading it or directing the course of history. That ain't like me at all.  I can explain better how/why it got to this point - but the crux of it is that I came up with a solution about 7 years back that shifted balances of power because I didn't believe scrapping humanity as a failed form of soul evolution was fair to the young souls under three lives old.  To make it work,  I placed my faith in the yound souls and shifted the normal paradigms.  (anyone who calls Greta Thunberg an old soul doesn't get it.... People inappropriately use "old soul" to mean "one who cares about the whole of creation rather than the material ego driven society they are born into" as opposed to the actual duration of time the soul has been individuated and separated from the All-Spirit. And it's true most old souls ARE like that because they've gone full circle through the ego lusts on both sides of the dichotomies - but so are the young souls who haven't yet accrued any major karmic baggage of ego lust to untangle. That's how I skewed the balance to MAYBE find a way out of mankind created extinction of 95% of life on this planet.  By having faith in the free will choices of the very young under 3 lives old souls.  Greta is on her 3rd life (1st in Austria in WWII, second in the US across the flower child movement died of a drug overdose in the 70s) and thus is perfect for the fight.  I know,  I recruited her last life when she was starstruck meeting me for who I was last life,  before I explained to her how old my battles and let her choose if she wanted that grafted onto her souls path.)

I'll explain better tonight.  But there are REASONS, big cosmic balance of ma'at reasons,  for me to have to sit this out on the sidelines and trust in what I set in motion in the past and my faith in the innate goodness of souls three lives and younger separation from the well of creation.  Technically, I took all us old souls out to the sidelines til the time of testing ends.  And it almost is done.  Middle aged souls are facing ego tests and if they fail will be dealt out of incarnations after this life til the healing is far enough along they can't fuck up the work of the ancient souls,  young souls, and middle-aged souls who passed their ego tests as we heal and shift the paradigm.  But I have to stay out of it other than standing on my strong ethical lines,  since I'm the one who suggested this paradigm shift,  til after everything is brought into the light laid bare so the young souls could make their choice in full knowledge of what it is.

But,  that's also why I get to have this as a reward life and can have anything I want/ask for from the Universe.  Literally anything at all is mine for the asking in this life - which is why I hate asking and only desire what is freely offered to me and freely given.  The more I want something,  the more I insist I'll only have it if it's given to me by a choice of free will.

I'll explain better tonight....  I'm still full from breakfast (2 eggs over-easy over a cheesy veggie hash that had crispy purple potatoes on the bottom,  then some maple jack cheese,  then mushrooms,  carrots,  radishes,  peppers,  rainbow chard, caramelized onion,  garlic,  herbes de provence,  and some more maple jack cheese) so I wanna curl up with a book and digest,  but instead I'm gonna finish my coffee and change, take the dog on a walk,  charge my phone (at 13% battery atm) while I shower,  get ready to go,  spend the afternoon at work/in the garden til the munchkin gets dropped off after school (hard to believe she's already in high school,  seems just yesterday she was the six year old obsessed with Delta Rae in the car every day - now she's 14 and won't hardly listen to them since seeing how painful the country music was for me before their Madison show with Q106 Christmas concert for Toys for Tots and her getting so angry over the level of pain they caused me by being a part of anything to do with country radio artists.  She doesn't even know about the girls and them blocking me and the things they said (especially Liz) before blocking me dealing with country music them being defensive about it when told it caused me pain.  Mikaela doesn't know because if she did,  she'd never forgive them.  Ever.  She's quite protective of me and she holds a grudge like woah....)

But I'll explain the whole story after Mikaela and her mom go home tonight and it's just me and my pupper at work into the wee hours.  Promise! I'll splain what's going down and why and what I did and why I sidelined me to a non-central reward life during such a massive fight.  Because the best move I could make in the fight WAS me shifting the paradigm and rewriting the rules and putting myself on the sidelines.  Trust me,  it was.  Plus,  there's a lot to be thankful for in a reward life on the sidelines of the history books.  Especially if you choose to share in the magic of it with me this life!