I always seem to find exactly the right words for my most profound truths in the weirdest most "never going to find this again" verbosity.....  Never fails....  Long emails/letters, throw away lines in texts, things I hide in my billions of words blogged...  Needle in a haystack places.

And where did I fully articulate exactly I'm doing with this life of mine and all my gifts?!  In a comments thread in a facebook post of a meme I shared where I contributed next to nothing but my enthusiastic support of  the post itself as an encapsulation of my own wants.

😂

I mean,  I know I learned at a young age this life from a Sherlock Holmes story to always hide the most important things in plain sight where nobody would look.... But this is ridiculous even for me!

I'm gonna go back to my self-appointed afternoon tasks of cleaning,  drinking tea,  eating apples,  and listening to Billy Joel's entire catalogue now.

P. S.  My dog is the most beautiful wonderful Pisces pup anyone could ever dream of having.  She's the first animal that has ever been solely my own,  bonded primarily to me not my family, and I got her when she was 12 weeks old and sge's spent at least 75% of her every moment of her life with me.  She's almost 12.

I've been saying since she was a puppy that she's going to live to the age of 21 then die happily in her sleep surrounded by everyone she loves best...and I damn well hope I'm right. But I already know that whenever it happens it's going to gut me whenever it happens and my heart is going yo absolutely shatter into a million pieces when she moves on - and I just hope like hell it doesn't happen til I'm in a place in my life I've got a love strong enough to make a net that holds those pieces together til they start to readhere heal and helps me through so I don't lose myself in the hollows of this loss.... Cuz I genuinely don't think I can get me through it on my own.... Even with another dog to love.

P. P. S I also love and adore my asshole of a needy Taurus cat who steals my seat and eats my plants just to spite me by hurting what I love when he feels unloved by me.

I love him and I'll miss him and grieve over him.  But the loss of my Taurus cat won't shatter my heart the way losing my Pisces pup will.  It just won't...