Okay. So I paused at a good "rest but not really for long" point in the plot towards the end of the book because coffee after breakfast was making exhaustion hit me like a freight train this morning because didn't sleep last night while still up on post show dancing singing connection endorphins and then sunrise couldn't sleep and hungry so made early breakfast. And then I slept my six hours across the morning/early afternoon then was doing some other things then reheated coffee at like 3:15 and went back to book. And it's so fucking good and I need to go into work and do some plant stuff and see people before or near to close at 5 -- but I am right at the climax end of the novel. And for the last 15mins to half hour, my sister keeps texting me which is good and important and planning stuff -- but also leave me alone for just like half hour because I want to finish the book, damnit!! 

Also, I'm serious about the recommendation to read Dark Matter by Blake Crouch. Trust me. Just do it. Don't watch the show before you read the book. (Unless you already did.) Just read the book. And let the book form it's world and philosophical ethos for you and how you imagine the characters. Just read the book. Please. If you're any the right sort of person to get me, you'll understand why I actually really loved it and it's one of my favorite contemporary books I've read in a long while. And after you read it, me recommending it will also recommend some things about me and my nature to you. Just find a copy of the book and start it. Just trust me on this. You're in for a bit of a mind fuck of a journey, but in a good way. One that weirdly feels like coming home to the right place and time and knowing what/how to grow from here. 

And if you struggle with making choices and regrets and how one picks to collapse the wave form of infinite possibilities into the finite path you walk, read it and the last 25-50 pages will help you wrap your head around the fact that it is the choices and the path itself that defines the esse of you in a moment even in contrast to the versions of you that you could have been. 

And I promise you, it's a love story even though it's also a fast paced action/suspense, but about the love that is built together in the everyday not just the potential sparks of lightning flash honeymoon false fronts that fizzle out or you never followed up. It reminds me of the spiritual ideas that what you seek is seeking you and that what is meant for you, meant to be yours, will find you in the right time and right way and can never be taken from you. So you will always find your way back to what is meant for your greatest good if you just focus on being the truest version of yourself you can be in the moments you get to live. You still have to make choices, and every choice closes off the fatelines not chosen, but you also still get to choose what version of you will show up and what your core values are and how they will shape your path from the moment you find yourself in and the paths you will choose to walk.

Okay, sister stopped texting me. time to finish these  last pages to find out the very end ending (though I think I know it) then go to work. Fuck time is short though... But only 9pgs left.

But trust me. Do it. You can figure out how future you will thank future me after you get the book and read it. 😉 Only joking a little bit. Because it's the right book at exactly the right time and I can feel that certainty in my bones humming electrically. So trust me and just pick it up and give it a try and if I'm wrong about this then I'm wrong about a lot of things and I'd rather know a truth for certain than believe even a beautiful lie.  But I don't think I'm wrong. Not about this. Go get it. Read it. It's exactly right for what's needed in this moment of time. 

And I like the idea of reading/experiencing the characters growth/realizations and the idea of experiencing it nearish (curiously, autocorrect initially changed that to bearish) the same time with someone, somewhere out there (beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight. -- okay sorry, not the point but after I wrote "somewhere out there" I got the song from American Tale stuck in my own damn head because ADHD with internal jukebox lyric association brain. But weirdly it kinda works...)

Damnit Dani. Shut up, 9 pgs to go then you have things to do before you run out of daylight today for them. 

Go find the book and read it. Dark Matter. By Blake Crouch. And we can discuss choices and how we become the versions of ourselves we want to be and walk the fatelines we want further down the fateline, whenever chance or choice next crosses our paths. Somewhen after we have both digested this book. It's the right book at the right time. Weird synchronicities for me and all. Promise. Trust me on this.