So last night, I had an interesting dream for my last dream before waking up in the predawn for the sunrise. I don't know WHY I do this, I just know that ever since I can remember and from what my parents have said about me as a small child, I can never sleep during the gloamings even with black out curtains. I can go BACK to sleep after sunrise is done (or I can go to sleep for the first time if I stayed up so late that I'd be awkwardly rested by sunrise) but sleeping across sunrise/sunset is just not something this body does. 

Anyway. I dreamt last night about robins. I don't really quite remember all of it. But I remember it was April springtime feeling in a woods that had flower bulbs in it not just wildflowers and I was out wandering somewhere there were robins and daffodils all through the trees just greening. (American robins, that typical long bodied sleek brown redbreast, not British robins which are fluffy gray with orangey-red breast.) And there was one robin that took a shine to me and insisted I follow it, kept flying down to tweak at my hair if I got distracted. So I followed it out of curiosity and got completely lost on the paths around through the trees and then it was like the robin forgot me started digging for worms. But when I got closer, I saw it wasn't worms, there was a bit of shiny metal and when I helped the robin dig it out, it was a key with a necklace wound around it. So I cleaned the dirt off both, put the necklace on and put the key in my pocket and then the robin and I kept going down the path only now it was flitting branch to branch just ahead of me singing joyously. We reached a point in the path where there was a random doorway blocking the path (but you could see round the sides of it bypass it if you wanted) and it was locked. But when I reached into my pocket for the key, it fit the door and opened easily. And so I opened it and I remember it was just blindingly bright gold light pouring out from wherever it led and the necklace I'd put on lit up in response and the robin shot right on through singing for me to follow. And so I walked through that door and it closed behind me and that's when I woke up before I could see what sort of shiny bright place I had walked into. 

Very Secret Garden and Oz books themed dream between the robin and the key, but it felt quite magical and more than a little fey. And like wherever the door shortcut led, it opened into a place of light and joyousness. Also very much akin to that feeling I've been having lately of closing the old chapter and starting something brand new

Also. This afternoon while I had both the cat and dog curled up on me (they're still in the "I love you and you left for a few days so you're my hostage of love now" phases) and I had finished my book within arm's reach and couldn't get up without disturbing them to grab cards to see if there was anything I needed to know so I decided to ask some iching questions on my phone, an idle pasttime for potential insights that I do betimes. So one of the questions I asked it was, "What is the best course of action I ought to put my energy into regarding Eric at this time, for my sake as well as his." And this was the answer:

And it made me laugh because really it ought to be the obvious answer but also it was very clear, straightforward, and unambiguous. Iching really can't be more clear and unambiguous than that.

I mean, that's also my inner feeling about things right now and all I'm getting from him is how driven he is and excitement and complete certainty in him -- there's not currently anything inside of me questioning or doubting really anything related to him. I just found the straight forward iching funny. Because Iching is NEVER that straightforward. EVER. I mean, a lot of times in recent past since he started reaching me again via the bond in the fall, whenever I ask about him and what he feels/desires from me I get the ones about beauty, snow white beautiful haze of beauty afraid of breaking the vision or adorning his beard working on looking good, and when I've asked it about his intentions or desires toward me, I often get the noble presence "dissociating from harm" or the one about "attacking the ghost region" one about the time it takes untangling a difficult task. But this was the first time I asked about where/how I ought to be putting my energy in and was told "trust this connection, it's good and will bring better and better the longer you work together and trust it. There's no reason to overthink anything here." And it just struck me as funny that even the iching is wanting to bop me on the nose with bluntness at this point at even a hint of asking a question like that. I mean, Iching is NEVER that straightforward unequivocal. About anything. Steady and consistent messaging across the board, lol.

That was it. Been working a lot since I got back from St. Louis. Currently still at work into the wee hours tonight to get enough hours in for this last week to not have to use any of my PTSO days for my eclipse trip. And planning to come in over the weekend to take care of plants and to get hours in early toward next week. 

Cocoa (the German Shepherd belonging to Nathan, a diabetic coworker over in service, and Lindsay) was diagnosed with lymphoma last week right before I was leaving town, so when at work I've been spending a lot of time with her and me sitting on the floor cuddling and being sat on by the doggos (including Lindsay's seeing eye dog Amy) and Lindsay. Cocoa started chemo this week, she's barely 1 year old so they want to try and hope she will be one of the 1 in a million dogs who kicks it, stays in remission, and they still get 8-9 years with her. Seeing her and feeling her enregy and pouring healing into her these last couple days, I am less optimistic though obvious I would be delighted. (I was midldly afraid they might decide euthanasia was best and move forward with it before I got back from St. Louis.) It's very unexpectedly sudden and sad.... For everyone, but Nathan and Lindsay have had a really hard time in recent months, especially Nathan with his dad dying so unexpectedly and the family drama around that. And this is his dog bonded to him.

Also. After shopping, landed on a Whirlpool fridge from Costco (who include free delivery, installation, and haul away of the old fridge) as the best option given Amana said when called that any fridge over 10 years old should be replaced rather than fixed because something else is likely to go after that age. The new fridge should be delivered/installed next week Wednesday which means I have to figure out moving books and bookshelves by then. This weekend is a book sale at ICHC if I want to drive to Milwaukee on Saturday, brunch and symphony on Sunday. Then next week I will have dinner and girls night tickets to a ballet production of Alice in Wonderland by MOMIX with my maman, Wednesday is the fridge installation (don't yet know time but will take Waffles to work while that's happening so only the cat needs to be contained in my bedroom during it), Thursday my grandma has her rescheduled podiatry appointment (third time is a charm, I hope), and then Saturday the 20th is a girls day at Milwaukee Art Museum for the annual Art in Bloom exhibit (with my mum, Crissy, Sarah, and Mikaela.) Then the week after that nothing in the calendar except Friday the 26 tickets to see Madison Opera performance of Candide. The week after that, grandma's rescheduled gerontology on Monday, I have a dentist appointment on May 2, last symphony tickets on May 4 for the season, and Brian Mosley's memorial (he was chosen family unrelated to me and my da's closest friend; he passed away earlier this year.)  After that I actually have nothing at all in my calendar for almost all of May until the Frank Turner show in Chi on Mar 31 other than meteor showers and checking on Henry while Crissy is in Kansas City for DI Globals. I guess I do still need to schedule my eye appointment and order contacts for the next year because i have one more pair after the pair I've been wearing this last month or so. June is also quite empty for me -- Frank Turner show in Minne on June 1 and then nothing currently in the calendar until APT play on June 27. (unless I can find someone wants to go with me to see Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks playing Soldier Field in Chi on June 21.... I haven't bought tickets because if anybody wanted to go I wanted seats together and then the tickets  started at $160 per ticket for the nose bleeds, more than twice what it was when he has played Wrigley and Lambeau in the past, and I keep having one thing after the next with the car and then the fridge etc. so I don't feel like I ought to spend money THAT frivolously on myself right now, much as I adore Billy Joel and have never seen Stevie Nicks live. So I still have nobody to go with and no tickets purchased for the Billy Joel show in Chi.)