I don't really have much to say right now. Maybe I should, but I don't. There's a lot going on inside me, mostly fragments and pieces I can't quite see clearly before they disappear back into the tangles. It's like koi in a pond, flashes and glimpses of part and then disappearing again below the surface. 

And for some reason, just now there was a chord progression that made my brain spit out the fragment of lyric "Come back to me baby, give me one more sleepless night" which I was NOT expecting. Strangely, it wasn't the recording of the song I have heard from the album, it was like a whispered wish in the same room behind me like if I just turned my head I'd see him not just hear that desire. And it was definitely a subconscious thing mixed with hearing a piano chord progression similarity because all night I've been listening to different piano covers on the Youtube channel of Francesco Parrino (they're all so lovely and beautiful and I really do love his playing style can listen for hours and hours regardless what he's playing. I'm more than a little obsessed with how he plays piano, lol.)  And the thing is, it's late night at work, just me and my dog, and the piano cover arrangements of Francesco Parrino that I'm watching/listening to tonight while I get some inputting/filing done. And so there's nobody HERE to have whisper sang it like that. And yet, I swear I just heard that line clear as clear, as if sung the same room as me.

Makes no damn sense to me. But my life is wyrd and sometimes it be like that... And somehow, a piano chord progression in a cover arrangement shook loose inside my brain earwormed me with If I'd Known I Loved Her sung in a way I've never heard with my ears but true as true can be as if it were in this room.

Anyway. That was wyrd and unexpected and inexplicable and happened after i started this was no part of what made me start writing here. What I started this post to share was a picture of one of the things I did today to clear off part of my desk where I had a stack of things I needed to epoxy. (Mostly books that the glue cracked due to age and the binding needed to be glued back around the pages.) But one of my projects I did this afternoon was this: 

It's a project been on my desk since last summer/autumn, I found the plate in a random ass antique store across the street from a venue I was at. And I decided it was too perfect I had to have it for $2. I don't own many decorative plates, but I decided I needed to figure out the right magnetic poetry to superglue to the bear because my only other decorative plate is of Victor Hugo with his arms crossed over his chest looking incredibly annoyed at having his picture taken (I received it as a random house warming gift back in college) and while Chris was visiting from NYC spending some time alone at my flat to work on an idea in his head, I had gone into work and when I came back he'd taken off the fridge placed on the decorative plate siting on my dining room table because I didn't know what to do with it the words "screw you."  It made me laugh so hard that I immediately glued the words in place just exactly where he had placed them so that I could always look at it and laugh.  So when I found the polar bear plate, I knew I'd have to find just the right words for him, and back in like October or so I picked out these words. And just today I finally glued them on so I can bring him back home. 

Only, when I chose those three words, my intention was "happy spirit dream" and I didn't know if it belonged as one line centered or where. But today I laid them out as "happy dream spirit" just this way and it was exactly right like something clicked in place. I didn't even realize I'd changed the order of the words in my moment of certainty until just now looking at it wondering if it's dry enough for me to take home or if I should wait til tomorrow when I'll bring the books home.

And it's an interesting shift from a linguistics perspective one I hadn't realized I had made. "happy spirit dream" makes the noun the dream with the spirit the adjective, it's about the vision dreams you see. But "happy dream spirit" makes the SPIRIT the noun, it makes it about the soul who manifest in vision dreams this way....  And when my subconscious was certain knew exactly what it wanted today, it was to make the soul/spirit the focus and the active part of the phrase, not the dreams.

This plate is going somewhere in my bedroom (I don't yet know exactly where) not the living room/reading nook where Victor Hugo is.I knew the instant I found the plate that he belonged in my bedroom, before I had considered my magnetic poetry to choose the words for him. 

Anyway. Happy dream spirit, polar bear. Fwiw, the happy part had always been the non-negotiable to my mind. That was the first word I chose for it. Then I was trying to choose between some options including "happy dream" and "happy spirit" but landed on "happy spirit dream" which is now "happy dream spirit, lol. 

And yeah, I WAS staring at my polar bear plate ready to go back home now it's been captioned when I heard the whisper sung line from if I'd Known I Loved Her as if it was being played/sung in the same room right behind me.