Today, after taking Waffles on our morning walk and watering the balcony flowers, I was feeling really tired (we've had air quality alerts for ozone for the last 4-5 days because of this high pressure zone sitting over us not moving, also the reason for all the heat and lack of rain as well, at least we got a little light rain this evening because all the trees and grass and shrubs are screaming and the lakes/ponds are so low there's boat draft warnings and the entire state is on high alert for fires) so I decided that instead of making some food for lunch I would just rest a bit. So Waffles jumped up on the bed for some snuggle snoozles and then after a bit Spock jumped up as well curled up right near my head. By the time I felt better rested after my nap, the dog and cat were curled up with their back ends touching each other as well as both curled up along me. The dog stretched and moved away in her sleep in a big stretch -- the cat glanced at her, glanced at me, then winked at me and intentionally moved himself to curl back up with the sleeping dog as well as me. 

It was super cute. he's still hissing at her when he needs a bit more space than the enthusiastic puppy is giving him being right near him, but it hasn't even been two weeks and he's willing to curl up snuggle with her and me all together. So Spock is doing alright with the change now.

The introduction with my parents dog Sophie, however, did NOT go as well today as I would have hoped when I came in for the last hour or so the store is open to start in on watering all my plants that require daily watering right now. Not because Waffles did anything wrong. Just Sophie having territorial aggression/defensiveness issues with Waffles. Which is going to be Sophie's problem -- I told her quite distinctly that she needs to get over it because at this point, she shouldn't expect to ever see me again without Waffles there as well same as it always used to be with me and Audrey. Crissy came by for some beer adn to see my parents and hang out for bit and will be back on Friday when we open the second growler of this beer and have some chips and salsa and queso with it. (It's the Little Salmon Fire from Sacred Waters Brewery, it's a three pepper ale (poblano, serrano, and jalapeno)  and my first reaction to it when we opened up the first growler yesterday made me desire some chips and salsa and queso and Crissy agreed with me today so  that's now our plan for cracking open the second growler of it. So that's the plan for Friday evening -- spicy ale with chips and salsa and queso.)

It will be fine. I'll make it fine as will my dad. But for right now it's a bit tense with Sophie here and Waffles at the same time. Mostly because Sophie can't be trusted not to decide to come out to see people then to turn and snarl and act like she's going to bite Waffles before going back to her bed under my mom's desk and growling incessantly. Sophie does NOT get along with new animals, so this isn't surprising from her, just a bit disappointing. She will get used to it -- but maybe not by next Friday when I will be in Chicago for Nickel Creek.... Sarah already said that she was okay with having Waffles come stay with them that night for me to pickup on the way home if Sophie is being too much of a bitch about it. We'll figure it out with Sophie, she's just being an old lady bitch about change right now. And, Waffles IS a young energetic very loving happy dog (at least as my dog) who's not even three years old yet so she's a lot for Sophie and Sophie wasn't expecting her right when she got back and right now Sophie can't even greet me (after almost a month without seeing me) without Waffles being nearby because Waffles follows me around constantly as her anchor point of trust.

Also. the last couple days, he DID reach me strongly down the bond, just love and a joy in feeling the love returned down the bond... Not entirely sure how he managed that or what it means, because as I said, right now nobody and nothing with the lamprey's energy twined around through it can reach me. But there have been a couple times the last couple days that he did reach me. Which I haven't tried to make sense of, I just accepted because my boundary here is an ethics one not because I don't WANT him to reach me, just because it's ethically wrong for him to reach for me down the bond while he's dating someone else in his life.

But I'm not going to focus too much of my energy on trying to figure that out. There's nothing i can really do about changing it other than being clear about my own boundaries and why they are what they are -- and he has to make his own choices for himself about his life and what he wants in it, both his inner life and his external quotidian life. I love him unconditionally and want him to be happy in whatever life path he chooses for himself and to find the happiness he seeks, no matter how i do or don't fit into that for him. I genuinely do not know how not to love him unconditionally and always no matter what either of us does or how separate our lives are lived and I genuinely don't know how not to wish him the greatest possible joy and all the happiness he seeks for himself, in this and every life -- what I have been working on releasing across recent years is my old assumptions that I had to be a part of his life for him to have that, releasing the assumption that I am even anything that matters to him or that he desires to have in his life. That's something for him to choose and know, not for me to assume.  I have spent since October 2018 teaching myself how to release any sense of expectations about our paths being shared this life and I acknowledge that at this point it's outside of my control and it's about his choices to mend what his sister broke in his name (and the name of everyone else in the band) or for us both to accept we must seek elsewhere for our happiness this life no matter how the bond sometimes pulls or the wyrd synchronicities and mirroring our lives have for each other and always will. I mean, I still WANT our paths to be shared this life (and as many other lives as possible) and i can't think of anything I want more than that this life -- but I have reached a place of acceptance and release of expectations that it WILL be this life. A place of inner tranquility and non attachment that I can find joy and meaning in this reward life no matter what he chooses for his own happiness and life path. It's not a lack of desire for a shared life path to be what we both choose, just a releasing of attachment that his choices be linked to what I desire and instead seeking to maintain inside me a place of unconditional love for him and respect of his free will place of wishing that he have the happiness he chooses for himself however it is created, whatever role I do or don't play in it, and that however that looks it exist in a manner that isn't toxic or creating negative karma or violating ethical codes for either of us.

As for me and where I am putting my energy right now, my quotidian right now is about taking care of plants and dogs and cats and reading and piano music and catching up with my parents and friends who are chosen family and that's all my plans for the foreseeable future. And then next weekend I have tickets for nickel Creek in Chi on the 9th and Milwaukee on the 10th, and nothing else concrete have to in my calendar other than enjoying life and getting the animals all playing nicely together. 

Also, the number of polar bears in my fb feed today.... even more ridiculous! I'm probably not helping by reinforcing the algorithms every time I love or share them, but also they're amazing sots!

My long weekend was all integrating my fur babies together and taking Waffles on daily walks and reading and playing fetch with Waflles while watering everything at work because it hasn't rained since before i got back and we have more than a week ahead without rain in the forecast and Farmer's market and LOTS of flowers and listening to Billy Joel music and plant shopping and flower/herb/nightshade planting and hauling dirt the entire damn length of Home Depot multiple times because I needed more than I originally bought and I got there after the garden center registers were closed. O and polar bears -- my dang facebook feed has ALLLLLL been polar bears, especially polar bear cubs with their mamas. And while I follow a lot of accounts with polar bear pictures on both fb and insta, it's not usually THIS dominant in my algorithms to be all I see.....

That's really all I had to say. I don't feel like I have much to communicate right now. Sorry, I just don't. I have a tranquility inside me and acceptance of what is and a sense of.... waiting to see how something outside my control unfolds? It's a waiting stillness with the an undefinable hint of promise woven through that what I am waiting on will be worth the stillness of giving it time/space to unfold in its own way.  Which doesn't make much sense to me either, certainly not logical at all, it's just the best I can describe a sort of burgeoning hope filled contentment tranquility unfolding inside my heart/soul..... And that means that given it's a reaction to something in the future I haven't precogged or seen in a fateline, it's either a happy surprise or it's sports related -- because those are the only two things I have intentionally and specifically asked not to ever have precogs about. Happy surprises because I love the feeling of being surprised by good things I didn't see coming and sports because it takes all the fun out of watching if you already know the end score or major plays. Those are the two big blind spots of my precogs and I intentionally asked and put those blocks in place to increase joy in my life. Bad surprises I get precogs of the events to prepare me, but happy surprises always blind side me because I asked not to know the happy things until I get to experience their unfolding moments. This FEELS like a happy surprise on my horizon hidden from my precogs because that's what I asked but I can already feel the light of the joy and love ripples whatever it is created in my future. 

That's really all I have right now. Just my truth that I have spent these recent days full of Farmer's market local produce and flowers and long walks and Billy Joel songs and dog time and kitty time and cooking and reading and getting my hands in the dirt and caring for all my green babies (inside and outside) and drinking copious amounts of coffee and tea. And polar bear pictures flooding my social media feeds.  So I'm pretty happily hermitting right now. Tomorrow my grandma has an afternoon appointment for me to take her to so Waffles will be at MCW with all the coworkers during that. And then after I get back form the appointment, my parents are coming in to reintroduce them to Waffles in context and we will figure out how we intend to introduce Sophie and Waffles to each other, biggest concern is Sophie tbh not Waffles. But I don't know if that will happen tomorrow evening because I will need to water everything again after another mid 80s sun baking day with no rain.... Mais on verra. We will figure it out.

Now. All the planting/watering I came in to do is done, Waffles is worn out from fetch (for now), and I have finished my second steep of this Santorini Sunrise black tea. So I am going to head out now and make a quick detour stop at my parents house to drop off some outside bells (Waffles is bell trained like Audrey was for at home to tell me she had to go out, but nosing the bells til they ring is what Waffles uses everywhere as her signal she needs to go outside/come back inside.) And then home and putting on some George Winston music and changing into pyjamas and taking out my contacts and putting on the kettle to make some herbal tea and lighting a beeswax candle. And then reading and tea drinking and piano music and fur baby snuggles and a cozy candle flame until bedtime summons me. Bonne nuit. 

 So I just realized something. 

I finally caught up on my emails and realized that I still needed to listen to and download Eric's song from while I was out visiting my sister's family. I had skimmed the story behind it but not listened to the song or read the lyrics too closely. And my brain just sort of filed it away as being about the tension of ambition/fame which is something I've experienced in past lives but isn't something that motivates me much this life after my surfeit of fame/money last life forced me to see through it for the hollowness it truly is.  I didn't even realize until just now tonight that he was literally writing about training a dog as his metaphor WHILE I was in the midst of training a dog. 

Which would be an odd synchronicity if the bond didn't often manifest as mirroring in each others lives. that sort of bond always does. I can't help it and he can't help it -- our lives just HAPPEN in synchronistic ways that mirror each other and we will always be experiencing the same sort of things at the same time and making choices that mirror the other EVEN WHEN we don't actually touch our lives together or communicate in the 3d everyday. For all I know, he was visiting his nephews (who are within a year or so of Jack and Monroe) at the same time I was at my sister and brother-in-law's visiting with my nephew and nieces. I have no idea if he was with them, but with all the echoes down the bond of my fun hanging out with my own neblings it wouldn't surprise me at all if he had a sudden urge he had to go spend time with his nephews. The bond works like that, we mirror each other without even intending to do so or having any way to know/verify that we're doing it.

But this one is  so obvious it's definitely one of those "wait, how did you NOT see this obvious serendipity between his songwriting and what you're doing in your quotidian" questions about my willful blindness at times to what is right in front of my face.....

I probably wouldn't have been so blind about how obvious this synchronicity if I hadn't been so willfully stubbornly fixated on needing to find a way to not repeat the past lives patterns of him choosing to be with someone else in his physical life while still clinging to the bond and making both our lives completely miserable and unsatisfied as a result of him marrying other people while still clinging to the bond.... I refuse to repeat that old pattern, and my not allowing anything with the lamprey's energy twined around/through it to reach me isn't a judgement about her per se (other than I don't like any energy suckers of any sort, no matter what sort of false healer narrative they hide it under) but because I refuse to let me take part in repeating those same patterns if he refuses to learn his karmic lessons.  I can't make choices for him, only he can make his own choices, but I can refuse to knowingly aid and abet repeating toxic cycles and karmic patterns which is what I'm doing by not allowing anything with the lamprey's energy twining through it to reach me -- so long as his energy is intertwined through his current girlfriend's, faucet is off for everything derived from our bond except what mirrors and bleeds through in our subconscious selves. Because, even though he can't directly reach me in dream space or via the bond the normal way because I'm blocking out the lamprey's energy mixed into anyone/anything from reaching me, the strong emotions and some overlay images will still bleed through. Even with no communication in a proper sense. 

A bond like this will mirror each other always and strong emotions bleed through any sort of blocks, regardless any karmic choices or karmic third parties either of us pull into our mess we've made across recent lifetimes of our bond. We can choose a path to healing each other and growth or we can choose a path to try to ignore/deny it, but the bond IS all the same and we will mirror each other and feel the echoes of the other as our own desires and muse speaking no matter which path we choose.

But yeah. I should have realized and acknowledged the synchronicity. And I did finally listen to the song and read the lyrics of it tonight and I had reactions/opinions. I haven't yet wordsed my reactions to the song beyond my first reaction of how obviously it sounds of a Bob Dylan song with a Billy Joel piano lick (which I can listen to Billy Joel again without uncontrollably crying for missing my sweet Audrey Pupburn which is how it's been the last five months since she died and I am using Billy Joel as Waffles' babysitter whenever I have to leave her kenneled for me to run errands, same as Billy Joel was Audrey's babysitter whenever I was gone) followed strongly by my realization about the mirroring between his song's extended metaphor and what I'm currently filling my life with doing. My third reaction was, "Wait, he hasn't shared any more songs since the 5th?!?! I hope he's okay! O he'd better be okay, he has to be okay! Because I'd know if anything were seriously wrong with him. It would be echoing alarm bells through my silence if any serious harm was menacing him. He probably just got busy distracted with life or lacked his muse to bring his songs to the surface for him these last 3 weeks or so. He's going to be very pressed to meet his goal he set himself if he can't focus and find his muse soon..."

Also, Audrey is DEFINITELY spirit guide training Waffles in her time between lives -- the girl has picked up so many of Audrey's quirks and habits. It's actually really adorable and everybody at mcw is commenting on how similar she is to Audrey in so many ways and none of these things are habits she ever showed before she became officially my dog this month.

And Waffles is doing exceptionally model behavior well at every aspect of integrating and making me happy and not being super anxiety bark-monster pup like she was before I was working with her. So far, the only person who doesn't love her is Spock, and honestly part of it is he's still mourning Audrey's absence and he would be upset with ANY dog that I brought home despite being so lonesome for Audrey's absence that he spent most of his time since end of January wandering around meowling kitten crying while looking for her.... Spock is doing better than most cats with a new dog, but he's still obviously stressed and hisses at Waffles whenever she gets closer than a foot from him except the couple times they were willing to go nose to nose until the dog wagging her tail scared Spock back into hissing backing away. Still, I picked up Feliway diffuser tonight (as well as a new ID tag for Waffles with my phone number and my work phone number so if she ever stops being by my side every moment except when I have errands or concerts, anyone who finds her won't call my sister and brother-in-law; still need to transfer her microchip to me; her new tag is reflective neon green for safety's sake because she's mostly dark colored and also it perfectly matches the greens in collar, harness, leash, and all her tennis balls which are life.) Athe Feliway diffuser is in the hopes that it can help smooth over the acceptance of the long weekend when Waffles and I will be home more rather than at work in the afternoons/evenings and then kenneling Waffles for bed as soon as we get home. (she's a happy snuggle pup and was a model snuggle pup bed warmer at the hotels on the roadtrip home, but until she and the cat are getting along well enough I can trust behaviors while I sleep, Waffles will need to be kenneled while I sleep. So far she's been okay with this and actually goes in her kennel puts herself to bed without me if I stay up reading later than she wants to be up, lol.)

 Yes, those seeking me or who I am seeking can find me in spirit dream space. especially if they know how to reach me. Same as always. Thus why I can talk to Thunderbird/Hawk god in my dream space to ask a question as long as I am respectful. Lucid dreaming in vision dreams means I still and always walk where I will. 

But no, my polar bear can't reach me right now in lucid dreams, he hasn't been able to for a couple weeks now. Why? because i felt that was right. I haven't done anything to the bond in any way, HE is still free to reach me any damn time he wants when he seeks me from a place of pure intent. What I did do is block any and all energy from the lamprey twined through his life reaching me. As long as the lamprey is twined around and through him, he will never reach me again. HE can reach me, anything with the energy signature of the lamprey he allowed to twine through his life and feed on his energy source can NOT reach me. That was a simpler side step I should have thought of ages ago when i was having issues of the scorpion chick in his life and the overlays from that. *shrugs* The polar bear is welcome to find me in dream space again WHEN he is ethically free to do so, and not a moment sooner. And not allowing any touch of the lampreys energy to reach me solves the ethics issue of his soul reaching for me while being with her in the 3d. 

I came up with that elegant solution while out in Kirkland right after the eclipse. It came from some advice that the Morrigan gave me when she escorted Audrey's soul for a dream space visit -- she told me I was wasting an awful lot of my own energy and mental space in trying to block the polar bear when the polar bear himself QUA himself isn't the issue, it's the other energy he's allowed to become twined around him and feeding on him is the problem. She then winked at me and said, "take the advice, work smarter not harder, my dovekin." That's what gave me the clue for how I was going the wrong way about it trying to figure out how to put the bond to sleep or diminish it in any way. the elegance of this is that it doesn't touch the bond whatsoever, and no amount of energy he puts into the bond to reach me will overpower me so he CAN reach me as long as he has the lamprey's energy twined around him and his energy. he's not blocked, just her energy -- and as long as her energy is twining through him he can't reach me via the bond no matter how hard he tries or how frustrated he gets about not having that connection available.

And the best part about it is that it costs me no energy to maintain so I have more energy available to focus where needed, like on pouring love and tranquility into Waffles as she adjusts to her new life. (She's doing so well!!! She's accepted and done well with all her new friends at MCW. And Spock is doing better at accepting Waffles -- not well but better. he's now allowing her about a foot from him before the hissing starts and stays in the same room. he even allowed her right next to him as long as there was a foot or more vertical distance between them today so they both got treats with the cat on the bar stools and the dog on the floor next to them. Still a long way to go though with him.)

It may be hard on the polar bear to not be able to reach me at all down the bond, but if he thinks the lamprey his soulmate he wants to be with in his life then he has no business reaching down the bond for me. Not even for inspiration to write songs.  But as for the old gods and goddesses and archangels and fée, they can all always reach me. Ain't none of them got the lampreys energy signature wound through them. And anyway, i reckon even if they did, they are powerful enough to get around me while I'm incarnating. Only so much energy can be run through a physical body. And that's not nearly as much power as an unincarnated deity linked to Source can use. 

So old gods/goddesses and angels and fairfolk can still reach me easily. Just not the polar bear because no one with the lamprey's energy twining around them (or through them) can reach me. Which is a surprisingly easy thing to have done.

She's a lover, baby, and a fighter, Should've seen her coming when it got a little brighter. With a name like Dani California, Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya. A little loaded, she was stealing another breath, I love my baby to death. California, rest in peace. Simultaneous release. California, show your teeth. She's my priestess, I'm your priest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who knew the other side of you? Who knew what others died to prove? Too true to say goodbye to you. Too true to say, say, say.

I got home last night, lots of stories, mostly entertaining anecdotes but I don't have the words to untangle all my complicated emotions right now to write them out proper. I may remember to tell the stories here, especially the one about the neo-nazi cops outside Bismarck and me never feeling more grateful for my super pale skin and freckles as I did when they pulled alongside me to see if I was worth pulling over for going 5 over while passing a semi that didn't believe in maintaining lane position.... Gave me chills the way they were to have my arms eyed up so obviously (not my boobs, not my face, not my hair glowing all golden-red haloed in the sunlight -- my bare skinned pale dayglo befreckled arms) to determine if i was white enough or if they should pull me over and then as they backed off from alongside me getting a weird salute from the younger one that was very 1940s... That story still gives me the creeps and I haven't told anyone or talked about it because the right time to do so hasn't cropped up. But I have to admit, my snarky arse dark humor inner jukebox decided right after they pulled back and got behind the car behind me that the proper response was, "Never made it up to Minnesota, North Dakota man Was a-gunnin' for the quota. Down in the Badlands she was saving the best for last, It only hurts when I laugh. Gone too fast." I snort laughed at my jukebox brain for finding the single best lyric choice then said, "No. That's too soon. Even for me, that's too soon." But I love the song and had Dani California stuck in my head all day yesterday and I certainly ain't going to complain about that. I effing love the song so much!! I mean, for a girl who never thought she would have a song with her name in the title, to get a female bandit rock song by Red Hot Chili Peppers with a music video that has the band showing the history of rock music iconography?!?! How could a girl ask for better than that to have a song that shares her nickname? (Also, there's a lot of random weird lyrics in that song which fit me uncomfortably Nostradamus level prophetically true...not the back story start of the song, my dad's side are the hippies and there are no coppers in my family and nobody in my family is from Mississippi, but a lot of the rest does. Like, I am a gifted animator after all, had a full ride to SCAD and almost ended up in Savannah for college for a degree in animation with the intention of working for Disney until I learned how soul killing in betweening used to be before animation all went digital to fill the frames seamlessly.)

Waffles did incredibly well with me in the car and at the hotels and all the rest areas and gas stations of the long drive. better than a lot of other "well behaved" and "well trained" dogs would have handled such a long roadtrip while their entire world was upended.... I mean, she's very happy and full of love and gratitude just to be with me. Well. Other than her terror at the spitting hissing hair on end Spock which literally scared the shit out of Waffles last night even though she'd been on a walk before I brought her inside to avoid that happening, As a result, she slept back in her kennel last night after a serious yelling about not pooping in the house even when scared/anxious while I cleaned up. But she can't jump up on my bed without stairs/ramp (it's too high) and given Spock's intense hissing growling meowing reaction to her and how sad his eyes were when he asked me, "How could you replace Audrey so soon and with THIS?!" and he spent all of today curled up on my bed and the pillows he prefers, snuggled up with the polar bear stuffed animal that now wears Audrey's second Packers jersey, not the OG one she picked out for herself at the pet store the first time and that she died in and was buried with her, but her newer one that I had washed. The cat settles while the dog is kenneled but they're definitely NOT besties now because the cat wants nothing to do with her last night/this morning. But for now, given she can't leap all the way up onto my bed because it's too high for her so she can't bedtime snuggles with me and have her weight displacement let me know if she goes off on a wander to eat cat poop or make other destructive trouble while I sleep, she will be sleeping in her kennel as she is accustomed until the two of them settle so they can both be on the bed AND I feel she can be trusted to be loose while I sleep. And then I'll look into getting her pet stairs/ramp. (Correction: she does not need stairs or ramp, she can make the jump onto my very tall bed, she just didn't her first night/morning at my condo out of fear/respect for Spock.) She and Spock will make their own peace, but until they do I may have to invest in some baby gates to allow Spock to have his own space other than on top or under my bed until he warms up to Waffles. I may also have to consider buying some more Feliway diffuser for him.

She was so good today at my work both kenneled while i returned the car ran errands and loose in admin with me since I returned. She's been on a long lead for the yard when outside and on leash entering in and out because I don't know yet what she will do off leash without walls/fences to define her boundaries because that's all she's ever known when off leash because fenced in backyard. But the three most important things in her world are: tennis balls, food, and snuggles. So playing fetch today with her old tennis balls made her a very happy pupper, even with the ongoing threat of the hissing spitting yowling monster in her new home that only seems to chill when I hold him and she is in her safe space kennel away from him.  but at my work with nobody there but her and me, she's perfectly calm and well behaved and other than trying to make friends with the cat who wants nothing to do with her, she's doing well at my flat as well.

Also. So many ravens/crows and eagles/hawks (especially bald eagles!) all throughout my Seattle area visit and flying along with me checking in throughout my drive days back home. Because of course there was. No signs or energies of the entity driving back through Minneapolis and I DID check and traffic was L.A. level of congested not moving from Lake Elmo onward due to the construction on 94 in St. Paul. So if it was lurking, I had ample time to seek it out and feel its presence and would have gotten off the highway to figure out handling it. I felt no echoes of the entity. Oddly enough, as we were approaching and then especially near the part of U of M where I wove my net across timelines to contain the entity, Waffles got all excited insisted we must be nearing home because of how concentrated my energy was right there. And it was, that whole area just rings and resonates my energy net right now like churchbells ringing could be heard for miles before autos drowned them out.  I asked the hawk god/Thunderbird about that last night in dream space, if I should be worried that the entity was only contained in my net waiting to break free not dealt with. That ruffled his temper with me and he told me he'd dealt with the entity himself and separating the parts to send them the right places so to doubt if it was still there was to doubt him and his powers as a god. I then apologized for the unintentional insult and then asked in confusion, "but then why is my energy net still there if it's no longer trapping anything until you deal with it?" His ruffled feathers soothed and he was clearly bemused by my logic I had used and said, "That's the sort of question you only started asking after choosing to incarnate within the cycle of souls. You never asked such time based questions before/after your time incarnating in mortal bodies, my sister." Then he laughed at my continuing confusion and added, "Well why not leave the bright circles you draw? They do no harm leaving them as long as they last and they keep the harm out from taking up an empty lair. Nothing but a powerful archangel or old god or old goddess aligned to Creation can pass your bright circles and nets, path finder.* If anything, they bring brightness to heal the scars because light calls to light. The light you leave from your circles draws those seeking light and peace to those places of protected space and time, even long after you're gone and moved on." Which I reckon makes a divine sort of sense, I just hadn't realized how bright and strong my energy still sits in that area after the net I laid around the entity for Thunderbird to bring to proper Judgement. I guess I hadn't even considered or expected it until Waffles called my attention to it so I felt my energy in that net so strongly she thought we had arrived home because why else would my energy be so bright and concentrated in one place? Which from pupper logic makes sense. (*thunderbird/hawk god isn't the only divine being to call me path finder -- other gods/goddesses, angels, and fée have also referred to me that way. I can't tell if it's a title or a role or just what my functions was/is before I chose to enter the cycle of incarnations because there was a correction needed to protect this Creation unfoldoing and my reaction ot learnign that was, "if not me then who?" I don't know why they sometimes call me path finder in dream space, or if it's more accurately Path Finder, or even what language(s) they use to convey that concept as a name/title/role. But it comes up a lot in my interactions with old gods and even the Goddess has called me path finder among the other old titles she names me because she remembers all the iterations of me across my incarnations. Even those she didn't approve of my free will choices like my last life. Sometimes it's closer to "Path Maker" or "Path Creator" than "Path Finder" but the translation from dream vision speech to English is always inexact....)

Also, Audrey was my Pisces pup, and Waffles is my Cancer doggo. Makes a lot of sense actually about some of her behavioral protectiveness issues... Anyway, Waffles birthday is easy to remember because her half birthday is on Christmas Day. 

More working now. I dont' have the words to write about anything that is all a tangle of emotions in me until I untangle them. (the neonazi cops interaction on the outskirts of Bismarck still gives me chills of raw terror for the pulse test it gave me where evangelical maga mob rule is at amongst the racist christo-fascists....the fuse is far closer to the powder keg of the worst fatelines unfolding than even I had realized... And I have a policy that I don't lie to myself about the realpolitik of the world we currently live in -- no matter the monster, you stare it in the eyes and recognize it for what it is to find the weaknesses to bring it down. if you run from any monster or if you try to ignore it, they only grow to have ever greater power over you. Monsters must be faced and looked in the eye to be defeated with minimal damage, no matter how ugly and complicated and hydra like they are.)

[Post title: Lyrics to Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers.]

About to head to bed now it's after 1am here, just finished the organizing pre pack process for me and Waffles since tomorrow is the first leg of the drive with the overnight in Missoula. 

This is the shortest leg of the roadtrip at about eight hours plus daytime traffic on the 405 and breaks along the way, but I figured I'd start with the shortest to ease me and Waffles in, and that I might be late leaving my sister's family, and I want to have some time for dinner/dog friendly brewery in Missoula I have family who lived in Missoula for most of my childhood and cousins who got married there and it's where you would leave 90 to head towards my parents cabin outside of Glacier. So beyond it being reminiscent of Madison in being the bastion of progressiveness in a sea of red state maga, a stop there feels like a homecoming of sorts because it reminds me of loved family members.) The day after will be the drive across the badlands and northern plains with an overnight in Dakota. Then the last leg is the most familiar part of homecoming, mostly Minnesota and Wisconsin, and introducing Waffles to Spock upon arrival.

I remain fairly confident that Waffles will do well with the drive with me given she has boarded before and she was quiet and peaceful mostly slept or lay down comfortable for recent drives and these were her reactions to our recent day trip adventures to the dog park at Edmonds Marina Beach yesterday (half hour each way; kept her on leash but loose leash and let her observe how other dogs are expected to behave to get to be off leash) and the drive to Fidalgo and Whidby today (about 4hrs total in car time; stops for short hiking/bouldering/exploration jaunts at Cap Sante Park in Anacortes and also at Deception Pass where Fidalgo Island and Whidby Island meet and are bridged across that passage): 

Pretty sure she will be a perfectly happy Dani adventure dog with me based on how she responded to our day trip mini roadtrip adventures, lol.

But what I don't know is 1) how she will react once she realizes this change is a permanent move 2) how she and Spock will get along 3) how she will handle my neighbor dogs barking 4) how she will handle customers coming in and out at MCW and deliveries 5) how she and Sophie will get along..... But those are problems for future me after I'm back home to Madison. For now, my focus is solely on the solo roadtrip to get there.

My nephew Jack and niece Monroe are already having a hard time my visit is ending..... Tomorrow coming home from school to both me and Waffles being gone will be hard on them.... And Jon is going to miss Waffles and tv time snuggles with her after the kids go to bed.... But everybody knew we weren't staying forever soooo.... Yeah. Tomorrow morning will be some playtime and then breakfast and then taking the kids to school and then loading the car and heading out on the long drive eastward to bring Waffles home with me to Wisconsin. 

Also. Yesterday out trip to Fidalgo and Whidby ended up shorter than expected because beforehand I had to go exchange the car. My brother-in-law noticed that the plates had expired (4 2023) and when I called they told me to go in and exchange the car. Which was actually a relief for me because from the moment we booked the reservation, I started precogging that it would be a red sedan style car, but what I first got was a white Hyundai Kona hatchback. Which really messed with me head and i kept seeing it in the driveway wondering, "whose car is here?" But the exchange for the issue with the plates got me a red Honda Accord Sport sedan style (which gets way better mileage and has dual USB so I can nav off my phone and music off my usb stick without UI comprised by driving mode) that perfectly matches my precogs of the drive. Which made me laugh, but laughter tinged with relief because there's never a way to know HOW the precog comes true until it does, lol.

Ciao bye. More later, potentially from the hotels, mais on verra.

 Currently waiting for J to get over lake to pick me up at 10:30 and sitting in one of my favorite spots in my sister's back garden, especially when I want shade not sun, the swinging bench under the cedars by the pond. (They designed the pond with a pond specialist who then built it and cleans/maintains it for them.) It's very peaceful here even with the busy road on the other side of the fence and i like being near the water and listening the sound of it splashing along.

I was going to read for a little bit, but then Mikaela messaged me and it seemed more important to me to reply to her about this than to read my book. 

I wonder if she realizes that it's not always my dream self visiting her with Audrey, most of the time it's the Morrigan or another form of The Goddess appearing in my form (my energy signature is strongly aligned and similar to The Goddess and various iterations of her; ive only been on of her high priestesses for the last 10,000 years or so of lifetimes doing what needs doing by someone incarnating in the cycle of souls) so as not to scare Mikaela but to still bring Audrey to visit her give her the comfort and love from Audrey while she's in soul review between lives. (Mikaela's family are Jehovah's witnesses and I have always been honest with her about what my personal spiritual beliefs are. When she was 4 or 5, M had a breakdown sobbing how she didn't want to go to heaven or even be on new earth if I wasn't there. So her mother and I had to have a bit of a talk with her about religious relativism and the idea of G-d being empathetic and eutheistic. I explicitly told her that as far as I am concerned, spirituality is between the individual and their understanding/perception of the Divine and so I would never lie to her about my beliefs but would also never push them as The Truth. I taught her my personal metaphor that religions are lenses like glasses about best fit to see clearly and comfortably as possible for the individual. I also told her she should believe whatever is right for her and that her mother will love her no matter what spiritual/religious path she follows (which her mother confirmed, but did say witness would be easier for family and church friends relations) BUT that her dad had very strong beliefs in the Jehovah's Witnesses way is The only real Truth so while she was a minor living in their home she was to study and learn about it respect him and their faith and after she was 18 she could decide for herself what she believed and what best fit her own life path. She also has a lot of spiritual gifts that are already awakened and more that are dormant, just from spending her whole life around me as my bonus little sister/cousin/niece/goddaughter unrelated to me. For her own safety and mental health, I've done a small amount of very basic energy shielding and defenses work and empath shielding lessons with her, especially after she hit puberty and things got more intense, and she's been around me when I've done more powerful energy work but I explicitly told her that it would be a need to know basis until she turned 18 and could make her own decisions about further training because of her dad's disapproval of anything related to witchcraft. She turns 18 very soon, before I get back from Seattle area.) 

Gotta run now and walk up the hill to the top of their street to wait by the mailbox for J and their son Arthur! (Jon has important meetings today so the goal is not to have Waffles barking losing her mind when a car pulls up mid meeting.) I'm excited to go spend some time hiking and chatting by Lake Washington and going on a bit of a walk by the lake and then lunch with them! Haven't seen them since pre COVID shut downs! 

 Miss me yet? 😘 Of course you did. Otherwise why are you here? But no worries, here is a veritable smorgasbord of words and stories and anecdotes to get you through the next patch of my silence while I'm at my sister's house.

So I don't know if I've properly told the story about why I'm out here to work with Waffles and then drive with her 30hrs back to Wisconsin -- preferably for her to live with me as my dog, but we will see how she adjusts to second floor living without a yard (mushaboom) because she's always had a fenced in yard to free roam so might need to live with my parents given my condo setup. Part of why I haven't properly told this story is that most of the people in my life are puppy people like me so it casts my sister in not the best light to share this story and I don't like to do that because she is a really wonderful human, just very much a cat person and not a dog person. Whereas I am an all animal whisperer (including wild animals, lots of stories and experiences about that) but one of my nicknames since the first grade or so is "the puppy master" because dogs always adore me and I've always been able to get even the wildest least well trained dogs to listen to my commands want to make me happy so we can romp together. I had friends in elementary school who would invite me over and then choose to have me work with them and their dog. The main thing from my perspective is to try to understand why the behavior happens or makes sense to the dog logic and address things from that lens. Not so much classic dog training with me which means my hand signals commands are different than most, just intuition and the fact that I can think loudly beam my thoughts/desires to them so they often obey before I even speak any words or hand signals and I try to understand the "bad" or destructive behaviors from their perspective to solve interspecies communication issues. I don't so much try to bend a dogs will to my own or break them in how I train, I build mutual trust and love bond and create a relationship of them wanting to please me even when what I'm asking of them doesn't make sense to the dog, knowing it pleases me is reason enough for them to obey just to see me happy and smile on them.  I aspire to someday live where I can have lots of dogs and big dogs especially (I absolutely adore Grand Pyrénées and Irish wolfhounds and Bernese mountain dogs and a LOT of huge love beasties) but that can't happen while I live in a 1200sq ft 2 bedroom 2 bathroom second floor condo. Big dogs (other than greyhounds which are couch potatoes outside their zoomie sprint manic moments) need to have fenced in yards/land to roam and play. Also, because fur babies can be jealous beasties, I think It's important to never have more animals than you have hands/feet/laps for them all to snuggle with you when they inevitably all want to feel your love at once. I love being in the midst of a puppy love fest all around me, but I feel bad for whoever wants pets and just isn't getting them, so I would want to be living in a more than just me situation before I would consider being more than a 2 dog 2 cat household which is my max for me single living. (It's nice to have overlap so that the deaths don't hit you so hard in mourning the way I have been these last six months or more.) I want more dogs and cats than that in my someday home, just as I would love to have a husband and kids and even some horses if living situation allowed -- I just don't want a husband and kids and more animals enough to chain myself to someone I'm settling for as good enough but doesn't make my heart sing with joy every time I see them and feel "you are my home" the way I feel when I look at the stars or snuggle into my polar bear in dream visions. 

But anyway, with me, my aim in dog training isn't to control the dog force them to submit to my iron will, not even to my iron will in a velvet glove, it's to build trust so they feel safe and a loved member of the pack who follows my rules no matter how silly they seem to dog nature because they know it makes me happy shine love beams on them when they do it. For me, that's always the goal -- mutual respect and trust and finding joy in giving/receiving acts of love. Not control. Never control. A dog you try to control becomes neurotic anxiety filled and is always one temptation or one scolding away from from dangerous behaviors. A dog who learns to trust you feel safe with you becomes trained to habits that please you because it knows they make their human happy and so they feel a fully accepted loved member of family-pack. And that is a life changing difference for the dog which approach you take to training and living together. I choose the path of love and clear communication and trust and mutual respect and honoring free will. Always and always. With animals the same as people. And especially with dogs.

But  anyways I should tell the story about the Waffles situation and WHY I am doing bonding/training work then solo driving over 30 hours across country with my sister's family's dog. So let's start with my sister and her family and the dog's current living situation of how we got to here and then I will move on to Waffles personality itself and where I see potential issues with her new situation learning curve based on her current personality temperament. And the section just on Waffled will include lots of recent pictures to reward you for slogging through all my words telling this story. 

So. My sister and I have always been VERY opposite personalities (and very different birth charts -- she's a Virgo sun Pisces moon and I'm a Libra sun Capricorn moon.) I love her dearly and we have a great time together and we both have similar silly streaks inside joke mischief makers in us (mine is more fey impish, hers more punny trolling) and random quirky things we do exactly the same, but we have VERY different foundational natures and personalities and honestly we're different enough that I don't know if we would ever click as well as we do if we hadn't grown up together as sisters. And honestly, in a lot of ways we get along better with some distance between us as adults and ever since she made the discovery in college that if she opens with complete random silliness with me to make me laugh, laughter is my emotional reset switch resets me to my happy cheerful optimistic laughing sunshine self which is the most pleasant to deal with and it means she won't be potentially walking into the unexpected of furious temper over something unrelated Dani, emo Dani, overly analytical critical Dani, precog not seated in the moment Dani, ruthless stoic Dani.... By making me laugh right at the outset of interactions, she drags me back into the present and then resets my mood to know/control the variables of what she has to deal with -- it's one of the best hacks you can have in dealing with all my many facets is that getting me to laugh clears away the clouds/storms of everything else brings back the bright sunshine Tigger me that is the easiest to handle and that everyone misses when it's gone for too long. The other best advice with me is that my Mercury is in Libra and my moon in Capricorn so truth speaking and logic and fairness and honest communication all from a place of trying to reach mutual understanding can ALWAYS unlock just about any seeming obstacle or impasse and get to a place of healing/rebuilding better for the future with me -- where you will get into troubles of drama stubbornness fights with me is anything that offends my sense of justice or makes me feel like you're trying to manipulate me, like if you try intentional cruelty or bullying or passive-agressive or ghosting/bottling things up. So my sister and I get along way better as adults now despite how truly different we are. As mentioned, my sister is a Virgo sun Pisces moon, she's also a Type A engineer planner atheist who likes to control and design her experiences to conform to her own desires and sense of order who is finicky about time management super detail oriented who works as a high up product manager for Microsoft in the Excel department. (Compared to my easy going intuitive strong spiritual gifts holding freewill choices sacrosanct more interest in observing what unfolds while nudging the unfolding into the best future fatelines and my ADHD time blindness which is a mix of flow and hyperfocus could tell you the precise moment if asked but lacks a sense of of time passing without music to internal metronome it.) My sister has also ALWAYS hated many of my most favorite things (in most instances these are about control vs joy of experiencing the wildness of what something naturally is) such as: horses, dogs, books, fiction/storytelling generally, kids (other than her own), hiking, snow, music with real instruments, birds, rollercoasters and thrill rides, getting the hands in the dirt gardening, playing/dancing in the rain, climbing trees, etc. Basically if it's wild and free and can't be made to confirm to her sense of order, my sister has no interest in it and actively dislikes/fears it whereas I'm very much "let's be friends and run and grow together, yeah?" As she refers to it, the world is made up of order Muppets and chaos Muppets and she is very much an order Muppet whereas I am very much a chaos Muppet. She streamlines for efficiency and ease without excess waste/risks and I will be one of the last bohemian wildling hermits refusing to be fully tamed to an arbitrary artificial order and trying to save the knowledge of what has come before

So my sister has always and always and always been distinctly a cat person never a dog person. She considers licking gross even knowing it's for affection, hates the smell of dogs, doesn't like dogs underfoot making tripping hazards of themselves or their things, can't stand how loud barking is, doesn't like any form of jumping or pulling, gets frustrated when household rules are forgotten in excitement, she has a fear of how quickly teeth can turn dangerous in an uncontrolled/untrained dog. (To my knowledge she was never bit by a dog as a child or anything, but she has a strong aversion bordering on fear to German shepherds and that's what she always projects when she talks about fear of accidental or intentional biting/nipping issues with the kids and dogs.) As I said, she is absolutely just not at all a dog person.... And as an adult, she got her first cat in college and has always had cats. But her husband (of almost a decade now) is very allergic to cats and while Flonase makes a cat in the house livable, he can't really cuddle with any cats. So he had been wanting and hoping for eventually adding a dog into the family mix for him to have fur baby snuggles and to care for. He also had a dog growing up and had fond memories of childhood dog in the house wanted that for his own kids if possible. When Jack and Monroe were very young, it made sense not to have a dog underfoot and training when one person isn't a dog person and the other had a dog as a kid but not as the responsible owner/trainer role -- especially since my sister ranks all human needs as higher than the animal needs, and she ranks the dog as the lowest priority of all. Additionally, while Jack loves dogs especially playing with them, he's a wild kinetic kid with little bodily awareness or impulse control who's not good at nurturing but wants to impose his created rules on the world around him. Contrast that to Monroe, who is very nurturing care giving and helpful at checking the food/water for both animals, but she is easily scared by loud noises and fast movements and is scared of most dogs but especially big dogs (with labradoodles being the most scary to her) so she loves her own dog when the dog is calm but is scared when she isn't and calm is often a fleeting thing with young dogs, especially around excitable young children full of exuberance. So before Elliot was born, Jack started petitioning to get a dog and Jon had always wanted a small snuggle pup and when Monroe was convinced (by Jack) my sister reluctantly agreed she was outvoted and with everyone home working remotely due to COVID, she would accept a dog as long as it's one that she didn't find aesthetically objectionable. Eventually they picked Waffles from a local rescue bringing her up with a batch of puppies from Texas. 

Everything was going okay but I could tell that my sister's patience was getting stretched pretty thin with Waffles exhibiting normal dog behaviors my visit before the pregnancy with Elliot. No matter what Waffles did or how hard she tried to please my sister, the best my sister had for her in return was tolerance for meeting expectations but never love or full pack membership. And any slightest infection of Miche's code of expectations, even just Waffles licking her ankle once to tell her she loved Miche would make my sister flinch away and yell at Waffles, "Ewwww! No lick!" This made Waffles incredibly anxiety ridden and neurotic because she felt no matter what she did, she couldn't meet basic expectations to be loved and accepted by my sister and once she was anxiety neurotic dog, she got very defensive territorial about barking at deliveries and visitors and especially visiting dogs who she was afraid would transgress the strict household rules and she would be the one in trouble. The anxiety barking was the hardest, because it would aggravate my sister's repugnance to dog because she couldn't stand the sound of it said it hurt her ears. Meanwhile, Jack loved to play with the dog but was indifferent and inconsistent with her needs and while my brother-in-law Jon adored Waffles and put so much energy and love into training when and working with her, but ultimately it bonded her to him with trust and affection but couldn't assuage the anxiety neuroses issue. Jon insists she has such anxiety they have to drug her take her in just to get her nails trimmed because she's a dachshund mix (as listed on her vet papers) but not all dachshunds are anxiety filled and most of it is Waffles home life not feeling anything she does can make her accepted into her family pack anxiety.... They both always told me that Waffles behavior issues improved remarkably whenever I'm visiting but then get worse immediately after I leave and when I saw which way the wind was blowing with my sister barely tolerating Waffles but never extending affection and then started having contingent precogs about Waffles ending up feeling alone and betrayed back in shelter system then euthanized as too defensive, I made a promise to Waffles that this is her home and her family and that she would live here as long as she had a place here, but that if that ever changed I love her and she is my pack-family and I would come get her so she could live with me. At the same time I put my sister on notice one time she was complaining about Waffles that I consider Waffles my family and I love her so if they ever decide that Waffles isn't working out with their lifestyle, I claim first dibs on her and she is to go to family she already knows and loves rather than adopting her to strangers. It was a seed I have been very relentless in making clear to everyone, including my parents. 

Then my sister became pregnant with Elliot and things got worse. Miche developed a strong aversion and nausea to the doggy smell of Waffles and Waffles was protective of Miche wanted to be near her always. Miche also got a bit hormonal protective of her kids was afraid that Waffles getting excited and the kids moving too fast was going to lead to the kids accidentally getting nipped while playing. So she started separating them as much as possible and telling everyone how she considered Waffles a bite risk (she isn't imho) and eventually they decided that Waffles was not allowed upstairs past the baby gate at the top of the stairs except to clean up food spills at the dining room table or to invite her outside while Jon is grilling on the upper deck. This effectively cut Waffles off even further from pack acceptance, she was only ever allowed in the office (where her kennel is) and the downstairs bathroom (where her food and water dishes are), the rumpus room, and the stairs. This made her more defensive neurotic anxiety ridden and the barking issues got worse as well as destructive anxiety behaviors (none of which were exhibited with me or when Waffles is boarded at her doggy daycare when their family goes on vacations.) At this point, I started seriously discussing with them both making clear that if she needed to be rehomed, it was incredibly important to me that she come to WI to family she already knows. Finally they agreed and my mom got weird and savior complex wanted to come out to take the dog back with them (even though she doesn't want two dogs) rather than letting my sister and me work it out so I did the drive back with Waffles.

After Elliot was born, the situation deteriorated further and Waffles wasn't even allowed in the rumpus room when Elliot was in there but had to stay on the other side of a baby gate from everyone in her pack which combined with Jon needing to focus on the kidsb led to more anxiety and defensiveness and barking inappropriately and eventually they decided to re-home Waffles. but once again my mom insisted on trying to make "Operation Waffles" a part of one of their visits to their Montana cabin in Whitefish. Last minute, just days before my parents were leaving, my sister and family waffled back to deciding to keep the dog, much to my parents annoyance since they had planned and scheduled hotels and auch around travel with a dog. It was at this point, when my mom had insisted on trying to do it her way rather than listening to me gently telling her it wouldn't work no matter how carefully she planned it that I reminded them that instead of getting angry putting Miche et al on defensive or making ultimatums, I needed them to remember the end goal is for Waffles' well-being and to egt her home to WI not back in adoption pool as a defensive anxiety ridden dog feeling betrayed by everyone she everloved. And then I planted in their ear that my sister has a subconscious view of this dynamic where she would not want to be "rescued by her parents after failing" and that my sister would never swallow the pill of seeing it as her failing as a dog owner needing her parents help to salvage things but that she could easily swallow the pill of, "my impulsive irrational intuitive sister loves this dog and insists on wanting her if ahe doesn't live with us." It's easier for my sister to see it as about my love making me be stubbornly irrational than my parents rescuing a failure.....  Also, I think Jon's observations of how I operate and work with her within the parameters of the house rules versus my parents weekends here ignoring their house rules make him trust handing off the dog he loves to me and then still getting to keep her close enough to get pictures and visits for him and Jack.

Of everyone, I think the most disappointed that the plan changed when the Kirkland family chose to try to keep Waffles and thus my parents didn't bring Waffles back in August was my girl girl Audrey Pupburn who was so excited to have a little sister that she set aside the new beds I bought her over last summer insisted they were for Waffles wouldn't let my cat Spock sleep in the one at home or my parent's dog Sophie sleep in the one at work and continuously brought me toys to ask if Waffles would like them and put them in the beds didn't let anyone play with them because they were gifts she was setting aside for her new little sister. I'm glad that I wasn't working with a new dog in those last months of Audrey dying, so I could give her my full complete attention, but also Waffles not coming to live with us so Audrey could meet her help train her broke my old lady dog's heart and she kept hoping they could meet before she died.....

I did make it very clear to my sisters family when they decided against the planned August re-home via my parents that if they changed their mind again, nothing could be done to re-home her via car until the Cascades, Snoqualmie Pass, the Rockies, and the northern Plains could have a safe window.... Which meant late April or early May at the soonest. 

At the end of my visit in late November/early December, when Waffles insisted to me she wanted to come with to live with me and kept staying with my luggage trying to sneak out with me. And I had to tell her I was flying and she's too big for the cabin and she couldn't come until a time I was driving back. After I left, Waffles regressed and threw an absolute tantrum about me leaving. She removed her bed from her kennel and destroyed it then spent the entire night howling and barking at the top of her lungs. Which given 6 month old baby, 4 year old who gets night terrors, and a 7 year old who when overtired makes his grumpiness everyone's problem was a recipe for disaster. They bought her a new bed, same thing. They bought her another new bed, same thing. This repeated for a while, every night, to a point my sister was considering sending Waffles cargo hold in a plane to me. Meanwhile her anxiety behaviors were all worse than they'd ever been. Finally, they stopped buying her new beds and put in her kennel the quilt that had been on the daybed and still smelled of me because my sister had decided it was time to replace it since it had some dog claw tears in it and put it in the "to wash for goodwill" pile. As soon as they gave her that blanket that smelled of me, she settled down stopped the all night howling bark fest. This solidified that the dog missed me and i loved her camp into the "everyone will be happier if Waffles goes to live with Dani" camp. And I told them that their choices were I had an unclaimed free week in March for which I could fly in for 2-3 day quick visit before driving back with the dog or if they could wait until May I had enough of a spam of time for my typical 1.5-2 weeks visit bwfore the drive. My sister got really pouty at just a couple days short visit not a full Dani visit so she opted to endure the dog longer in their house to get to have me for 2 weeks before my drive with the dog, but she still preferred early as possible within the parameters given.

Now. As for Waffles. She is a really obedient loving dog who tries super hard, though she does get overwhelmed and easily distracted requires that I use the focus command with her like you do with training a service dog. She is listed as a dachshund mix on her vet records (which I have) but I would guess based on her phenotype and bark timbre and personality she has dachshund, beagle, corgi, and then maybe some basset or Jack Russel terrier or Texas heeler/blue heeler (she even has the spots in some areas.) She is a mutt originally from Texas before ending up at the rescue that brought her up to Seattle area. My sister and brother-in-law think maybe some pittie in her but I don't see it. I do love pitties, especially brindles or those beautiful grey ones with blue eyes, but I don't see  in Waffles.  She is 38lbs low to the ground but long with a large ribcage, but Audrey also had a very wide ribcage (and an incredibly resonant deep bark that sounded like I had a 100lb dog not a 25-30lb dog) and so they both use large sized dog clothes and I brought Audrey's fairly new punk colorful skull/crossbones paint splatter harness (I prefer harness style over gentle lead, i feel like i have better control and less possibly of hurting them when not pulling a dog around by the muzzle) and bright green rope leash which was still full of Audrey's energy and had no past associations for Waffles. I presented it to her to sniff all over the first night I arrived and then spent several days of bonding and trust building and getting her used to my firm but consistent chipper positive reinforcement training methods. Also to teach her some bilingualism in hand signals but also commands. I say no in varying languages for varying intensities of making clear there's a problem -- nyet is the most severe "stop this behavior immediately" over all of the noes I use. And then in part because I often am thinking  in French so need to be certain I am understood when I give commands but also because I discovered with Audrey that American dogs are more consistent in immediate compliance to French commands than English because nobody uses them wrong ever since only I use them. I also have nuances where like "give" means "give so I can throw or give back" and "drop" means "put it down now we're all done for now" and "leave it" means "we want nothing to do with that don't even pick it up in your mouth." I also distinguish between saying "bad" for "this behavior is bad" from "no" which is usually followed by the verb I am negating and "enough" which means "I hear you and acknowledge your reasons not stop what you're doing and return to neutral receptive focus." Enough (or assez in French mode) is how I handle barking issues. Because it's important to acknowledge the dog has reason to be giving warning of stranger danger but also to establish, "I've heard, thank you, now shut up so I can deal with this as I feel the threat merits." If you just tell a dog "no barking" you're telling them that the behavior is always wrong and it messes with their heads when they know the situation could be a problem and you may not realize. It's also important when dealing with barking issues that you not let irritation/anger/fear/frustration/embarrassment creep into your voice because your dog will get more agitated if they think the situation has you upset -- the more calm and in control you are, the better your success rate with barking issues. Stay calm and acknowledge what they are alerting about and then tell them to move on trust you to handle it is what I have found works best. Sometimes I will even say aloud, "Thank you for alerting me. But that's enough now. Enough." Waffles has responded extraordinarily well even in just one week of working with me and how I handle it, though I expect regression on barking when I'm not around, especially while we're still here where hwr anxiety is highest especially around my sister. I also use "enough" on walks when I have let the dog sniff for a while but feel it's time to move along.  And Waffles picked that up right away yesterday our first walk together. 

For leash work, she did really well our first walk together yesterday despite what I was warned (apparently her kennel when they're out of town does take her on walks so she had some more preliminary leash work) and didn't take the bait at other dogs barking (even the very protective long haired German shepherd inside a gated fenced in yard right by the little library) or other dogs or people. She had a tougher time on our second walk yesterday, but that was a family group walk because Jack had been wanting to walk with Waffles and me but then wanted to bring his scooters and i told him that with Waffles having such a fear of wheels especially coming up behind her, all scooter/strollers would have to be in front of us. So it would have been a test for almost any dog to ask them to walk behind and slow down even further behind every time they pulled to go ahead because their family was way ahead.... I mean, that's definitely hard to rein in any dog in that mode. I don't allow pulling and will stop to force the dog behind me every time they try to pull but I don't insist on a dog being behind my heel while walking as proper heeling because I don't train subservience and I prefer to have them alongside me where I can watch for if they try to eat anything and stop it before they eat cigarette or pot butts or anything else would make them sick. But today she was even better and our walk was for an hour -- and today included an outdoor cat crossing the road near us and a rabbit suddenly bolting from under a shrub and she pointed at both, but no barking or lunging or anything and when I told her, "i see it, leave it be" she relaxed stopped pointing and wanted to keep going. And I did yesterday's two walks and today's walk on hard mode since this morning was garbage collection so all the bins were out both days to tempt with food sniffs and make obstacles on the sidewalk, but she did great didn't even sniff the bind or try to sniff/grab at any of the refuse or even food that had fallen out. She's also definitely grasping what I mean when I tell her "leash rules"  and then as I take off the harness tell her "off leash rules." Which is good because the expectations I have on leash ARE different than when you're just a free roaming puppo doing normal dog existence. 

Anyway, this is Waffles: 

I'm not concerned at this point about her going with me really, she's been told and she knows and now is at a point that she chooses keeping me in eye sight over anyone else. I haven't yet worked with her in larger crowds of strangers or done car rides with her. Her current family has her crate trained and when they take her places they have her kenneled in the trunk of the SUV. I will have her passenger back seat where she can face me and am considering pros and cons of keeping her in the kennel she knows or buying her a belt buckle clip on (solo driving with her for 30+ hours so need to contain her since no human to run interference.) I'm leaning seatbelt attachment based on how she is on me and i like to keep kenneling to a minimum even for dogs already crate trained with it being their safe space. I am keeping her kenneled at nights while here and will in hotels because it's what she knows and it's safe and too much change for her already. But once home, I may just have the kennel for her safe space or when she's left unattended until she learns trust but let her sleep with me if she wants. 

I am still uncertain about how she will handle second floor apartment living (especially since she is used to fenced back yard roaming where ball is life) and all the strangers at MCW not barking at them especially when I'm not there and how introductions with Sophie (who doesn't always get along with new dogs) will go. But those are all problems for future me and the best thing I can do now is to be prepare and keep building strong foundations between me and Waffles and incrementally increasing strange places/people/dogs and then after Saturday driving places with me in the time before the travel starts. Doing the best foundational work I can focusing on the present is the best I can do for those potential future issues. 

I will have to have solved the MCW problem and her being there during the day without me by May 30th since my grandma has an appointment that day. And convince my parents they cannot under any circumstances come to the computer store whenever they get back on the 30 with Sophie from heading out west as I need to be there for best introductions between dogs to occur.... They are NOT going to like that but it's the truth. And I'd rather leave Waffles in her kennel barking at the neighbor dog driving Spock and all the neighbors nuts than risk them fucking up that introduction thinking they can do it without me.... And then by June 10/11 (or maybe 12/13? Somewhere in there, whenever Fri/Sat is) I will need Sophie and Waffles to coexist at my parents house without me around because I have tickets to see Nickel Creek tickets in Chi and Minne those nights.

So anyway, the dog training trust building is going the absolute best it could and even Jon is saying that he knows Waffles will be happier living her beat life with me -- but he's going to miss her so is glad they will be doing family vacation to Wisconsin in July to see all of us. I'm currently at the midpoint of my 2 week visit where I'm no longer brand new toy so there's quarreling of everyone needing me full focus all the time but before the feeling that "the end of this visit is nigh" starts to make me once more in constant high demand of the kiddos. So today I actually had some time to myself to read and to write this up after we got back from the Trader Joe's run and after my sister and brother-in-law settled in for work from home day my only plans for the day were to read/write and snuggle with Waffles in the greyish morn, lunch, planting the new basil plant (and transplanting the thyme plant to make room for it) and taking Waffles on an hour long walk before more hanging out in the garden with the dog reading/writing until we left to go meet Jack at the bus stop then go pick up the girls from their school (daycare, but they refer to it as school.)

Anyway. Yeah. There's the updates on life here and also the full story about Waffles and this rehoming project. She's not a dog I'd pick out for me, but I love her and she's really good and obedient and loving and smart for me. She's very much just a dog, not a familiar or soulmate or past life ties to me. And sometimes a pet is just that and it's the truest expression of them. And I love her and i think she'll honestly be good and happy to be with me whatever I ask of her. Now reading and chamomile tea then bedtime for me! Bonne nuit!