Miss me yet? 😘 Of course you did. Otherwise why are you here? But no worries, here is a veritable smorgasbord of words and stories and anecdotes to get you through the next patch of my silence while I'm at my sister's house.

So I don't know if I've properly told the story about why I'm out here to work with Waffles and then drive with her 30hrs back to Wisconsin -- preferably for her to live with me as my dog, but we will see how she adjusts to second floor living without a yard (mushaboom) because she's always had a fenced in yard to free roam so might need to live with my parents given my condo setup. Part of why I haven't properly told this story is that most of the people in my life are puppy people like me so it casts my sister in not the best light to share this story and I don't like to do that because she is a really wonderful human, just very much a cat person and not a dog person. Whereas I am an all animal whisperer (including wild animals, lots of stories and experiences about that) but one of my nicknames since the first grade or so is "the puppy master" because dogs always adore me and I've always been able to get even the wildest least well trained dogs to listen to my commands want to make me happy so we can romp together. I had friends in elementary school who would invite me over and then choose to have me work with them and their dog. The main thing from my perspective is to try to understand why the behavior happens or makes sense to the dog logic and address things from that lens. Not so much classic dog training with me which means my hand signals commands are different than most, just intuition and the fact that I can think loudly beam my thoughts/desires to them so they often obey before I even speak any words or hand signals and I try to understand the "bad" or destructive behaviors from their perspective to solve interspecies communication issues. I don't so much try to bend a dogs will to my own or break them in how I train, I build mutual trust and love bond and create a relationship of them wanting to please me even when what I'm asking of them doesn't make sense to the dog, knowing it pleases me is reason enough for them to obey just to see me happy and smile on them.  I aspire to someday live where I can have lots of dogs and big dogs especially (I absolutely adore Grand Pyrénées and Irish wolfhounds and Bernese mountain dogs and a LOT of huge love beasties) but that can't happen while I live in a 1200sq ft 2 bedroom 2 bathroom second floor condo. Big dogs (other than greyhounds which are couch potatoes outside their zoomie sprint manic moments) need to have fenced in yards/land to roam and play. Also, because fur babies can be jealous beasties, I think It's important to never have more animals than you have hands/feet/laps for them all to snuggle with you when they inevitably all want to feel your love at once. I love being in the midst of a puppy love fest all around me, but I feel bad for whoever wants pets and just isn't getting them, so I would want to be living in a more than just me situation before I would consider being more than a 2 dog 2 cat household which is my max for me single living. (It's nice to have overlap so that the deaths don't hit you so hard in mourning the way I have been these last six months or more.) I want more dogs and cats than that in my someday home, just as I would love to have a husband and kids and even some horses if living situation allowed -- I just don't want a husband and kids and more animals enough to chain myself to someone I'm settling for as good enough but doesn't make my heart sing with joy every time I see them and feel "you are my home" the way I feel when I look at the stars or snuggle into my polar bear in dream visions. 

But anyway, with me, my aim in dog training isn't to control the dog force them to submit to my iron will, not even to my iron will in a velvet glove, it's to build trust so they feel safe and a loved member of the pack who follows my rules no matter how silly they seem to dog nature because they know it makes me happy shine love beams on them when they do it. For me, that's always the goal -- mutual respect and trust and finding joy in giving/receiving acts of love. Not control. Never control. A dog you try to control becomes neurotic anxiety filled and is always one temptation or one scolding away from from dangerous behaviors. A dog who learns to trust you feel safe with you becomes trained to habits that please you because it knows they make their human happy and so they feel a fully accepted loved member of family-pack. And that is a life changing difference for the dog which approach you take to training and living together. I choose the path of love and clear communication and trust and mutual respect and honoring free will. Always and always. With animals the same as people. And especially with dogs.

But  anyways I should tell the story about the Waffles situation and WHY I am doing bonding/training work then solo driving over 30 hours across country with my sister's family's dog. So let's start with my sister and her family and the dog's current living situation of how we got to here and then I will move on to Waffles personality itself and where I see potential issues with her new situation learning curve based on her current personality temperament. And the section just on Waffled will include lots of recent pictures to reward you for slogging through all my words telling this story. 

So. My sister and I have always been VERY opposite personalities (and very different birth charts -- she's a Virgo sun Pisces moon and I'm a Libra sun Capricorn moon.) I love her dearly and we have a great time together and we both have similar silly streaks inside joke mischief makers in us (mine is more fey impish, hers more punny trolling) and random quirky things we do exactly the same, but we have VERY different foundational natures and personalities and honestly we're different enough that I don't know if we would ever click as well as we do if we hadn't grown up together as sisters. And honestly, in a lot of ways we get along better with some distance between us as adults and ever since she made the discovery in college that if she opens with complete random silliness with me to make me laugh, laughter is my emotional reset switch resets me to my happy cheerful optimistic laughing sunshine self which is the most pleasant to deal with and it means she won't be potentially walking into the unexpected of furious temper over something unrelated Dani, emo Dani, overly analytical critical Dani, precog not seated in the moment Dani, ruthless stoic Dani.... By making me laugh right at the outset of interactions, she drags me back into the present and then resets my mood to know/control the variables of what she has to deal with -- it's one of the best hacks you can have in dealing with all my many facets is that getting me to laugh clears away the clouds/storms of everything else brings back the bright sunshine Tigger me that is the easiest to handle and that everyone misses when it's gone for too long. The other best advice with me is that my Mercury is in Libra and my moon in Capricorn so truth speaking and logic and fairness and honest communication all from a place of trying to reach mutual understanding can ALWAYS unlock just about any seeming obstacle or impasse and get to a place of healing/rebuilding better for the future with me -- where you will get into troubles of drama stubbornness fights with me is anything that offends my sense of justice or makes me feel like you're trying to manipulate me, like if you try intentional cruelty or bullying or passive-agressive or ghosting/bottling things up. So my sister and I get along way better as adults now despite how truly different we are. As mentioned, my sister is a Virgo sun Pisces moon, she's also a Type A engineer planner atheist who likes to control and design her experiences to conform to her own desires and sense of order who is finicky about time management super detail oriented who works as a high up product manager for Microsoft in the Excel department. (Compared to my easy going intuitive strong spiritual gifts holding freewill choices sacrosanct more interest in observing what unfolds while nudging the unfolding into the best future fatelines and my ADHD time blindness which is a mix of flow and hyperfocus could tell you the precise moment if asked but lacks a sense of of time passing without music to internal metronome it.) My sister has also ALWAYS hated many of my most favorite things (in most instances these are about control vs joy of experiencing the wildness of what something naturally is) such as: horses, dogs, books, fiction/storytelling generally, kids (other than her own), hiking, snow, music with real instruments, birds, rollercoasters and thrill rides, getting the hands in the dirt gardening, playing/dancing in the rain, climbing trees, etc. Basically if it's wild and free and can't be made to confirm to her sense of order, my sister has no interest in it and actively dislikes/fears it whereas I'm very much "let's be friends and run and grow together, yeah?" As she refers to it, the world is made up of order Muppets and chaos Muppets and she is very much an order Muppet whereas I am very much a chaos Muppet. She streamlines for efficiency and ease without excess waste/risks and I will be one of the last bohemian wildling hermits refusing to be fully tamed to an arbitrary artificial order and trying to save the knowledge of what has come before

So my sister has always and always and always been distinctly a cat person never a dog person. She considers licking gross even knowing it's for affection, hates the smell of dogs, doesn't like dogs underfoot making tripping hazards of themselves or their things, can't stand how loud barking is, doesn't like any form of jumping or pulling, gets frustrated when household rules are forgotten in excitement, she has a fear of how quickly teeth can turn dangerous in an uncontrolled/untrained dog. (To my knowledge she was never bit by a dog as a child or anything, but she has a strong aversion bordering on fear to German shepherds and that's what she always projects when she talks about fear of accidental or intentional biting/nipping issues with the kids and dogs.) As I said, she is absolutely just not at all a dog person.... And as an adult, she got her first cat in college and has always had cats. But her husband (of almost a decade now) is very allergic to cats and while Flonase makes a cat in the house livable, he can't really cuddle with any cats. So he had been wanting and hoping for eventually adding a dog into the family mix for him to have fur baby snuggles and to care for. He also had a dog growing up and had fond memories of childhood dog in the house wanted that for his own kids if possible. When Jack and Monroe were very young, it made sense not to have a dog underfoot and training when one person isn't a dog person and the other had a dog as a kid but not as the responsible owner/trainer role -- especially since my sister ranks all human needs as higher than the animal needs, and she ranks the dog as the lowest priority of all. Additionally, while Jack loves dogs especially playing with them, he's a wild kinetic kid with little bodily awareness or impulse control who's not good at nurturing but wants to impose his created rules on the world around him. Contrast that to Monroe, who is very nurturing care giving and helpful at checking the food/water for both animals, but she is easily scared by loud noises and fast movements and is scared of most dogs but especially big dogs (with labradoodles being the most scary to her) so she loves her own dog when the dog is calm but is scared when she isn't and calm is often a fleeting thing with young dogs, especially around excitable young children full of exuberance. So before Elliot was born, Jack started petitioning to get a dog and Jon had always wanted a small snuggle pup and when Monroe was convinced (by Jack) my sister reluctantly agreed she was outvoted and with everyone home working remotely due to COVID, she would accept a dog as long as it's one that she didn't find aesthetically objectionable. Eventually they picked Waffles from a local rescue bringing her up with a batch of puppies from Texas. 

Everything was going okay but I could tell that my sister's patience was getting stretched pretty thin with Waffles exhibiting normal dog behaviors my visit before the pregnancy with Elliot. No matter what Waffles did or how hard she tried to please my sister, the best my sister had for her in return was tolerance for meeting expectations but never love or full pack membership. And any slightest infection of Miche's code of expectations, even just Waffles licking her ankle once to tell her she loved Miche would make my sister flinch away and yell at Waffles, "Ewwww! No lick!" This made Waffles incredibly anxiety ridden and neurotic because she felt no matter what she did, she couldn't meet basic expectations to be loved and accepted by my sister and once she was anxiety neurotic dog, she got very defensive territorial about barking at deliveries and visitors and especially visiting dogs who she was afraid would transgress the strict household rules and she would be the one in trouble. The anxiety barking was the hardest, because it would aggravate my sister's repugnance to dog because she couldn't stand the sound of it said it hurt her ears. Meanwhile, Jack loved to play with the dog but was indifferent and inconsistent with her needs and while my brother-in-law Jon adored Waffles and put so much energy and love into training when and working with her, but ultimately it bonded her to him with trust and affection but couldn't assuage the anxiety neuroses issue. Jon insists she has such anxiety they have to drug her take her in just to get her nails trimmed because she's a dachshund mix (as listed on her vet papers) but not all dachshunds are anxiety filled and most of it is Waffles home life not feeling anything she does can make her accepted into her family pack anxiety.... They both always told me that Waffles behavior issues improved remarkably whenever I'm visiting but then get worse immediately after I leave and when I saw which way the wind was blowing with my sister barely tolerating Waffles but never extending affection and then started having contingent precogs about Waffles ending up feeling alone and betrayed back in shelter system then euthanized as too defensive, I made a promise to Waffles that this is her home and her family and that she would live here as long as she had a place here, but that if that ever changed I love her and she is my pack-family and I would come get her so she could live with me. At the same time I put my sister on notice one time she was complaining about Waffles that I consider Waffles my family and I love her so if they ever decide that Waffles isn't working out with their lifestyle, I claim first dibs on her and she is to go to family she already knows and loves rather than adopting her to strangers. It was a seed I have been very relentless in making clear to everyone, including my parents. 

Then my sister became pregnant with Elliot and things got worse. Miche developed a strong aversion and nausea to the doggy smell of Waffles and Waffles was protective of Miche wanted to be near her always. Miche also got a bit hormonal protective of her kids was afraid that Waffles getting excited and the kids moving too fast was going to lead to the kids accidentally getting nipped while playing. So she started separating them as much as possible and telling everyone how she considered Waffles a bite risk (she isn't imho) and eventually they decided that Waffles was not allowed upstairs past the baby gate at the top of the stairs except to clean up food spills at the dining room table or to invite her outside while Jon is grilling on the upper deck. This effectively cut Waffles off even further from pack acceptance, she was only ever allowed in the office (where her kennel is) and the downstairs bathroom (where her food and water dishes are), the rumpus room, and the stairs. This made her more defensive neurotic anxiety ridden and the barking issues got worse as well as destructive anxiety behaviors (none of which were exhibited with me or when Waffles is boarded at her doggy daycare when their family goes on vacations.) At this point, I started seriously discussing with them both making clear that if she needed to be rehomed, it was incredibly important to me that she come to WI to family she already knows. Finally they agreed and my mom got weird and savior complex wanted to come out to take the dog back with them (even though she doesn't want two dogs) rather than letting my sister and me work it out so I did the drive back with Waffles.

After Elliot was born, the situation deteriorated further and Waffles wasn't even allowed in the rumpus room when Elliot was in there but had to stay on the other side of a baby gate from everyone in her pack which combined with Jon needing to focus on the kidsb led to more anxiety and defensiveness and barking inappropriately and eventually they decided to re-home Waffles. but once again my mom insisted on trying to make "Operation Waffles" a part of one of their visits to their Montana cabin in Whitefish. Last minute, just days before my parents were leaving, my sister and family waffled back to deciding to keep the dog, much to my parents annoyance since they had planned and scheduled hotels and auch around travel with a dog. It was at this point, when my mom had insisted on trying to do it her way rather than listening to me gently telling her it wouldn't work no matter how carefully she planned it that I reminded them that instead of getting angry putting Miche et al on defensive or making ultimatums, I needed them to remember the end goal is for Waffles' well-being and to egt her home to WI not back in adoption pool as a defensive anxiety ridden dog feeling betrayed by everyone she everloved. And then I planted in their ear that my sister has a subconscious view of this dynamic where she would not want to be "rescued by her parents after failing" and that my sister would never swallow the pill of seeing it as her failing as a dog owner needing her parents help to salvage things but that she could easily swallow the pill of, "my impulsive irrational intuitive sister loves this dog and insists on wanting her if ahe doesn't live with us." It's easier for my sister to see it as about my love making me be stubbornly irrational than my parents rescuing a failure.....  Also, I think Jon's observations of how I operate and work with her within the parameters of the house rules versus my parents weekends here ignoring their house rules make him trust handing off the dog he loves to me and then still getting to keep her close enough to get pictures and visits for him and Jack.

Of everyone, I think the most disappointed that the plan changed when the Kirkland family chose to try to keep Waffles and thus my parents didn't bring Waffles back in August was my girl girl Audrey Pupburn who was so excited to have a little sister that she set aside the new beds I bought her over last summer insisted they were for Waffles wouldn't let my cat Spock sleep in the one at home or my parent's dog Sophie sleep in the one at work and continuously brought me toys to ask if Waffles would like them and put them in the beds didn't let anyone play with them because they were gifts she was setting aside for her new little sister. I'm glad that I wasn't working with a new dog in those last months of Audrey dying, so I could give her my full complete attention, but also Waffles not coming to live with us so Audrey could meet her help train her broke my old lady dog's heart and she kept hoping they could meet before she died.....

I did make it very clear to my sisters family when they decided against the planned August re-home via my parents that if they changed their mind again, nothing could be done to re-home her via car until the Cascades, Snoqualmie Pass, the Rockies, and the northern Plains could have a safe window.... Which meant late April or early May at the soonest. 

At the end of my visit in late November/early December, when Waffles insisted to me she wanted to come with to live with me and kept staying with my luggage trying to sneak out with me. And I had to tell her I was flying and she's too big for the cabin and she couldn't come until a time I was driving back. After I left, Waffles regressed and threw an absolute tantrum about me leaving. She removed her bed from her kennel and destroyed it then spent the entire night howling and barking at the top of her lungs. Which given 6 month old baby, 4 year old who gets night terrors, and a 7 year old who when overtired makes his grumpiness everyone's problem was a recipe for disaster. They bought her a new bed, same thing. They bought her another new bed, same thing. This repeated for a while, every night, to a point my sister was considering sending Waffles cargo hold in a plane to me. Meanwhile her anxiety behaviors were all worse than they'd ever been. Finally, they stopped buying her new beds and put in her kennel the quilt that had been on the daybed and still smelled of me because my sister had decided it was time to replace it since it had some dog claw tears in it and put it in the "to wash for goodwill" pile. As soon as they gave her that blanket that smelled of me, she settled down stopped the all night howling bark fest. This solidified that the dog missed me and i loved her camp into the "everyone will be happier if Waffles goes to live with Dani" camp. And I told them that their choices were I had an unclaimed free week in March for which I could fly in for 2-3 day quick visit before driving back with the dog or if they could wait until May I had enough of a spam of time for my typical 1.5-2 weeks visit bwfore the drive. My sister got really pouty at just a couple days short visit not a full Dani visit so she opted to endure the dog longer in their house to get to have me for 2 weeks before my drive with the dog, but she still preferred early as possible within the parameters given.

Now. As for Waffles. She is a really obedient loving dog who tries super hard, though she does get overwhelmed and easily distracted requires that I use the focus command with her like you do with training a service dog. She is listed as a dachshund mix on her vet records (which I have) but I would guess based on her phenotype and bark timbre and personality she has dachshund, beagle, corgi, and then maybe some basset or Jack Russel terrier or Texas heeler/blue heeler (she even has the spots in some areas.) She is a mutt originally from Texas before ending up at the rescue that brought her up to Seattle area. My sister and brother-in-law think maybe some pittie in her but I don't see it. I do love pitties, especially brindles or those beautiful grey ones with blue eyes, but I don't see  in Waffles.  She is 38lbs low to the ground but long with a large ribcage, but Audrey also had a very wide ribcage (and an incredibly resonant deep bark that sounded like I had a 100lb dog not a 25-30lb dog) and so they both use large sized dog clothes and I brought Audrey's fairly new punk colorful skull/crossbones paint splatter harness (I prefer harness style over gentle lead, i feel like i have better control and less possibly of hurting them when not pulling a dog around by the muzzle) and bright green rope leash which was still full of Audrey's energy and had no past associations for Waffles. I presented it to her to sniff all over the first night I arrived and then spent several days of bonding and trust building and getting her used to my firm but consistent chipper positive reinforcement training methods. Also to teach her some bilingualism in hand signals but also commands. I say no in varying languages for varying intensities of making clear there's a problem -- nyet is the most severe "stop this behavior immediately" over all of the noes I use. And then in part because I often am thinking  in French so need to be certain I am understood when I give commands but also because I discovered with Audrey that American dogs are more consistent in immediate compliance to French commands than English because nobody uses them wrong ever since only I use them. I also have nuances where like "give" means "give so I can throw or give back" and "drop" means "put it down now we're all done for now" and "leave it" means "we want nothing to do with that don't even pick it up in your mouth." I also distinguish between saying "bad" for "this behavior is bad" from "no" which is usually followed by the verb I am negating and "enough" which means "I hear you and acknowledge your reasons not stop what you're doing and return to neutral receptive focus." Enough (or assez in French mode) is how I handle barking issues. Because it's important to acknowledge the dog has reason to be giving warning of stranger danger but also to establish, "I've heard, thank you, now shut up so I can deal with this as I feel the threat merits." If you just tell a dog "no barking" you're telling them that the behavior is always wrong and it messes with their heads when they know the situation could be a problem and you may not realize. It's also important when dealing with barking issues that you not let irritation/anger/fear/frustration/embarrassment creep into your voice because your dog will get more agitated if they think the situation has you upset -- the more calm and in control you are, the better your success rate with barking issues. Stay calm and acknowledge what they are alerting about and then tell them to move on trust you to handle it is what I have found works best. Sometimes I will even say aloud, "Thank you for alerting me. But that's enough now. Enough." Waffles has responded extraordinarily well even in just one week of working with me and how I handle it, though I expect regression on barking when I'm not around, especially while we're still here where hwr anxiety is highest especially around my sister. I also use "enough" on walks when I have let the dog sniff for a while but feel it's time to move along.  And Waffles picked that up right away yesterday our first walk together. 

For leash work, she did really well our first walk together yesterday despite what I was warned (apparently her kennel when they're out of town does take her on walks so she had some more preliminary leash work) and didn't take the bait at other dogs barking (even the very protective long haired German shepherd inside a gated fenced in yard right by the little library) or other dogs or people. She had a tougher time on our second walk yesterday, but that was a family group walk because Jack had been wanting to walk with Waffles and me but then wanted to bring his scooters and i told him that with Waffles having such a fear of wheels especially coming up behind her, all scooter/strollers would have to be in front of us. So it would have been a test for almost any dog to ask them to walk behind and slow down even further behind every time they pulled to go ahead because their family was way ahead.... I mean, that's definitely hard to rein in any dog in that mode. I don't allow pulling and will stop to force the dog behind me every time they try to pull but I don't insist on a dog being behind my heel while walking as proper heeling because I don't train subservience and I prefer to have them alongside me where I can watch for if they try to eat anything and stop it before they eat cigarette or pot butts or anything else would make them sick. But today she was even better and our walk was for an hour -- and today included an outdoor cat crossing the road near us and a rabbit suddenly bolting from under a shrub and she pointed at both, but no barking or lunging or anything and when I told her, "i see it, leave it be" she relaxed stopped pointing and wanted to keep going. And I did yesterday's two walks and today's walk on hard mode since this morning was garbage collection so all the bins were out both days to tempt with food sniffs and make obstacles on the sidewalk, but she did great didn't even sniff the bind or try to sniff/grab at any of the refuse or even food that had fallen out. She's also definitely grasping what I mean when I tell her "leash rules"  and then as I take off the harness tell her "off leash rules." Which is good because the expectations I have on leash ARE different than when you're just a free roaming puppo doing normal dog existence. 

Anyway, this is Waffles: 

I'm not concerned at this point about her going with me really, she's been told and she knows and now is at a point that she chooses keeping me in eye sight over anyone else. I haven't yet worked with her in larger crowds of strangers or done car rides with her. Her current family has her crate trained and when they take her places they have her kenneled in the trunk of the SUV. I will have her passenger back seat where she can face me and am considering pros and cons of keeping her in the kennel she knows or buying her a belt buckle clip on (solo driving with her for 30+ hours so need to contain her since no human to run interference.) I'm leaning seatbelt attachment based on how she is on me and i like to keep kenneling to a minimum even for dogs already crate trained with it being their safe space. I am keeping her kenneled at nights while here and will in hotels because it's what she knows and it's safe and too much change for her already. But once home, I may just have the kennel for her safe space or when she's left unattended until she learns trust but let her sleep with me if she wants. 

I am still uncertain about how she will handle second floor apartment living (especially since she is used to fenced back yard roaming where ball is life) and all the strangers at MCW not barking at them especially when I'm not there and how introductions with Sophie (who doesn't always get along with new dogs) will go. But those are all problems for future me and the best thing I can do now is to be prepare and keep building strong foundations between me and Waffles and incrementally increasing strange places/people/dogs and then after Saturday driving places with me in the time before the travel starts. Doing the best foundational work I can focusing on the present is the best I can do for those potential future issues. 

I will have to have solved the MCW problem and her being there during the day without me by May 30th since my grandma has an appointment that day. And convince my parents they cannot under any circumstances come to the computer store whenever they get back on the 30 with Sophie from heading out west as I need to be there for best introductions between dogs to occur.... They are NOT going to like that but it's the truth. And I'd rather leave Waffles in her kennel barking at the neighbor dog driving Spock and all the neighbors nuts than risk them fucking up that introduction thinking they can do it without me.... And then by June 10/11 (or maybe 12/13? Somewhere in there, whenever Fri/Sat is) I will need Sophie and Waffles to coexist at my parents house without me around because I have tickets to see Nickel Creek tickets in Chi and Minne those nights.

So anyway, the dog training trust building is going the absolute best it could and even Jon is saying that he knows Waffles will be happier living her beat life with me -- but he's going to miss her so is glad they will be doing family vacation to Wisconsin in July to see all of us. I'm currently at the midpoint of my 2 week visit where I'm no longer brand new toy so there's quarreling of everyone needing me full focus all the time but before the feeling that "the end of this visit is nigh" starts to make me once more in constant high demand of the kiddos. So today I actually had some time to myself to read and to write this up after we got back from the Trader Joe's run and after my sister and brother-in-law settled in for work from home day my only plans for the day were to read/write and snuggle with Waffles in the greyish morn, lunch, planting the new basil plant (and transplanting the thyme plant to make room for it) and taking Waffles on an hour long walk before more hanging out in the garden with the dog reading/writing until we left to go meet Jack at the bus stop then go pick up the girls from their school (daycare, but they refer to it as school.)

Anyway. Yeah. There's the updates on life here and also the full story about Waffles and this rehoming project. She's not a dog I'd pick out for me, but I love her and she's really good and obedient and loving and smart for me. She's very much just a dog, not a familiar or soulmate or past life ties to me. And sometimes a pet is just that and it's the truest expression of them. And I love her and i think she'll honestly be good and happy to be with me whatever I ask of her. Now reading and chamomile tea then bedtime for me! Bonne nuit!