Fwiw, I brought up my dating history with Ian solely because I was surprised and genuinely happy for him. I don't regret or have what ifs regarding Ian P. and me cutting the dating aspects off before anything more serious than making out. Exes are exes for reasons. And it's not just because I know what I want like a north star always pulling me back. I stand by what I told Ian P that I am too old for him until he has met his authentic self, both physically in this life since there's an 8 year gap between us and because this is his first ever incarnation whereas my soul has incarnated across so many millennia. And the only reason I know that I'm his manic pixie dream girl who got away is because he once asked me if I ever thought about if we had met later if maybe I would have taken him more seriously as a potential boyfriend, once he knew himself better and I reminded him, "If you hadn't met me exactly when you did, you would still be defining yourself in opposition to what others want you to be instead of trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be qua you. If we had met later, you'd be no closer to knowing your authentic self, you'd probably be further from it. Plus, we wouldn't have all these years of concerts and stories and memories." 

And. You shouldn't be surprised Ian is a piano player, or that one of my exes had a billboard top 10 that I know to be written about me. You have to remember, that when I was 19 I accidentally cursed myself and every boyfriend I have had since then has been a musician and/or songwriter. 😆 Every. Single. One. Even those who I didn't know it when/how I met them or who have it as a hobby not the center of their life/career. You see, when I was 19, I said to a friend of mine who was a musician in a college band that I helped out with whatever they needed, "I'm not the sort of girl a musician dates." And he told me, "You assume too much." And we got in a disagreement where I insisted they dated the cheerleader/sorority girl/model/heiress type who cling to them manipulate them and are mean girls behind their back to whoever they view as a threat and my proof was that this was a pattern I saw repeat over and over and over with every musician I had ever known or befriended, including him. And he said, "You're right that musicians get lonely and we date the first woman who is hot and makes us feel loved by her even if it's controlling and manipulative trying to mold us into who she wants us to be. But you're wrong about you. You're the girl we want to date if only we were a version of us good enough we thought you would say yes. You're the one we write our best songs about and dream of bringing home to stay. And some day, some musician is going to sweep you off your feet and marry you despite yourself." I just snorted and rolled my eyes said, "Right. Sure. That's what it is. It's okay, you don't have to try to make me feel better. The proof's in the evidence, and I've seen no evidence that any musician would ever date me because I'm not the girl who will lie to him try to control him just to keep him. And may the gods prove me wrong if I have a bad premise in there." He just shook his head grinned at me and said, "you'll see. You just cursed yourself, asking for proof that you're the sort of girl a musician would want to date. I've seen you wyrd enough people without meaning to, you just lay wyrd on yourself." He and I never dated, I always figured I was like a little sister to him, but he was right about my laying wyrd on myself -- since then every single guy I've even just made out with and gone no further with dating has been a musician or songwriter, let alone those I actually have dated. I've not even been asked out by anyone without them being a musician or songwriter since I turned 19..... It's ridiculous enough to be a standing second question when I'm interested in someone, "So what instrument does this one play?" 

I've dated touring musicians many times, and it's not the touring musicians life that is why they're exes, it's because they're not what I want for myself and I know that and eventually they knew that too. I've spent enough of my adult life in and around musicians and songwriters that there's no special aura around it and they don't exist on a pedestal for me, I know it's grit and hard work and scraping by more often than not. It's why I'm the friend they call when a vehicle breaks down because they know I'll pick them up side of the road get them to safety and drive me and my dog and a full car of musicians and instruments in the trunk from Chicago to Champaign when my plan was to head home to Madison that morning, in order to get them to the venue for at least a stripped down acoustic show then let them use my car to ferry everyone else down while I hang out and give synesthesia based song critiques of demos when asked my opinion and offered early listen.  For me, I don't judge musicians by their band's fame or their music's success, I judge them by how they treat other people and the ethics they live by. Not the ethics they claim they stand by, but how they ACTUALLY treat people. If I have ever loved your songs, I will always love those songs, but how you treat me or how I observe your lack of basic respect for anyone is the only way you will alienate me from loyally sticking by your band coming to every show that's driveably close. Even if I don't love the new direction of the music at any point, I'll still show up to the shows I can to support your music and let you know you are loved and respected by me so long as money/timing/weather allows. It's only when you behave in shitty ways and get defensive about it that I'll stop showing up for your shows. It's not that I fell out of love with the songs, it's that I lost respect for you and your ethics and that's something only you can fix by addressing whatever behavior pattern made me lose respect for you qua you. I judge you more by how you behave and treat people, myself included, than by anything you can do onstage to put on a good show. Diva behavior and ostracism bullying tactics that you defend rather than apologize make amends for will get you exactly what your behavior asks of me, you will cease to exist in my world and I will bury you in the dust of my forgetting. (That's a paraphrase of a Baltasar Gracian quote at the end.)

But yeah, my history of exes, every single one of them since I was 19 and accidentally cursed myself have been musicians and most of them were singer-songwriters as well. Varying degrees of success and varying levels of the music being central to their life/career, but every single one of them has been a musician. Not just Ian, the punk scene emo kid who moved to LA for his music but got discovered from behind the camera to become a cover model. 

P. S. And I'm reading the Foucault because I am a completionist and once I start something I want to see it through to the end, especially if it's a book or tv series. And a few weeks back I decided to reread The Chomsky-Foucault Debate on Human Nature looking for something I remembered from my college first reas, but the copy I own picked up later has some further interviews/essays with each of them that I hadn't read before. The Chomsky ones were fascinating, but I honestly think that Foucault is a long winded pompous pretentious ass bag who likes to say, "well this is what MOST people think, but I disagree with them and then split hairs rather than tell you what he actually theorizes. He never seems to stand for much of anything except disagreeing with other people trying to make himself bigger by cutting them down.... But let me tell you what I really think of Foucault 😉

This is the last Foucault interview and then I'm done with reading this book cover to cover. I just need to finish it.