Curious... I woke up crying this morning. Not sobbing, just quiet tears streaming down my face. It's rare for me to cry. Mostly I just chin up stoic through when hurt or sad or upset. And I'm not currently sad inside about anything, I'm really quite ridiculously happy. I've missed all my Irish music friends a lot and so I'm full of giddies having them all back in my life. And my cheeks hurt from grinning so much through the shows (4 for We Banjo 3, second for Socks in the Frying Pan will be tonight. Skerryvore will be tomorrow.) And yet..... The thing is, it doesn't even feel like my sadness, it feels like when his echoes inside me down the bond. But why would he be sad? He's in Brooklyn pursuing the life path of his choosing, he sold out his first three solo shows of his NYC residency so he got upgraded to bigger venue for April, one of those sold out solo shows is coming up real soon, he's got fun multi artist fest style concerts coming up over the summer with his band.... So why would he be sad? He has everything he's asked for and chosen to prioritize for his life path and happiness this life. I highly doubt that sense of aching loss echoing in me that made me wake up with tears streaming down my face is his.... And yet, that's what it feels like. But what could he possibly have lost that ever mattered enough to him that he chose it for his life and it's absence is making him sad? As far as I can tell, he has everything he has ever chosen and prioritized and valued for his life and everything he (or anyone in his band) have ever reached for creatively or career wise is coming up Midas touch roses for him.... 

It's probably just the full moon and end of Pisces season drawing near. It's probably not anything to do with him or echoes of his sadness in my inner stillness. Because why would he be that sad when everything he's built his life around and choosing to build his future around is going so well for him? We'll go with saying phase of the moon, astrological season, and collective world suffering as Ukraine burns that's hitting the empath precog. Because how could it be his sadness down the bond making me cry when he has everything he's chosen to value and create and build his life around to make his doing so well? What has he lost that he ever valued or chose for his life that would gut him so deeply it would reach me via the bond so I would wake up crying? No, we'll lay this on the moon and the stars and the state of humanity and the collective suffering that is closer than most humans can see coming. Even if it does feel like when his sorrowing echoes down the bond 

*yawns* I'm not tired right now, but I haven't been sleeping enough or deeply when I do for the last two weeks or so. Especially the last several days I keep waking up every hour or so as I'm about to enter REM/astral dream vision state. Should I listen to my body get up? Or listen to my logic brain and try to make me sleep more  now that we're well past sunrise. Je ne sais pas.....  

It was so good to see Fiachra and Aodyn again last night after so long!!! And I'll get to see them (and Shay, the button accordion/concertina player from the Bronx filling in for Fiachra's brother Shane who is the third member of the band but only plays the summer gigs because he's also a teacher) again tonight!!!! 🥰 Also, all the songs and tunes again tonight!!!!!! (Which in Irish music culture are not the same thing. Songs have vocals and words, tunes are the instrumentals.)