O. And also.  As long as I'm correcting things that might have been misunderstood.

I should fess up that I have no expectation that in this life the polar bear will free himself to be able to meet the conditions for the door to be unsealed so he or I can open it.

Why would I?

That wasn't how the recurring vision dreams ended. They ended when I accepted that I can't free him from chains he puts on himself and doesn't want to be free from. It ended because of me mourning the hurts it causes him and me refusing to be a reason for him to be hurt in order to hurt me.  It ended by me acknowledging the only power I had in the situation was to remove myself from it entirely -- and then to follow the spirit guide who was willing to create and open the door for me to walk through. And in the end, the Morrigan did warn me that the conditions I set to unseal the door might never now be met once it was sealed. And I accepted that truth -- because there was nothing that was changing without removing myself from the dynamic and accepting my own removal from it..

So what about that ending would make you think I have any expectations about him changing the ending in this life and unsealing that door that is closed for as long as either of us chooses to be manipulated/controlled to be a source of hurt to the other?

No matter how stubborn he is once he makes up his mind about something, doesn't mean he's stubborn about me. Especially when he ain't shown no signs of that in life choices. More likely he'd just stay stubborn defending the indefensible, staying silent rather than confronting what needs to be confronted for healing and freedom rather than being stuck in a master-slave dialectic about control and jealousy and defensiveness. Not even when it would be so incredibly easy to check into it, to see if the claims about past behavior patterns are true or false. 

You literally just have to go to the blocked accounts list on the shared account and see if infinitefacets is listed there to see if there's even a beginning kernel of truth in what I have repeatedly said for 2.5 years. That's all anyone EVER had to do to verify if what I've been saying about the injustice of EVERY time they go live or put content exclusively on the band Instagram account has any bearing on truth. It's been that easy to check. For 2.5 years, it's been that easy to find the truth and acknowledge it and start the process to fix it. And yet nobody, NOBODY associated with the band ever did that or ever even responded in any way to being told that it happened and is continuing to happen.

And if you're too scared to even check if there has been abuses done in the name of you and everyone in your band that undermine everything you ever claimed to stand for, then why would I think you'd have the courage to remove the chains of control you have allowed to choke you and silence you and hurt you if you fight them? 

Given that. Why would I be expecting the bear to succeed in freeing himself from being controlled and his hurt used to hurt others, the only conditions by which the door can be unsealed? 

My goodbyes before I followed the Morrigan to leave and allowed the raven deities to seal the door She created for me were me expecting it to be a farewell for this life. In my heart I've known that since the night I made the choice that changed the recurring vision dreams and stopped them repeating. I expect him to find his way free to meet the conditions to unseal the door eventually, he must for his own soul path -- but I do not expect it in this life. And even if he meets the condition to unseal the door for the sake of his soul path, it doesn't mean he'll open that door or that he'd still be seeking me at that point.

My farewell and the reasons I cried over it were expecting that it would be an untold number of lifetimes before I expect our life paths to cross again. Because the choices now to bring our life paths to cross again are out of my power, they are not my choices to make.

So why would I expect the door to be unsealed by his choices at any point in this lifetime?  I have no reasons to expect it of him.... 

And setting him free, removing myself from his options as long as we will be a source of hurt to each other, is about setting him free to make his own choices. He's got to make them. In his own time and his own way. And that means I can't have any expectation for him to choose what I want the ending to look like. 

It's about his choices. Not about my desires. And so I have no expectations of what those choices of his will look like.  My desires and expectations aren't what it's about. Not what any of it's about... It's about his choices. His free will.

So I don't expect him to choose what I want just because I want it. For all I know, it might be in him just to ignore and forget about the sealed door and about the way the bond was and has always been until it was sealed. I don't know his choices and I won't pretend to myself that I matter to him when all the evidence has been to the contrary.  Better not to expect anything from him this life. 

After all, if you don't expect someone to choose their better angels of who they claimed to be, they'll never disappoint you again. It's easier to expect them to show the colors they've already shown you, and not expect anything else.

So I'm not holding onto hope. Sitting and waiting with the Morrigan braiding and unbraiding my hair behind the sealed door wasn't an expectation he'll choose to unseal it or remember how to open it even if he does meet the conditions to unseal it. It was me mourning, giving myself the space/time to mourn, til I choose to leave the caves and return to the light and the outer world where that dynamic can't find me or reach me. 

I have no expectations at this point of it ever being made right, what was done in 2018 and denied by gaslighting refusing to even acknowledge it since then. And there is nothing he or they can create that I have any interest in without first addressing and fixing what they broke. And since there's no signs of that happening, I therefore have no expectations that my conditions can be met to unseal the door in this lifetime. 

I believe in magic. Not the impossible. Magic is about free will and choices and the use of energy to manifest the improbable into happening.

Not all stories have a happy ending -- it all depends on the choices people make along the way as to how the story unfolds and what ending is reached. And I don't expect the choices to be made that would bring about a happy ending here. I don't expect it because so far those aren't the choices that have been made by any of them. Not once. Not ever.

So I don't expect the door to be unsealed in this lifetime. I don't expect a happy ending to that story -- just me letting go and leaving the story to wander and find other stories.

I just don't expect a happy ending to it this life at this point.And I didn't when I made that choice in the recurring vision dream and I followed the Morrigan and said the words to seal the door.

Why would I?