Right. So it's been a minute...Ok, much more than a minute. Been rather busy recently. But also, I've just sort of checked out of social media because all the ai slop and the terrible algos have rendered them of increasingly low interest to me, so it's not just here I've been rather more silent than sharing of myself online. It's been a general trend with me. Like, if you're not in my physical life or not in my texts, you're probably not hearing anything at all from me. And that's just my current era is to be checked out from any desire or need to share about myself online or even to be checking in on socials other than using it as a means for checking in on very specific individuals (including things like my cousin's updates on her cancer journey -- not because I don't talk to her, but because having to tell multiple people multiple times is stressful and a lot of energy hard to do for people going through it, so it's easier for her to update in one place and if I stay informed there then when I text with her or we hang out, she doesn't have to start with repeating the same hard news she's already shared so many times. And, with something like that, it's about whatever is best/easiest//least source of extra weight/demands on her and nothing to do with anyone else or how they "ought" to expect to get the information as some sort of ego driven metric of their relationship. At least, that's how I see it. So checking in on her is a reason I go on socials and for other very niche specific things where it's the best way to get the information I seek, but otherwise I'm really not on there much these days.

Anyway. I had the smoothest 6a til close election official shift in years, everything went as close to perfectly as possible (hopefully that doesn't jinx me for Nov) and now Irish season is past (except for Fox Cities Irishfest in mid to late Sept, third weekend i think) and my sister and her family flew back to Seattle area today. O, and my precogs started up again, at least the little personal ones stopped being opaque, about a week or so ago. And I'm back to feeling that sense of anticipation that something bright and beautiful is just over the horizon waiting to surprise me (which I've not felt in a while actually) so that's good. I'm not sure what shifted, if it was in me, in the world timelines, in someone else's choices I don't (yet) know, in something galactic/astral that interrupts or facilitates my time/precog related gifts. I just don't know the why of it, only the isness of it. But it's rather a relief for me -- I always feel a bit...cautious?... trepidation?.. uncertainty?... when I disconnect from hearing my future self (even if it's just the little things like what I will wear or what I will eat on a future day or something I need to watch out for coming up that I can change or need to accept. I always wonder the why of the disconnect and if maybe there isn't a future path for me and that's why I can't connect to it.... So it's been a relief to me to have that back again. I've also had more of the large scale global tragic immutable precogs to carry. But that just is what it is any life you're stuck playing Cassandra amongst your gifts.

 It was nice to have my sister's family visit and the trip up to the Dells was fun -- as was them springing for the condo rental at Wilderness to have more options for people staying over (though we still had to take turns coming back to take care of the dogs.)  I got hardly any work done during the week though with them here, 15 hours total before coming back home on Sat so I've been at work since noon today and will be back at work tomorrow -- despite my cat Griffin freaking out lonely wondering where I am.... (I haven't been home since Thurs midday and on Fri there was some intense rain and tornadoes relatively near Madison and my cat is TERRIFIED of bad storms, this is the first since I adopted him that i didn't stay home with him to be able to take him to the basement for safety with me and the dog.) I really want to get home to him, but also, I do need to get hours in unless I want to use some pto this week which will make later in the year harder. 

There was some family drama, some where I expected it but one I didn't see coming (either via precog or  just logic of interpersonal behavior patterns playing out.) Basically, before she went to college, my sister left a box of her old Palm OS devices with my parents at work and she had sealed it taped it up left notes on it on every side withe her name saying not to open or use, all VERY clearly.  I had no idea that box was still here, hadn't seen it in literal decades and assumed my sister had taken it back ages ago. Well, at some point in the last 20 years, that box was opened and her palm devices were taken apart, some stripped for parts, and some including the hardest to replace is just completely missing.  My sister is devastated and gone through a massive series of emotions over it. I mean, every form of grieving over it: sorrow, anger, deep mourning, acceptance, buying replacement devices on ebay and she will have to decide if she's going ot carefully replace them with her old cases.... Just, a lot of feelings form her. My sister is a Virgo with a Pisces moon (yes born at a full moon) and Pisces rising -- she is very type A and where she cares she cares deeply and it can be VERY hard from the outside to know what she cherishes feels sentimental about but otherwise she frequently purges things gets rid of them when she's done with them (and sometimes she will get nostalgic about something she decided ages ago to get rid of.)  So I can understand assuming across 20 years that she may not care anymore, though given how pivotal and defining her early love of Palm devices and how it helped her get her first job hired at Microsoft, I can't believe my parents would have opened that box without consulting her.... My parents don't remember claim they don't know who did it and there are two past employees they think it could have been (both sold an stripped dead old parts to sell on ebay) BUT my sister says one of hers that had been disassembled had a note on it in my mum's handwriting saying it was MEL's old device, now belonged to the store and something with the initials of one of the two techs they expect harvested through her old palms for parts to sell. It's a fucking mess.... My sister is completely devastated, sees it as a huge trust fail, that she had entrusted a box of some of her most important things and my parents didn't protect it so she doesn't feel like she can ever again trust them with anything that matters deeply to her -- and I don't think my parents understand how deeply hurt and upset she is by this. And I don't even know what they could possibly do to make this right start healing this unless they can find her an Acer s10 palm OS that was an import and not many made back in the day but was the first palm os in another language (specifically Chinese, which my sister studied in high school -- she was so excited about it and of course this is the one device completely missing and that she can't find on ebay or anywhere else to replace hers that is just gone....) But if my parents can find it to replace it, I'm sure my sister and Jon can -- they' had already spent several hundreds of dollars to order replacements online from the moment she received the box back like that -- opened and with things missing and town apart missing critical parts of them. This is a huge fucking mess, and my sister does NOT forgive and forget, she dwells and ossifies and remembers what hurt her long past the point everyone else forgot something ever happened.... I mean, there are several on my mum's side of the family who hold lengthy grudges about ways people have hurt them and my sister is among those who hold onto it the longest. And this was a huge thing for her... Absolute. Fucking. Mess.

Anyway. So that happened. And is happening. And I have no idea how it can be healed or made better. Genuinely no idea. And I'm a Libra sun and Mercury with a Pisces rising, even with my Scorpio stellium and Sag stellium you have to try REALLY fucking hard to corner me into an interpersonal relations where I can't see a way to improve or heal things. Like, the worst I can think of before this is that I don't see a way to change or heal it UNLESS specific other parties apologize or act to make right where they did wrong -- I can usually figure out HOW it could be healed and repaired even if I can't force others to choose the path that leads to that. This is the first outside of people needing to leave abusive situations that is so broken I can't find any way or thing my parents could do to heal it if they ever even realized how much damage they did to my sister and her ability to trust them with anything she cares about in the future. And that's just heartbreaking, especially since I don't even know how or when this happened, only when my sister discovered it and how it affected her.... It would almost have been better if the box had completely disappeared or been accidentally taken by the electronics recycling people than for my sister to get the box back in the completely broken condition her palms were in when she received them back....

*le sigh*

Is what it is. And I know I can't fix and heal everything and people have to make their own choices on their own journey of growth and I hold free will sacrosanct as the source of meaning to anything that matters... But this one hurts me to feel like I don't know what to do or how to make it better. 

 And this one is incredibly devastating and I don't know that my parents realize how deeply my sister took it....

Anyway. Other than lots of working this weekend and spending time with my cat reassuring him, this coming week is a little busy but nothing like recently busy with plans. Tues I will be taking my grandma to an appointment, Thurs I have APT tickets with a big group (Two Gentlemen of Verona), and then Fri I have plans to meet up and catch up with one of my best friends from high school/university but who I haven't seen in years. Between my time blindness and her being busy (high school art teacher with two kids living on a farm) and her being a very early bird no longer interested in concerts or theatre late nights, it's just been years since we last actually got together. But apparently she was having lots of dreams about me (interestingly, just over a half dozen people have told me directly that I have been appearing in their dreams over the last month or so) and she was hoping we'd just naturally cross paths but we didn't so she reached out to make plans and Fri was the only time that worked with my busy August and her school schedule starting up again.  I'm actually very excited to see Michelle again after so long! I've missed her and didn't realize how long it's been since we really connected until she reached out and I realized, 'O shit! it's been sooo long..."

 Anyway, that's this week. And then the week after that, on Tues I will have a work event in Chi with my mum and Sarah that includes tickets to a Cubs v. Brewers game and then also tickets to see Sueno at APT that Thurs. And the week after that tickets to a brewers v. Cubs game in Milwaukee on Labor Day and tickets for a Punch Brothers show the following weekend. And then the week after that is a midweek Bailen show in town, then Fox Cities irishfest followed by a Skerryvore concert in Madison (and I need to clean everything, but especially Spare Oom, by Sept 20 since I told Keito she could stay over after that show so she doesn't have to drive back to Milwaukee between working merch for the Skerry lads in Madison and their next show in Galva IL that she's working merch for them.) And that's about it in the calendar coming up for me in Virgo season other than Packers games started back up and fitting my work hours in wherever I can/choose to fit them in.

 So a little busy but not "OMG busy" to overwhelm my introvert recharge time and completely derail my work and sleep schedule in ways I can't do anything about other than waiting until I have time for disappearing into some much needed hermitting.

 I'm going to finish up soon and head home to my cat. He must be so very worried.... Crissy was maybe going to stop in on Fri but with the storms she didn't make it and I knew I'd be coming back on Sat I just didn't intend for it to be so late until I came in to unpack some things and water my plants but then I added up my time card and went, "O fuck! I played hooky WAY too much this week and now need to do my best to get 25 hours in across the weekend?! Shit shit shit!" 

 Anyway. So there's a bit of a life update from me now my life is slowing down again for a bit. Currently still single again, still living just me and my fur baby familiars, still spending most of my time with my books and tea or out hiking with the trees and flowers when I'm not working or taking care of my own plants or at cocncerts/theatre or watching sports I care about. Still an impulsive magical af fée elf witch who knows things she shouldn't possibly know and whose ADHD and spiritual gifts combine to make me a sociable introvert.

O also. I think Waffles is allergic to grass (my dog Waffles Fionnuala O'Whoofigans, not the kind of waffles you put syrup on)  She's always shown mild allergy symptoms seasonally, but this year she's been really bad every time grass pollen gets high.... Watery eyes, super itchy skin (especially her feet after she goes outside to potty) that she licks/bites the itchy feet so bad they're irritated and inflamed red swelling when it gets bad... We've been trying Benadryl doses for her when it gets bad because it's dog safe before trying vet prescriptions for her since the canine allergy relief drugs can have some not great side effects.