I'm not actually thinking or feeling like going anywhere, I'm not even feeling a pull or need like "I must figure things out change everything right now" inside me. I'm actually sitting in a very zen trusting internal space that has faith in "things are unfolding the way that is best to get what is best and most right at the right time in the right way." I don't really have agitation in my heart or soul right now -- nothing to run from or run toward and no anxiety about the time disappearing that one can never have back once those moments pass. The recent posts are more that I was doing some introspection of looking back over this year and the heart spaces I moved through and trying to understand the whys and things I didn't see or realize while moving through it. 

I'm not feeling the need to put energy into ANY of my potential choices I can see right now actually, more of "let's wait and see as time breathes into what's unfolding where I can't see it -- I don't need to make any choices until I'm at a branching and can see what the choices are between."  I'm not agitated or have the bit in my teeth or set my mind on anything. I'm perfectly happy to focus on pouring my love and energy and attention into who/what IS choosing to be in my life right now and waiting to see what the future has to offer me when we get there.

 I actually only have not quite 3 weeks remaining before I fly out to visit my sister and her family for the holidays (and they're keeping me out in the Pac Northwest for just over two weeks again) -- so the rest of this year is going to disappear really quickly.  I'm actually already doing the thing mentally where I'm certain I'm in the next year already and the current year just looks wrong and I have to double triple check make sure I'm not writing the date wrong. (it's like the way some people get in Jan/Feb writing the previous year, I often spend the ending of a year having to fight myself not to write the COMING year telling myself "No Dani, 25 is still right. 26 is wrong for now.") Last year, that wrongness of the current year wanting to write the coming year instead started in late Aug actually -- the second earliest it's ever happened to me. And that was an "ugh the rest of this year is terrible -- let's just skip ahead please" whereas THIS time it feels like, "the rest of the year is lovely -- but next year is even better and I want to get there!" inner sense. This year it just started in the last several days, somewhere around mid November, that I started thinking 25 looked wrong and dates on everything should say 26 and need to forcibly remind myself I'm not there yet and not to just skip over the joys of the end of this year and the time it gives me to spend with the people and animal and plants and places and things that I love that are currently in my life. 

Also. I'm really looking forward to the prospect of snow (REAL snow that stays) later this week!!!! I mean, it's bad for anyone driving following Thanksgiving -- but I'm excited and ready for it!!! Tomorrow is the last day of the unseasonably warm weather and then Weds the winds will change and bring in snow! 

Anyway, I realized I should maybe give some reassurance that me analyzing HOW I choose my course might cause uncertainty/anxiety that it's born from me reconsidering choices or making choices for my future paths right now in this moment. And I wanted to reassure that it was more self reflection on my how trying to explain it during a calm pause where I'm NOT choosing between fate lines, I'm not pulling myself toward any set of them, I'm just enjoying my life as it is currently constructed and loving the people currently in my life and waiting with excitement/anticipation to see the brightness over the horizon where I can't see it. (But I'll never precog a happy surprise -- because i asked for that because I love the way it feels to be surprised by something really good. I only precog the bad things or the banal quotidian things. Never the things that will light me up with joy that are surprises.) 

Curiously, from right here and now, these recent days ALL my fate lines are lit up bright with how I follow my choices. Every damn one. Literally none of them don't have it glowing somewhere over the horizon into the future into the places even I can't see. That bright glow is just there as a promise in all of them. Like, I suppose maybe if I made choices that truncated my life entirely I wouldn't reach that glow -- but right now EVERY path open to me that I can choose between leads to that brightness. Which is something I haven't seen in my fate lines for a long time, maybe closer to a decade, now.... And maybe that's why I wanted to think about it and analyze it and come to understand how I make my choices -- because right now it's brightly shining down all the fatelines. And shining brighter than it has in YEARS.

I don't know why though. I just know is. And is right now means there's no way in my fate lines open to me NOT to reach that brightness somewhen in the future -- all paths lead there no matter what I choose as long as I live long enough to get from here to there. (and before you get worried, I don't see my death coming toward me any time soon, not even a nexus point where I COULD die -- I just like to be careful in the promises I make to acknowledge what is beyond my control. Including acknowledging all mortal bodies are finite and every new day is a gift you weren't promised you would reach.)   Doesn't tell me HOW to get there, just promises the brightness IS down every fate line open to me I could choose between right now. And it's SOOO very bright right now! Like staring at the horizon over the ocean while the sun is rising and there's no clouds or anything between you and the crack of brilliant light flooding up into everything. It's that intensely bright right now down all the fate lines....

And that's curious and something worth noting. It's something very different from how it's been in recent years.