It has been more than 36 hours since I last had any sun exposure and I slept about 15 hours yesterday to let my body heal the sun poisoning and sunburn damage (only getting up to slather on more aloe vera before going back to sleep.) Despite long spans of time dancing in the downpours and standing in the thunderstorm last night AND many many many reapplications of aloe: I am still lobster red, my upper back (the part I sun burned the worst) is still radiating intense heat, I cannot wear bra straps or carry purses/bags on my shoulders without excruciating pain, even stretching my neck or shrugging my shoulders or lifting things hurts the skin to move across my back/shoulders/neck, I can't lean against chair backs, finding a position for sleeping to not put pressure on the sunburns was difficult making the pain of that pressure what most often woke me up yesterday, and I'm not usually sensory sensitive to tags on clothes but right now just the light pressure scratch of tags against the sunburned skin hurts to drive me batty....

And. Does this sunburn make the list of 10 worst sunburns, or even 25 worst sunburns in my life? No, it probably doesn't even make top 50 or 100..... But by normal people standards, this is a really bad once a decade sunburn.... And I put sunscreen on before brunch and then reapplied sunscreen every time we stopped at the bathroom of Crissy's work as we went around Art Fair -- which was about once every 1-1.5 hours because Crissy tends to have to pee frequently and I was only exposed to the sun for maybe 5-6 hours total and kept to the shade as much as possible.... 

When I was a kid, I used to think I burned until I tanned even though I still burned over the tan. I was in my 20s the first time a doctor told me those were burn scars not tan lines sent me to go get a look over by a dermatologist just in case.... My da and my grandma have both had basal, squamous, and melanomas removed (as well as other members of the family) and while I've had some anomalous looking freckles/moles removed, none have come back malignant. (I currently have a couple that are questionable I should go in about, but the last time I did it cost me $1200 out of pocket for removal and lab testing of the moles AFTER what insurance covered/reduced and because I rarely go in don't need allopathic med prescriptions, I never hit my moop. And it's even more now for biopsy and cancer screening. Do I have every known indicator for skin cancer risks? Yes. Yes I do. 

I have spent much of the summers of my life with my skin burned raw in extreme pain no matter how much sunscreen is put on em and reapplied -- and it definitely affected my feelings toward summer in a very negative way. I love the heat and there's a lot about summers I love, but it's probably my least favorite of all four seasons because invariably it means the pain of second and third degree sunburns just to enjoy an afternoon outside. And I say that EVEN THOUGH I am always cold (I bring cardigans and scarves with me everywhere in the summer because everything under 70 feels the same to me so the air con most places gives me goose bumps) and I love gardening, hiking, horse back riding, swimming, basking in the sun, canoeing/kayaking/boating, and most outdoor activities. I have good summer memories, but also a LOT of my summer memories involve me being in physical pain with my skin like raw meat after sun burning it. Whenever I don't have plans those days, I actually flip my schedule MORE to be awake all the dark hours and sleep during the sunniest parts of the day when I run the greatest risk that anything more than 7.5 minutes of sun exposure will send me into lobster territory.... 

There are sun worshippers and for 7.5 minutes exactly I am one of them because I don't mind the heat, I actually love basking in the heat and humidity like a cat or lizard -- but once those 7.5 minutes of sun exposure get used up and the sun feels like sharp needles jabbing every inch of my skin to let me know the sun burning has started, I have learned that all the more the sun can offer me past those 7.5 minutes is intense pain from lobster burning and potentially skin cancer down the line. Lord help us if I ever need to be put on any medications that cause increased photosensitivity..... 

Honest to God, I probably fell so deeply in love with gazing at the stars to feel I've come home and the austere sparkling beauty of winter despite how intensely I get cold BECAUSE I can always put on extra layers to stay warm but it is the season with the shortest hours and weakest angle of sunlight here in the north and so it is the time of what I am most free from the perilous risk and pain of sun burns if I want to be outside. (And I am always happiest outside, especially with trees or bodies of water or flowers, or when surrounded by music/books/art.) I'd probably love the day and the sun drenched hours/places more if I wasn't so fair skinned and easily sunburned....