O right. I never did get to the epiphany I wanted to share about that I had. I guess I can now, though I should sleep soon. 

What it was was a very simple one. Because. I had said I should sit in non-action because I didn't know how Eric reached me again last August/September. But, that isn't quite what I meant -- because I do know how. Or at least, while I don't know the part of the story that is the exact methodology and step by step of how he figured out or found a spiritual guide to teach him to arrive at it, still I knew the what he must have done to achieve it. Because I knew the block wasn't him per se, I knew that the work around to block him from reaching me via  the bond without blocking the bond that the Morrigan pointed out to me for working smarter not harder was to block the lamprey's energy and anyone who had her energy twined around/through them is blocked from reaching me. I know that's what I did and thus the knot of what had to be either undone or rendered immaterial by detaching all the hooks of her energy into him. And then I also knew the how/what of the reconnection when it would happen from my recurring shamanic spirit dream with the polar bear and the ice and the way we broke through it for him to reach me again. That it would take me genuinely completely giving up on him and turning to walk another path without him AND him realizing he couldn't reach me and fighting trying to claw his way through it AND that it was when he gave up fighting and accepted the weight and the sorrow of the consequences of him being so enthralled by the lamprey and put his hand up to say goodbye and I put mine up in farewell that the power gathered between us spiraling outward between our palms that shattered the ice for him to come barreling through into the cave and rejoin me for the paths we would walk into the future. 

So I've been phrasing the wrong question. It's not that I need to understand HOW he did it to feel I have enough information for me to move from inaction to action, what I need to understand is WHY he did it. The why is the question(s) I want answered before I impulsively act, not just the minutiae of how he managed it. I mean, that interests me as a story of his personal growth experiences and my general curiosity about the techniques of inner spiritual growth tracks and philosophy building. But the part I fail to wrap my head around is WHY he chose to cut out the lamprey's energy and find his way back to reaching me....I don't understand his why that led him to those choices. And that's a missing piece of information I consider very important to me having full enough information to switch from inaction to action. 

Anyway, things are going well here and days are passing too fast. Jack did get promoted up to level 2 on skills at his soccer try out tonight and Mo is moving from Little Kickers to Micro (fun games vs soccer rules/skills development.) So we were at the indoor soccer arenas today and will be on Saturday morning when their new classes are. Tomorrow (today now) we have a fiesta party at Jon's work in the evening. Friday Elliot and I will wear the same shirt my sister ordered us in different kids sizes (it's pink sparkly with an owl and books says, Owl Be Reading.) Monroe doesn't enjoy reading very much, but she is my shadow attached to me at all times and she has stated I am her style icon (nothing like a Leo and a Libra friendship when they're getting along, lol; usually where difficulties occur is the clash between wounded pride in a Leo and a Libra's sense of fairness/justice; and that doesn't end well unless the Leo can learn to swallow their pride to apologize and/or the Libra is willing to compromise justice for harmony) and Monroe said she wished she had one to match shirts with me. So might need to figure that out. Sunday Cath Cath is coming over to steal me for a short adventure while the kids have a birthday party to go to and then she will be here for dinner. No idea what all is going on next week except Jon and the kiddos are off school Juneteenth and so my sister is putting up an out of office and Jon made a lunch reservation for us all somewhere. 

And then Sunday the 23 they will drop me off at the airport either after dinner if everyone takes me or one of them will after the kiddos go to bed and in the wee hours of the early 24 I'll take the Delta red eye to Minneapolis and then a Monday morning flight from Minne back to Madison to get home at like 8 something on the 24

And then once I'm back, my schedule is rather a lot... Not right away, I have Mon/Tues free of anything besides getting work hours in and unpacking and being at home again. But Weds June 26 my grandma has an afternoon podiatry appointment and afterwards I will either be at work with both dogs (til my parents get back from a business meeting in Chi to pickup Sophie) or it's first Concerts on the Square of the year (but I think it's a meh program for the first one.) Then Thurs 27 is off to Spring Green for first APT tickets of the year to see Wolf at the Door in The Touchstone (indoor theatre) with Crissy, Sarah, and Karissa. Then Fri 28 it's off to Milwaukee for Summerfest for the first time in a while to see All-American Rejects. Then Sat 29 in the afternoon is my cousin Sabra's baby shower for her second kid so family time. And then the evening of the 29, since Skylar had emailed me back that there wasn't a place for me at the Wausau stop on the Too Late Tour, the only one I could really make work, I will be going with my parents and Crissy to attend the Edgar Allan Poe Speakeasy interactive theatre and cocktails event that night -- we were all excited about the event and my friends who went at other locations said it's amazing but then nobody was going because I said I didn't have any of the evenings free as it's only in town 27-29 and both the 27 and 28 are definitely unavailable. But once I got the rejection from Eric via Skylar speaking for him, it meant that as long as we didn't go to an earlier start time too close to Sabra's baby shower, we could make happy my inner goth tell tale heart and make the Edgar Allan Poe Speakeasy show happen! (The 10pm show.) And then Sat 30, my mum and I have tickets to see Ben Platt in Milwaukee. And then I have nothing really in my calendar for the first week of July until APT tickets on July 5 (though maybe Concerts on the Square July 3.) 

Stupidly busy right before this visit, stupidly busy afterward.  But I'm so happy and grateful for the unexpected bonus of two weeks woven into the family of my sister, brother-in-law, nephew Jack, niece Monroe, and niece Elliot!!! It pleases me!

Anyway, it got later than I meant to be up tonight, I was going to shower in the morning before breakfast. Though I suppose I can do it after we get back from dropping the kids off while Miche and Jon are working or something. Or put it off another day. On verra. 

But anyway, I'm happy and not super busy but also even my unclaimed time is mostly reading and drinking tea while they're working and interacting when their work schedules are allowing and literally every other moment from 7am til 10:30pm, I don't have alone time except for while reading during the school/work day hours til the walk to the bu stop at 3ish and even then still making/eating lunch with Miche & Jon and also interacting throughout the day when they're not in meetings or heads down working. 

Okay. Lemme finish this tepid chamomile tea, plug in my phone and set morning alarms and then bedtime. G'night and sweet dreams!