The older I get, the better I understand why in college I was targerted to be taken out by the nephilim/dark unincarnated vampiric demonic soul that is what came through when in high school my family was warned, "a window that is safe has been breached" before it burrowed backwards in space/time to lay its feeding networks. Because I always saw this as a private reward life, not one for me to leave any mark in history books or social/political structures -- and yet the things I've been shifting behind the scenes, at a core spiritual level have been world shaking. And every move this nephilim makes to try to destroy me in the present/past, it causes me to find a way to completely change the parameters by making an argument in the name of justice/fairness while staying within the technical rules of unfolding creation and the laws of incarnating versus unincarnating souls but shaking up power structures/paradigms in completely unexpected profound ways. This morning I created another time quake by making a standing supplication to old gods (ones that I personally hadn't previously worked with specifically in my past lives but who are ancient and allies though from different branches of the prismatic pantheons of immortals; apparently they know me and admire my work within the incarnation but having no connections with me waited for me to approach them to ask) and this was such a huge shift that didn't have any time constraints or teleological time constraints (since I tend to exist in the long now and get confused between past/present/future on the sphere of time) that I have no idea how far forward/backward the ripples will go or what major mandela effect shifts I've created this time. I ask one petition to divinities I'd not previously made alliances with and did it in proper spiritual supplication following the old rules of direct contact and the shifts that made are bigger than even I could have imagined.... This is bigger than any of the ripples and past shifts I've caused in the last 15 years by my convincing and asking in the name of justice.... (Let's not talk about the shift I created 15 years ago.... But there are some massive ones I've done in the interim...)

How a chaotic good fey decided "if not me then who" so chose to enter into the cycle of souls to incarnate as a Hand of Ma'at with the gift to shift fate lines in the service of Divine Justice constrained only by a complete unshakeable adherence to the sanctity of free will... And it baffles me WHY this is allowed as a correction for what I chose to step in as an incarnating soul for a while to deal within the rubric of incarnations while fighting those who won't follow the rules....

Also. This powerful nephilim I'm in long multi-life chess battle with is going to be so pissed once it realizes what I just shifted and did.... And I don't know what it will do this time when it gets angry. And given that, it's probably for the best then that I am single and unattached right now so it can't use someone weaker to keep me from doing what must be done for whatever it tries next. because, the best way to get me to backdown from a fight brought to me is the threat to those I love. As long as those I love are safe/protected or don't want me to compromise for anything, then I only "back down" as a strategic setup for a stronger next move.