P. S.  It's also worth me reiterating that I read actions (and inactions) of Eric's as statements about his choices and ethics and answers directly from him about whether he wants to include me or exclude me from his life.  

His choice end of August 2019 not to respond or acknowledge me telling his personal accounts (on both instagram and twitter) that going live on the band's instagram account "to celebrate with all our fans and Kickstarter backers" was an act of exclusionary ostracism and bullying so long as fans are blocked there for having been honest that the country music at shows was going to stop them attending shows, to me that choice he made not to acknowledge it but instead ignore it gaslight the issue was a very strong statement of "I don't care about you or want you in my life" choice of exclusion.  And I have read EVERY instance of EVERY time he has ever gone live on the band's instagram account since then (or every future time he does it) as a reaffirmation that he doesn't want me included in his life.  For me,  his actions/inactions are much louder statements about his ethics,  desires,  and choices than any amount of reaching for me via the bond or in dream space. That's just mixed signalling from his subconscious, his actions shape his actual life are the strongest indicator of his actual choices for his happiness and his life path.  

So if you want to know my current beliefs about his choices for his happiness this life,  I don't think he desires to include me in it nor does he care if any of his actions are immoral or hurtful.  That is what he spent the fall/winter of 2019/20 teaching me and all of 2020 and the first half of 2021 reaffirming for me every week.  

Which means that while I'm happy being single not actively looking to date, I see him as having rejected me chosen not to want me included in his life or as any part of his happiness,  and so if I meet anyone else who I spark with I'll choose to give them a chance.  I'm not passively waiting hopelessly for his choices to change - I'm taking him at his word and action as to his choices for the happiness he seeks for his life. And right now,  his actions over the last two years affirm/reaffirm to me that he doesn't desire to include me in the happiness he chooses for himself and if I desire companionship then I should be seeking other lovers,  not waiting or expecting anything from him.  And that's what it is.  Just because there's a bond between our souls doesn't mean that we have claims on the other person's free will choices or that either of us should accept being treated dishonestly/unfairly/cruelly out of any sort of codependency.  Just like any relationship, we have to choose each other and treat each other with respect not entitlement for there to be anything real or worthwhile between us. That's basic premises for any interpersonal connection, soul bond or no soul bond. 

And that is very much my current assessment of what he has thus far chosen for his happiness in his life. That's why I see it as hopeless for me to reach out to him to ask him if we can please heal and fix this mess between us.  I may want to do it,  but it would be futile given his actions and what they show his choices to be for his life at this time.  I'm single because I'm picky know my own worth and don't wish to waste my finite time/energy on relationships my heart isn't in - not for lack of opportunities or because I'm turning other men down waiting for Eric. I'm not single for his sake.  I'm single because I'm an introvert so I don't get lonely and I'm happier alone than wasting time in energetically draining mediocre/bad company. 

He's free to choose me if that's what he wants - but based on his past choices in recent years,  I'm not holding my breath expecting he will.  I'd be a complete fool in denial of reality if I was.... And I may be a hopeless romantic eternal optimist about the possibilities of the future,  but I'm always a stoic realist refusing to lie to myself or others about the realities of the past/present.