The reason I won't teach or further the spiritual gifts if I peek ahead and see the student would use it to make money from it isn't a blanket statement against making money where you can when you're in a bind. I understand that sometimes people need to make ends meet and they need to fall back on whatever skills and connections they have. HOWEVER, I strongly believe that the use of spiritual gifts to further dharma needs of any given life is inherently corrupting and I won't be party to that. As soon as you are accepting money karma or seeking to aggregate power or prestige with your gifts, you are losing sight of what should be the primary goals of your gifts: healing the broken, protecting the good/beautiful, and assisting in the unfolding of Creation in positive ways.  Not to make you think I'm Christian when I'm quite vehemently not (I still deny the Christian Trinity concept, the transferral of sin from the soul that committed the wrong to another spirit to bear it as a just form of atonement, and the concepts of predestination and eternal hell being something an omniscient omnipotent eutheistic Creator would ever create or perpetuate) but I'm gonna paraphrase Jesus: "You cannot serve two masters" and if you are using your gifts for corporeal profit than you're losing sight of the greater good you ought to use it for since you are using it to seek out money/power/prestige. 

Now i DO have past students from past lives who have used the gifts that I have helped them cultivate in the pursuit of money or prestige or in selfish ends like revenge in further future lives than the one i checked when they asked me to teach them.  That does happen. And it always makes me so disappointed in them... But also, once I know, it means that The Goddess will remove them from those who serve Her and will cut off all gifts that come from Her/my teaching/nurturing and I will be forbidden from bringing them back to the Goddess or helping them with their gifts until they have expiated the wrongs they committed in Her eyes (not in mine -- She always tells me I'm too forgiving.)  That person who abuses their Goddess given gifts and the training they received from me in pursuing selfish ends will no longer serve Her and I will no longer be available as a spiritual teacher for them moving forward once they deny me three times. Those aren't my rules, they're the Divine rules. You might find another path back to Her and even get her to approve learning from me again in a future life -- but it can't and won't be through ANY act of intercession from me. You'll have to do all the hard work yourself if you make that choice... 

But anyway, i have that standard because i truly believe that you can either serve the Ego's selfish ends or you can be serving the healing/protection/unfolding of the Universe with your gifts but if you try to serve both they will invariably come into conflict and you'll always be tempted to rationalize choosing the Ego and the selfish over what is for the good of others as long as you are incarnated in a physical form that has physical needs.  And the only way I know not to corrupt your gifts is never to set up that tension in the first place by misusing your gifts as a means of intentionally earning things that please the Ego or take care of corporeal personal needs. If you want to strengthen your gifts to make money from other people by using them or to make others fear/respect/admire you, then I'm not the teacher for you.  not because i can't train your gifts, but because i refuse to train your gifts to be used for those ends.

That's not judgement on how you choose to use your gifts, they're your gifts to carve out the karmic lives paths you choose for yourself. It's about my personal code of ethics and what I will/won't be a knowing accomplice to when I know that i should know better.

Now, I have successfully picked up both pairs of my glasses they texted me are ready and then caught up on the two Lightworker Tarot and Oracle vids for April that are of interest to me but weren't up yet on Weds last I checked (Capricorn and Pisces)  while giving the dog an hour long grooming (didn't get everything, but it hurts her so bad that I never do -- she'll be so happy for her summer cut shearing in a month or so!) And then I gave her an excessive amount of treats to make up for how much it hurts, even with the detangler spray, to work out the mats/knots in her hair when it's long.  So time to head home now and take her on a lengthy afternoon/evening walk while the weather is so nice. And then home to make dinner and finish the book I'm reading. 

 I haven't decided yet if I'm going to head to bed early and then work on my real writing in the middle of the night  when I wake up or write after dinner then bed then write some more in the morning. (I have a hard time working on my real writing when my emotions are painfully entangled -- about all I can write is poetry. because I write poetry to help me crystallize into a concrete frozen form the tumult and storm of my intense emotions -- so I only write poetry when I'm going through shit trying to wrap my head around my intense emotions.  In my real writing, the precisely right words just flow out of me and my first drafts rarely need much editing when i write in that state. (Downfall is that the way my brain works, I sometimes get so excited about new ideas I have that need to be written that I don't finish up the ones I'm already in the middle of because I've internally "read" them know how they go and nobody is hounding me for more chapters and/or a finished project. I know how my brain works and I need others invested in what they don't yet have.  I'm much better at the writing than at the push to publish or promote aspects of it, tbh.)  But anyway, these last couple years of me wrestling with coming to terms with my sense of deep loss and mourning forcing myself to accept other people's choices and the letting go they require of me meant that in these years my real writing of putting deep truths into fictions where it can't be twisted by future disciples has been languishing. And the last six months, the Universe has been kicking my ass pretty hard about how I NEED to get back to my real work. And right now there are several short story submissions coming due in the next 2 to 6 weeks that are geared for me and I know I can win if I just sit down and write the short stories. And having more recent publications/prize wins will help for getting publishers to even look at the novels. (I have been rejected frequently from magazines for my submissions being "too well written for our target audience" and my favorite rejection letter which i received in college was, "This is beautifully written but it reads too much like Dostoevsky or Hugo for our readership. You should dumb down your writing if you want it to be commercial for a post-modern audience" BUT thus far, every short story submission I have ever written for a specific contest I have won and gotten paid for. And I could use the money. (Artistic talents are meant to be used for meeting your physical needs in a given life -- it's only spiritual gifts I don't believe in tapping to make money. I actually won't even allow me to pick the numbers or choose which of multiple cards for myself for lottery tickets/scratch off contests, I make them do auto picks to hand it over to random chance as much as possible to be certain I don't accidentally precog use my gifts in mercenary ways.)

The problem right now is the one that is coming up with the soonest deadline and has the most prize money only accepts one short story submission from any author and I have two short stories I wish to write for the criteria of it: the one that I know would win and the one that I really want to write (which is a bit of a prequel in that future path timeline but about someone else entirely; and also I could stretch that story idea out longer into a publishable novel if I'm honest.)  I'm leaning toward allowing myself to write both as best I can (because whichever one I don't submit for this I can have ready to submit for other contests it will work for and if they don't accept/publish either than I can submit them elsewhere as long as they're not concurrent) and then giving friends/family I trust the criteria and both stories and having them help me decide which they prefer for this particular submission. So I've been letting both of them sit in my brain these last couple weeks while the characters surface into full personhood and the situations/plots solidify in my mind so that once I sit down to write I can just write the story in one sitting. But we're getting to the point it's weighing on me that  I just need to write them with enough time to revise and choose between them and then submit before it's suddenly April 16 and I fucking lost track of time again and never submitted them and now i can't, lol.  

But like, those are personal/artistic problems of mine that you're probably not all that interested in.  They're not particularly scandalous or drama filled or eldritch wyrd -- just trying to align different facets of my nature to make sure I actually get this done before I miss my window of opportunity so I can't. And then onto the next of the three i currently have my eyes on writing short stories for -- which I haven't even started working on other than the subconscious reading of the submission criteria/prompts and realizing, "Yeah, this is in my wheelhouse if I just sit down and do it before it's suddenly the day after it was due." But the last one, I can submit up to 3 to them which is way more fun! mostly because they will be fun to write as the theme is creating a sense of dread/horror around concepts of identity/security/community BUT they are a hard no on anything graphic. And psychological horror uncanny is definitely one of my writing comfort zones and having published material within that genre will be useful to be considered by agents/publishers for at least one of my current future dystopia novels in progress. 

P. S.  In my facebook account I turned off "show up first in newsfeed" for Delta Rae in October 2018 and I turned off all notifications for them end of August 2019 after the death of my hope that maybe now they were indie they'd clean up the ostracism that happened under Big Machine.  And yet every time they go live or post things there  they're like in the top handful of me scrolling down my newsfeed, usually right below an ad that hasn't fully loaded so the post moves on me as I try to scroll. And I'm just like,  "thanks but I saw it was trying not to let me look at it."  Also they intermittently still show up in my notifications (most recently the b&w pic with the line "somewhere in the desert  she's singing") and I don't know why the algorithms keep doing this to me given my settings and lack of interactions with their page or any posts there...  It's improbable and illogical and I don't know why it's doing it given it's not set to do it.