Also. On top of the ethical issues I have surrounding the bigotry/anti-Semitism I've witnessed and experienced in the south, my loathing of "bless your heart" hypocritical Evangelicals, AND the issues surrounding me being able to eat without accidental pork poisoning causing me to vomit uncontrollably for days.... I also have the color-synesthesia issues surrounding country twang causing me physical and uncontrollable nerve pain.... Between the nerve pain chronic flinching from the music and the pork poisoning issues from my food allergy, I genuinely cannot think of even one good experience I have had at a southern style restaurant OR a country-western themed bar OR at a country vocalist's performance (be it in person or filmed)....  And this definitely is part of my active dislike of the cuisine as a whole as opposed to general cautiousness that some other "commonly has sneaky pork" cuisines approach.

I genuinely don't have a single pleasant memory associated with southern style food between these two sources of physical pain to me. Between constant involuntary nerve pain and  the potential of days of vomiting up even water, there's nothing about a country music playing southern style restaurant that is enjoyable for me at any level.

And you need to understand that it's not hyperbole when I tell you that due to my synesthesia, country twanging vocals cause me excruciating PHYSICAL pain. Genuine physical nerve pain that causes uncontrollable flinching and nerve twitches like being whipped or tased or electrocuted... 

I literally want NOTHING to do with country music or anyone involved in the country music scene (EVEN IF there are a handful of people within the industry finally starting to take a stand on lgbtq issues, their vocals still inflict physical pain on me and so I cannot support them as artists.)  I have no desire to even listen to the songs to find out if there's anything redeeming in the lyrics or the instrumentation because the vocals with the offkey slide in the twang causes me too much physical pain to even analyze what the lyrics are saying.  

And, genuinely, I want nothing to do with ANYONE who wishes to take part in the country music scene whatsoever. That has been true my entire life and is never going to change. I don't go in for being complicit in sado-masochist torture of me and anyone who insists that I accept it because they like it doesn't need to be in my life. Sure you can eat pork if you want -- but you can't kiss me after you do because it makes me physically ill. Sure you can listen to country music -- but not in my presence or in a scenario that requires I also listen to it because the act of playing it around me will cause me physical pain....

And so you can have country music and country artists and the entire country music scene in your life -- but if you do then I need you to know that you can't have me in your life or have me be involved in any part of your life that the country music scene touches. Full stop. 

I'm literally considering changing my dentist who I've been going to since I was a small child and my particular dentist I've had since I was 13 year's old over the decision of a new manager to play country music on the day of one of my visits and refusal to change to anything else after I brought the issue up with the front desk, instead telling me that they could turn it off in the back rooms during my actual appointment so I had to physically LEAVE the building and make them come out to my car to get me once they were actually ready for me. If I go again and they're playing country music and won't turn it off, I shall cancel my appointment on the spot and go find another dentist office.

It's that straightforward. It doesn't matter who you are or any past connections between us, you have no rights to knowingly cause me physical pain and I refuse to allow you to have a place in my life if you insist you should have a right to cause me physical pain or illness. Because by asking me to give you that permission, you are asking me to condone an abusive relationship where you knowingly cause me physical pain whenever you damn well please. And I won't be any part of that. This is not negotiable.

And also. There is no response other than "I'm sorry, I didn't know and I won't do it again" from somebody telling you that you did something that hurt them or caused them pain. ANYTHING else, any defensiveness or ostracism over your choices/likes/desires, that doesn't involve acknowledging the pain you caused someone else and promising not to knowingly continue doing it is bullying and abusive behavior patterns. It just is. It's no different than feeding your friend who has a food allergy something made with an ingredient you know they will react to or intentionally inviting an epileptic fried where you are using strobe lights without warning because you like them after a friend tells you they're epileptic so strobe lights cause them to have seizures. The person with a physical condition can't do anything about the way their neurology/endocrine system reacts to specific symptoms -- but you can decide not to do things they have told you cause them physical distress. Just because you can eat peanut butter doesn't mean that someone else telling you they're allergic so it will cause them anaphylaxis isn't their truth EVEN IF you've never seen it because they assiduously avoid peanuts. Your subjective experiences of life are not a measure you can use for someone else's objective physical responses to the same stimuli. It never has been and never will be. If you don't make the choice to respect someone telling you that specific actions of yours caused them physical distress, then you are engaging in acts of intentional cruelty with full knowledge you are doing it. And since you're the one who has a choice in the matter, then YOU are the cruel and abusive bully, no matter how you defensively try to justify your actions, if you react in anyway other than an apology and future warnings if you are told that something you choose to do causes someone else physical pain... 

This is a hard line in the sand red flag judgement on your character if you can't or won't respect someone else's physical pain beyond their control state of existence -- especially after they have told you about it. You're allowed to be ignorant -- until you've been told by the person your actions causes physical distress or pain. After that, it's intentional cruelty on your part if you persist in it. It's really not that hard to accept and respect when somebody tells you "when you do x, it causes me pain because of y" and anything other than acknowledgement and an attempt not to repeat causing someone pain is the entitlement and cruelty of a bully and an abuser.