Honestly, my favorite thing about having the bond so quiet with the sealed door is that the bond no longer burns on Wednesday nights from his betrayal of it by intentionally acting in bullying cruel ways when he should know better. The burning and pain of that choice of his no longer hurts me, no longer touches me. I don't feel anything from him now on Wednesday nights. Which is a relief.

I really don't hear or feel anything from him at all anymore since I agreed to allow the raven deities to seal him from me in the prison of his own making until he chooses to leave the dynamic that makes him a source of pain and hurt to me by allowing someone (anyone really) to control his actions and to use him as a means of hurting me by the ways they control him and his behaviors. 

Sometimes I can hear him via the bond, when he's sad and deeply hurting over not being able to reach me or hear from me the way he always has. But only when it's a soul deep hurting, soul deep pain. That reaches me -- usually late at night or early morning.  And when he finds his way to transcend his ego and all the over-thinking and everyone else's choices/agendas to the place where there's only and solely love in him reaching out. That reaches me too -- but he's not been particularly good at that sort of setting aside his ego to be in a place of only love since before the recurring vision dream first occurred that made me change the rules. He's probably not done it more than a handful of times in the last six months.

The thing with it though is that the few ways his emotions can reach me, he still receives back no reactions, no feedback from me. Normally, if one of us reaches along the bond, there's an immediate reaction/response from the other soul -- there isn't now. Even when what little we can bridge across is coming from the most pure of emotions and highest love, it still doesn't elicit the response we're used to. No more than i get from him when I choose to send him love from a place of no-ego.  It's like it just disappears into a black hole and nothing comes back. We also can't connect in dream space while the door is sealed. I have had no dreams of him since I chose to exit and seal that door and wait on the other side of it -- and if he's had dreams with me in it, it is his ideas of me not the reality of me. It's not like having shared dream space where it FEELS real and the other soul is THERE in that shared space with you.  It's only him and his imagination now -- I am no part of it. And I won't be for as long as that door is sealed. And it will remain sealed for as long as either of us chooses to allow ourselves to be used and manipulated to be a source of pain to hurt the other one. 

I suppose, even if he were to solve the mess on his end and to right the wrongs there and fix things and choose not to allow himself to knowingly be used as a source of pain or hurt or cruelty, even then the door might not open if I were to choose a path where I allowed others to use me to knowingly hurt him.... I don't know why I'd choose that. but it's possible. The way I phrased it was that neither of us could be choosing that for the door to unlock and change so it can be opened.... 

This is different from when the fairfolk blocked the bond so that I'd stop getting overlays from his strong emotions while he was dating someone else. That time, all that had to be done to remove the block was for there to be a meeting with the polar bears and me choosing to trust the polar bear and let him hold me again. This time, I set an actual geas as the lock. It can't ever be opened until the geas is met. And the raven deities like to use geas as lock and as key to opening a lock. It's a bit unusual for them to allow me to have set the terms of the geas, but given their relationship to me it's not surprising and it's not unheard of.  They just delight in setting their own geas and riddles on things. I wouldn't want to make any of the raven deities my enemies, tbh. nor do you want to make enemies of those the raven deities befriend. They're even more merciless with far longer memories than the Hawk God....which says a lot!

But the rules of it are different now to open the door. Because the raven deities said that once opened they could not reseal the door they had made for me -- and so I must be very certain in the rules of its sealing. The rules are changed this time, and they're changed because of the choice I made just a couple weeks ago.

(I do shift the rules quite a lot actually, I find the unexpected out from the old rules to open a different path by choosing to change the rules ever so slightly. Often it's the only way to find a way out, is to look for the answer in the rules that don't break the important ethics but still change things drastically by what you shift. Finding the small pebble that forces the change in the stream's direction that averts or causes the flood downstream. A lot of times it happens because I get angry over injustice, over unfairness, and that's what makes me find the way to change the rules and make a whole new set of possibilities open up (or close) to force change. I also often change the rules by removing the power of those who have held it and leaving the choices to be made in the hands of the other party or parties affected by whatever choice is made.... I will often use my own choice to disempower me from affecting the choices that need to be made so that other people are forced to choose, to rise or fail by their choices rather than by me forcing my desires on the situation. I will also change the rules by taking an active part in the fight, doing things that nobody else would think possible, but that usually ends in short lives of defiance for me. the key to me living longer lives is always for me to use my gifts to consciously choose to disempower me of temporal powers and remove me from those who make the society changing choices.but what I do is change the rules in ways nobody else sees or expects but still are constrained by the important ethical laws -- that's what I do in all my incarnations. The great changes that come on dove's wings.  Been doing it for millennia - it's part of why I chose to incarnate all those lifetimes ago and why I'm allowed the strong gifts and allies I've got. Because I'm here as an agent of the changes only an incarnated soul can make and the interventions only they can ask for from the unincarnated for those who observe the rules about the cycle of souls to act to help cleanse out those unincarnated who intentionally and knowingly break the rules and safeguards. I am here as a spark of chaotic good in the mix to shift things at the most important time to land into better fate lines with futures that don't deadend. We're still on the stepping stone path i found and created about 15 years ago to force mankind to choose to change and to take care of the planet and all life on it before this planet is killed by greed and selfishness and refusal to acknowledge one's guilt and change.)

And the rules are changed -- there is no way I know of to reopen that door until the conditions I set are met: until he frees himself and refuses to allow himself to be manipulated as the means to cause me pain.  Corvids can only be bribed by those they trust and cannot be bribed to hurt those they care about.  If you try to approach the door that I/they sealed without meeting the conditions, they will attack. Have you ever seen a pissed off raven? They go for the eyes....  He will have to meet the required test set before either he or I will be able to unseal the door. It's in his hands now, not mine. There is literally nothing I can do as long as the door remains sealed and guarded by the raven deities -- and as far as I know, it can't be unsealed until the geas I spoke is met and lifted. *shrugs* And if he doesn't, then the way the bond was, the way it's always been, over all these lifetimes, can't be returned to what it was. I left it in his hands -- because I can't change soul contracts he willingly enters or karmic lessons he is stuck in. All I could do was set him free to follow his own choices and to remove me from a situation where he was knowingly taking part in a toxic dynamic that caused him hurt and hurt me for the damage it does to him. Even if I thought it would be a good idea to allow it to be opened without him learning that lesson and making that choice, now that i set the change in motion, I can't undo what I've done. I can't open that door without the condition being met any more than he can.... 

I set a geas in the hands of the raven deities, those who deal in life and death and rebirth and transformations and fate, who sealed and guard that door I used to extricate myself from the dynamic that was not of my doing and involved karmic bonds that are not mine to break.  It's no longer just a matter of me saying that this is broken and poisoning everything and needs to be fixed before there can be healing or building on solid foundations. it's now out of my hands and in his hands to be judged by infinite immortals who will hold my soul and his soul to this geas across lifetimes if he doesn't choose to face this and fix it in this life.

But. All that said. It's nice not to have to tense up every Wednesday night in expectation to feel the  burning poison down the bond of his choices and his "it doesn't matter, it can't be doing that much damage" rationalizing for his intentional repeated acts of cruelty and him actively participating in the bullying and taking part in the system of ostracism and injustice created in the entire band's name.  Yeah, it really does that much damage to the bond every time he does it -- it has for every week of the last year as well as random points since October 2018. And yes it really does corrupt his soul that much and cause damage and  harm to ones soul to knowingly willfully choose to be complicit in systems of injustice rather than fighting and righting them. 

But that's no longer my problem -- not since that door the raven deities created was sealed and the bond ceased to have the strength it has had across lifetimes. It's very nice to have the bond purged out of all ability to hurt me, to have everything in it of everything lower vibration and ego-driven intentional or accidental cruelty removed.

P.S. The Patreon video by Bronx for Soulmate/Twin Flame energies in March is all about a Leo's interference causing a separation despite the matched pairs of swords (air signs) and cups (water) and the importance of boundaries without defensiveness and coming from a place of love rather than controlling.  but to expect the separation to continue until the petty mind games of the interference is removed.