I did the proper and posted about my Kickstarter coming in and getting The Light early. Everyone deserves what light in the current darkness they can find, everyone. And I'll not be stingy with what love and light I have to offer. Everything I wrote was completely true and unless you know me real well or you know to read between the lines of what it's lacking, it reads all positive. I even postscripted that people should pre-order the album if they didn't get in on the Kickstarter because I 100% guarantee they will have 0 regrets about the new music in their life. I also did a second post about my realization that my beer I'm drinking tonight is "the Absence of Light" and I bought it in St. Louis right before the Delta Rae show on June 23 and how ironic that is to have opened The Absence of Light to drink right before opening my copy of The Light.  I stand by all I said.

If you know me incredibly well, you'll notice that I didn't say I loved it, even admitted I hadn't listened to it yet, and I refused to make any comment on any of the members of the band being great people or how proud I am of them. I can't in good faith say they're good people in light of Britt's behavior and the band standing behind it in blocking me on Instagram, continuing to do so without ever once addressing it with me, and them once again using Instagram for exclusive content in their live listening party on Friday WHILE still having fans blocked for having been honest with them that the country music at shows was going to stop those fans from attending shows.

I'm a Libra sun with a Capricorn moon -- I'm fucking just to the core and I'll do as right by you as I can, but I will not lie for you and I will not cover up or excuse any injustices you are guilty of  creating and/or perpetrating.  It doesn't matter how badly you hurt me and it doesn't matter how deeply I have loved you in the past. I will still fall on the sword and the balance of Justice in all things. If you want better than you're getting from me, you have to behave ethically so as to deserve better from me.  No amount of my Pisces rising compassion will stop me from bleeding out what needs to die in the name of justice if you are doing wrong. I will not save you and you will not get a pass from me unless you face the wrongs you are guilty of and do right by them.

That's who and what I am this life. I'm an empath with intensely strong gifts and a Chaotic Good and I'm a Gryffindor and I am Arya Stark born into a family with better fatelines -- and I am a Libra sun with a Capricorn moon and Pisces rising. I always know if it's killing you inside and I feel it inside me as if it's cutting me into pieces, but I'll not lift a finger to help you if that hurting is caused by a cruelty or injustice you created and/or perpetuate.

If you want a different ending, then you best play a different hand than one of partaking in and perpetuating and excusing ANY form of injustice or ostracism or bullying.

I did the proper because it's the right thing to do. It changes nothing. I still have not listened to The Light (publicly I begged off with so many live streams from so many Irish bands tonight since they're in quarantine not playing gigs -- and it's true, I'm STILL not through all the hours of them I have backlogged on facebook live from tonight) and I don't intend to listen to it for a very long time. Not until I can give it a fair listen, without any upsets to my emotional equilibrium by any of the actions chosen by people involved in it. So I don't know when it will be I'll let me listen to it if I'm honest. I'll have it, but I don't intend to listen to it as a result of what Britt and Jessie created and set in motion on Oct 27, 2018. (Britt set it all in motion on her personal account the night before by blocking me for the same honesty. But personal is just a declaration of personal boundaries stating she does not want me having anything to do with her personal life. No wrongs were committed until the ostracism occurred on the official band account at which point THE BAND became guilty of creating and perpetuating a system of injustice in the name of the entire band.)

And, I still intend to keep the precise letter of my promise to myself that I will see this through til the release of The Light on 3/20 -- but with no change on the grievous wrong they've done and are intending to perpetuate, the MOMENT they go live on their Instagram account under a system of ostracism over fans who have been honest is the moment I will go ahead and unfollow every member of the band on Instagram, unfollow the band and every account associated with it on twitter, and set the band's facebook page to not show updates first and not send me notifications over posts but leaving it liked out of proper deference for a band whose people I can no longer respect but whose music I have loved.

That's the level of serious I am about just how ethically wrong this behavior is and has been (and would be from ANY official band account) since Oct 28, 2018.  Nearly 17 months and clear communication from me about it is enough. I am not going to message anyone further about the reasons that Instagram live party puts them morally in the wrong side of justice and makes them bullies via ostracism and cowards for never addressing or dealing with it. I tried enough. I'm done telling them directly why they're in the wrong because I'm sick of being ignored and gaslit over it. They have had plenty of opportunities to deal with it, both individually and collectively and they have chosen not to. So I'm done with telling them how deeply they're on the wrong side of ethics as a result of these actions and choices. Once we're past the official release of The Light on 3/20, I am free of my self-imposed rules of giving them more chances than they deserve to fix this. And I intend to use their next proof that they stand behind their past wrongs and see nothing wrong with being bullies via ostracism as my moment to cut the cords I still have kept to them and lines of communication I have kept open with them. That is my intention, I have told you since August when Eric went live on the band's instagram account even after my very public responses about why that is unfair on facebook, on twitter to the band, and on twitter to him personally. I have not been convinced even the slightest that this is in any way an unjust set of reactions from me given their failure to even respond at any point to this very real ethical wrong they are guilty of.

3/20 will be when I sever the ties. And if you want to see if I'm bluffing, go forward as if I have not said what I have said. But I promise you I am not bluffing and I am done with benefit of the doubt chances to prove me wrong. After the album is officially released, there will be nothing standing between you and the just consequences of your own choices and actions....

Test me because you think I'm bluffing, and I will skewer you through the heart and leave you to die and not feel bad about it because it's what you chose by your actions.

I would do the same to myself if I found myself guilty of this sort of behavior and I did nothing to make it right but only continued to perpetuate this form of bullying.

~*~*~*~*~*~

In other news, Tarot by Bronx, once again she was right on the money with her March Libra reading. Dayumn!!!!

I'm going to go water all my 100+ plants at work now. (yes I know it's nearly 2am -- but to best self-quarantine after having been in Kirkland first so long right when it was brought into the nursing home by someone and so many people died and thus there's a chance I may be an asymptomatic carrier and we have people at work who are diabetic and pre-diabetic, I'm currently working from about 8pm or 9pm until sunrise.  I also haven't seen my grandmother who I normally assist to run errands and go to appointments since before I flew out to visit my sister Miche and her family.....)

And after I'm done watering all my plants, I'm going to have some Greek yogurt with grapefruit marmalade and a big glass of POM juice for late night snack and rewatch Dave's livestream from today. Well, Dave and Scott Mulvahill, because Scott knocked on his door part way through (Dave lives at Scott's house) so he could join the fun. Scott is a darling -- bit too Christian for my tastes, but a darling.

And honestly, everything about that today made my heart so very very happy!!!!! Including how intensely happy and in a good inner place Dave currently is. (Yeah, I have been dming him and making it clearer to him where my heart is when it comes to him and how deeply I've grown to care about him. I won't say that's why, but I can't in good faith tell you it has nothing to do with it....)