*sigh* Still, I miss the freedom from restraints on my conscience of being the air sign I've spent more lives in.... I KNOW i'm generally a Gemini in warrioress lives, a Libra in reward lives, and an Aquarius in punishment/lessons to be learned lives and a high priestess of The Goddess in all lives..... But I've gotten comfortable in battle mode after so many lives in it, damnit!
Still. Actually responding with clarity and honesty (and the receipts from July) to Delta Rae's facebook post about that email of Britt's and how to get on the rideordiehard list was the mature and just thing to do in case it was a mistake they choose to acknowledge/fix. In case it genuinely was an accident/mistake, they deserve to be given full honesty and a chance if they choose to right this....
Ah well. At least I can live with my conscience now, even if tapping that out on my phone took ages....
I don't expect any response, but it was the right thing to do to at least give them one final opportunity of addressing it and fixing it....
But I genuinely expect it will get ignored, if not just deleted by someone on admin on their facebook page. Still, my conscience and karma is clear, the ball is in their court, and whatever they do I'll accept as their choice and a true reflection of their authentic character - and thus they shall receive their karma they call down upon themselves by their actions and choices.
P. S. And yes, I saw that Eric immediately shared the band post from the official band account I was blocked from for being honest the country music caused me enough pain I wouldn't go to any further Delta Rae shows while it was an issue. I can tell because his name has the red circle of an unwatched story but clicking on it or going to his account there's none for me to click on or watch. It's the same way he's been a bully before with blatant ostracism as a result of the unjust system of ostracism created on the official account.
Funny thing? Today, it doesn't make me feel anything anymore. No anger, no hurt, no disappointment....just acceptance that's his choice.
Curiously, the strongest emotion it evokes in me is love for David and how genuinely good and caring he is. Because see, there's a fan in Crew who befriends other Crew members then blocks them without warning or explanation. And it's wreaked emotional and mental health and rejection issue havoc in the community of people hurt who don't understand what they did wrong. I talked to Ash about it privately back in June of 2018, explained why it was hurtful caused mental health damage and she fixed it, said she understood, wouldn't do it again. Then she saw how Dave is toward me, put together puzzle pieces of his song lyrics and even though he was dating Diana so I was staying elusively distant from him, Ash got jealous. Then last January, there was a kerfuffle of Dave promising a live feed then it ending up on her account (not his) and her ostracism within Crew coming to light. (Martin, Dave's brother, knew about Ash's behavior from email/texts with me AND all the boys had seen her venomous jealous animosity toward me in person two nights before - most angry I'd ever seen Dave til Diana chose to be cruel to me in front of him due to her jealousy in Milwaukee. (but legit, Di flew in JUST to see him that day, was standing sidestage after joining fiddle for a song and he STILL was hungrily watching my reactions ignoring Diana directly behind him for the entirety of the super sweet slow dance of two huge fans of the band to Marry Me Monday followed by onstage proposal - so I don't blame Diana acting out of jealousy as she did Sunday night seeing me talking to him when he stopped me to say goodbye. I did nothing wrong besides existing and him falling in love with me at first sight getting awkward anxious tongue tied forgetting lyrics for nine years now - starting five years before he ever met Di and they had drunk rebound sex in Dayton and she fought tooth and claw with every Scorpio trick in the book to make him love her - but I don't blame her reactions that night, I understand them, even if they were unjustly rude and his final straw why he broke up with her....) Anyway, back to Ash. She left Crew when told the band wouldn't tolerate that behavior as it directly contradicted everything they stood for. But after the breakup with Di, she asked to come back due to her obsessive teenybopper jealousy driven crush on Dave but has had people blocked since returning in October despite claiming she wouldn't. I didn't know, I was blocked. She's trying to build a graphic design/marketing/photog portfolio as she wants to move to Nashville get involved in the industry... So the band gave her a trial press pass and tried to share her photos for her at which point I told Dave privately she had lied to them still had Crew members blocked and was thus putting him in the unfair position of ostracizing/excluding fans he never would. He sent me a heart emoji just said Thank you!, unshared the story and within 10 hours she magically unblocked everyone on insta/fb she'd blocked in Crew....)
And that's why Eric engaging in relational bullying this morning by sharing that band account post (I presume) made me love Dave even more and think how good and lovingly genuinely kind he is. Because of the contrast in how they behaved when told of girl drama bullying they were accidentally dragged into.
Like I said, Dave is playing his hands perfectly showing such goodness in his soul I can't help loving him for it. And Eric is fucking up his own hands right alongside his sister's continuous sabotaging of him. My love of Dave is something he earned through constantly reaffirmed choices and actions. as is my letting go of any ties to Eric indifference toward him due to his choices and the manipulative games the Hölljes siblings have been playing over the last more than a year....
You can't say I've been anything but transparently honest and unfailingly empathetic but just in how we ended up on this karmic fateline. Everyone has earned the karma that has brought us to this place.....
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