I'm so tired of constant migraines and having to be careful standing up or especially after I've been laying to sleep. Like, it's only been 3 maybe 4 days, but it's meant sleeping a lot of those days away.... I know that both are a constant Sword of Damocles over my head between the migraine triggers and my history of syncope with low blood pressure as the only testable cause (but probably undiagnosed Ehlers Danlos related given my hyper mobile joints and easy bruising and known since middle school that most of my joints have half to 2/3 the amount of cartilage they should) but between the electrical storm type of the recent solar flares AND the air quality from the wildfires in Manitoba having all of Wisconsin under air quality warnings (even during the cold front bringing tons of rain and potential bad weather and adding barometric pressure related migraine trigger into the mix) I haven't been without at least a low grade migraine since Fri --Mon and even parts of Tues were so bad that I didn't trust trying to stand based on how bad trying to sit up to get out of bed was.... Air quality is even worse today than Tues (I did go into work for a bit in the evening to get the deposit done and water my seedlings/planter flowers I haven't put in yet) but I haven't gone outside yet today, I'm hoping it will improve (it's been in the 160-180 range for <2.5m all day and others in the yellow) but I really don't know...it takes hours for the sun to get high enough in the sky for it not to all be hazy like cloudy/foggy and for the sun to burn through make shadows. Inside, I have the windows closed and all the air purifiers running full tilt and they claim less than 04 in my condo.... But still I find I keep yawning and have migraine headaches whenever I stand up or go to do something or even turn/move my head too quickly. (My migraines are always movement and light sensitive, but never sound sensitive ; sometimes when they are their worst and all I can do to avoid the shrapnel mobile exploding within my brain is that I can lay as still as possible in a dark room with a sleep mask on so there's no light at all, at those times music is the only thing that helps and gets me through it. Those aren't often, but I know if I don't baby the early warning signs, they do get that bad sometimes.). Before the air quality deteriorated due to the smoke descending from upper atmosphere to surface level, I had aspirations for today of trying to meet my parents for lunch outside with the dogs and then to spend the afternoon getting my plants in the dirt now the risk of hail/tornadoes/strong winds have left with yesterday's storms -- but the air quality ain't improving enough for me to trust that if I were to try to do something outdoors, even just planting and watering the newly planted seedlings, I would t end up with a migraine so bad as to render me nonfunctional for extended hours/days. And I'd rather be semi functional with mild constant migraine from the air quality exposure of the wildfires then render myself useless for 14-30 hours of me sleeping to heal not getting up til I can do so without the movement inducing pain. Maybe once the air quality is back down below 50 I can get those plants in...or I'll just deal with it then suffer afterward. Hopefully air quality will improve sooner rather than later though!

When I was a kid, my da used to say my body just doesn't handle pollutants well that it's like trying to transplant a wild forest tree into a city (and the things that cause me migraines or syncope spells are all things that cause cancer for everyone from long term exposure, I'm just a canary in the coalmine reaction to it before those levels) but it's not an ideal thing for trying to survive the modern world and global climate collapse and the next big apocalypse which some say will be fire since the last was water -- but I think it's more air than water. But both are accurate and technically the last was earth as much as water.... But anyway, my body reacts so negatively and I wilt like a dying flower when exposed to chemicals and pollutants that it makes it easy to believe in changelings even if you set aside all my wyrdness and gifts. My mum used to say she always knew nobody had exchanged me in the hospital mixed me up for another baby because being born in Jerusalem I was the only one in it with pale skin blond hair and blue eyes and she was shocked when I told her very seriously as a small child, "It's not a hospital mixup you should have worried about, but a fair folk changeling exchange. Fair folk always go for the fair skinned gold haired blue eyed changelings." And she finally just said to me, "Dani, the people under the hill aren't in the desert, their legends are in the UK and France." And I just shook my head told her, "No, they don't LIKE the desert so well as the lush green forests and so the Seelie and those who exchange changelings are mostly in lushly wooded lands of greenery and flowers, but they have their exiles and the fair folk are everywhere especially wherever the let lines and earth powers are strong. That's why the desert people have stories of djinn. And a good changeling exchange can go far to help you regain your place at court."

I don't think I'm ACTUALLY a changeling fairy child, I'm sure it's just a combination of genetics, but it's rather curious given all my wyrd, and nobody else in my family on either side has anywhere near the gifts and second sight I have though some have smaller versions of some of my gifts, and all my life everyone has always called me an elf or dryad or fée my whole life, and nobody in my family have ever had angels and dragons as their invisible friends dream space tutors/guardians, and while lucid dreaming world walking is common in my family nobody else of them regularly walk the fairy lands in dream space have a standing invite to join Seelie with a requirement to be there in dream space at the cross quarters and important rides/missions, and while three's a lot of curious medical quirks in my family nobody else gets so incredibly sick from pollutants/chemicals as I get.  I often seem to run on pure raw light energy and I'm only frail or sickly when away from nature too long or when I can't see the stars at night or when exposed to anything that poisons/sickens the natural world. 

Honestly, the AQI numbers didn't even go over 200 (yet) this time but the air laden with the wildfire smokes is almost as bad as the days/weeks people are spraying their lawns for how badly I get affected by it, that makes me so sick with migraines and light headedness that I can't function can only sleep (with the most vivid dreams, most of them within the realms of the fair folk in dream space) until I'm better or the pollutants are no longer in the environment however long that takes....  It probably part of why I love winter so well -- the wildfires stop and nobody is spraying their lawns/fields with chemicals that make me so sick.... 

Anyway. I've just been a bit useless for days now due to the solar storms electrical overload and the wildfire smoke pollutants causing constant low grade migraines that turn into full blown migraine if I spend too much time outside or exert myself too hard. And it won't improve until the wildfire smoke is no longer over us. (I'd rather have the Saharan dust storm over the east coast than wildfire smoke.... Sand is abrasive but it's natural. It's not the pain of the ancient ones burning and the terror for the furred/feathered friends and all the plastic toxins of the homes/cars/roads/refineries/factories that burn  within the "wildfires." If it were just classic pre-industrial age forest fires it would be one thing, it would still carry sorrow and terror on the wind but not the deadly toxins of modern wildfire, because right now manmade things are burning with the natural world and it's so much more than the natural floral and fauna that burn in these conflagrations -- and it's all carried by the wind in what we call "wildfire smoke." Bonfires and forest fires and prairie fires don't give me these migraines, it's all the human made toxins in the wildfires are the problem.

I also have sore throat and easily develop laryngitis from wildfire smoke exposure -- but that just makes my voice sound rougher. it's an annoyance and a discomfort but it's not like the migraines and light headedness which can force me to lay me in bed for long hours until I stop having pain every time I move and/or everything starts to black out around the edges whenever I try to stand up. 

Not the end of the world, just not my shiniest self and I've been dleeping a lot (with VERY vivid dreams) to try to let my body deal with the migraine and toxins. 

Um. I know I said I was not yet thinking about getting a new cat quite yet, but Waffles is so depressed and only seems to get out of it when I promise her we WILL get a new cat but first I have to meet the right one.  Also, right now is right after the first wave of kitten season, so all shelters/rescues are trying to mve the cats through so they can keep kittens and mamas and elderly owner surrenders from being unnecessarily euthanized due to seasonal overcrowding. So if I can find a cat that feels right to me, now is the best possible time to free up a berth within the adoption/foster systems. So I've been looking through cats available for adoption. And there are some options but nobody who I've met in person or felt "THIS is my cat" quite yet. MadCat is having their Kitty Palooza on Sat, which is a big live music festival with a raffle to earn them money and lots of cat related vendors, and a speed dating style adoption event with all adoption fees waived. Basically, you have 5 minutes in a room with 3-6 cats/kittens and you have to decide if you feel you matched with any want to take them on or they will guide you to the next room of potential fur babies for 5 minutes. Cat adoption speed dating. I've never tried it and it will help me see how I feel about it. I don't KNOW that I will find me the one right cat that way especially since that won't give me much of an idea if the cat in question is good with dogs or has past trauma with them, but worth going and seeing and starting the process to help with my dog's depression. There will be more free adoption events coming up and the available animals changes pretty quickly in the local shelters and I haven't even met any at the local indie pet stores or adoption events -- but Spock won't even consider moving onward while I don't have a feline protector of my home and Waffles is having such a hard time missing her feline friend. That said, NOT for free or reduced adoption rates at this time, but there are two from Underdog (who place all their rescues in foster homes) who I like who I KNOW are good with dogs and are listed as loving their canine family in their foster homes so are not likely to have post traumatic reactions to Waffles due to past dog interactions.

The first who I've been eying since Sun or so is Juan Carlos (who I would nickname/rename Don Juan Carlos de Miawco an nickname Lord Byron as well) and I've been talking since Spock's CKD diagnosis about wanting a black cat for my next cat.

The second I only noticed tonight (which I admit is because I didn't scroll past Juan Carlos the first time I was looking through their available cats for adoption) and that is Comet Orrin who is unexpectedly gorgeous who has lots of potential names to accrue onto him.

 I haven't started an adoption form for either of them to initiate the process but I've come VERY close to it for Juan Carlos, I just want to at least explore other options to meet in person especially for reduced/waived adoption fees and/or help move animals on through the shelter systems to make new berths for other cats in need during kitten season. Also though, I don't want to pressure myself to get a cat/kitten just because I want a new cat -- I want to make sure it's one that feels right and clicks for me and the dog.

Anyway, so Kitty Palooza is apparently an annual event and I'm planning to go this year since I am looking for a kitty and so I may as well go meet them to find out.  That said, next week I have plans for a french wine tasting with my maman on Thurs evening, grandma has an optometry appointment next Fri, next Sat is Chicago Scottish Fest Highland Games (if we decide to go to it), and then next Sunday night (Father's Day) Crissy picked up tickets to see Skerryvore at JJ's in Racine. Oops. I'm sure I'll figure it out to spend time with da or do dinner with them that week.

I feel like I had something else to share but I don't know what it was...  Eh, I'm sure I will figure it out though if it was important.

O also, this is your catch up for recent Astro Poets Horoscopes since I haven't shared in a while since Spock was my biggest concern: 

"Week of 5/18 in Libra: If you see into the light. Then there remains a pink that can be tamed. So be it is exactly how you feel. Let it hold itself in the light. You will find friendship there."

"Week of 5/18 in Pisces: There you stay as it were. So you fill it all up and go beyond. What bright lights might you fill it with. What things might you find there. Some bright pink water."

"Week of 5/25 in Libra: So much love and romance. That’s exactly what you wanted from the afternoon. When you walk into the space with everything that is floating. That is the way that reality cannot bend. That is the way that time itself is the opening."

"Week of 5/25 in Pisces: You rest into the space where everything is an emotion. That’s not just how you get your power. There is a source of the green butterfly. Take to it. It’s yours."

"Week of 6/1 in Libra: A very purple night has seen itself. You rise into the same morning with butterfly wings. It cannot be that all there is is a way that it can recede. It cannot be that the code is there. There is love and forgiveness"

"Week of 6/1 in Pisces: Every last bit that flies. Flies with you or so you say. Every season that remains is your breadth. A time or so ago. A light or so it seems with every last bit."