Alright, some good news now because Lord knows we need whatever little shards of light because early or late seeing it coming doesn't make the darkness of what's coming any less dark.
I spent more than I wanted on the vet visit this afternoon (dog needed three more of her vaccines which is just a quick lab visit usually but the cat was the expensive one needing vet exam fee time along with his blood draw for CKD panel, urinalysis, and blood pressure check to stage his CKD.) which was good to see Dr. Erin, the vet i started seeing over 16 years ago with Audrey when I first got her as a puppy, she's very cheerful bright personality and works well with my ADHD quickness of thought and random questions.
But the spending $268 isn't the good news. The good news is that Spock's blood pressure is really good AND there were no sediments in his urinalysis meaning no UTI or kidney infection or stones or excess proteins. All of this leads us to thinking we should be able to stage his CKD earlier not later. And early CKD with food choices to help decrease and minimize excess phosphorus and salt and proteins that are hard on the kidneys can have a life expectancy up to 8.5 years after diagnosis. Granted he's already 15.5 (I got him when he was about 1.5 years old) so if he lives that long with CKD progression he will have lived to be a 24 year old cat, lol.
But it's good news that we're not looking at stage III or IV CKD which is counting in months not years how much time you still have together. I will know on Monday what stage and substage we will be looking at with it.
In other light-hearted news, when I turned on the car after getting the animals settled in the backseat, the DJ finished her sentence and then the radio started one of my absolute favorite songs released this year (other than the Shaboozey song) and with the traffic and me needing to turn left to get home, my drive was the perfect length for the song which ended just as I opened the garage door to park. The Myles Smith song Stargazing. Love that song so much!!! The chorus is still stuck in my head I've been singing it since I got home, but also I love it so I don't mind. And I can't help it but it does always make me think of my polar bear, and in a light filled hopeful of what still could be way not in a stoic acceptance of what is way. What can I say? Libra Sun and Pisces rising and a Scorpio Venus and a Sagittarius Mars -- I can't help being an optimistic romantic even when my pragmatic Capricorn moon tells me to accept reality as it is.
And that's something you should always remember about me. My natural optimism and hopeless (hopeful) romantic side are in no way ever quashed just because I have a stoic streak and can precog events (big and little, it's not ALWAYS world changing precogs and sometimes I use the gift in completely petty ways like saving time trying to make decisions by peeking ahead to see what I'll wear to a show or which outfits to pack or where we're going to eat.) I can and do precog happy things when it's something I know to be coming (like shows I have tickets to see) as well as the hard things and having the death sight -- but also there's an inherent optimism and joy in feeling something good coming over the horizon of time but not knowing what it is because it's a happy surprise. Like, other people can free will choose things make plans that create happy surprises for me and all I will get is the happy glow of "something good is coming into my life" but I'll have no idea what or from whom. One of the best ways to brighten up my psychic life is to plan happy surprises for me as well as good plans I know about can cheat and peek ahead to see. But the knowing "something good is coming" and nothing more than that due to my requested block on me precogging happy surprises is like having an inner sunrise coloring all my emotions/thoughts/gifts that nothing can shake or shatter.
If you don't believe me on that, try it sometime..and just see how I light up both at the happy surprise and the glowing buildup to finding out what it is. Bad things almost never surprise me because of the precofs unless I've been overextending my gifts -- but good things can happy surprise me all the time and they're one of my favorite things!! How do you make someone with gift of prophecy ecstatic? Surprise them with something good. Works every time. No matter how much of the world is darkened, happy surprises always bring light into me and my world. And it also means that if things get tough and I don't see the way to improve them, it doesn't mean there isn't a way just because I can't see it, sometimes it means I can't see the way to it because it's achieved by the free will choices of someone else that bring happy surprises to me. Trust me and even if you're overthinking doubting try it, try planning a happy surprise to gift me and see what happens. You'll be amazed at the doors and paths it opens and the shiny brightness you can enkindle in me if you just try planning a happy surprise and springing it on me.
But anyway. My point was: the Myles Smith song Stargazing, I absolutely adore it and am pretty constantly earwormed by it especially right after hearing it. And also, the chorus of it always makes me think of hugging my polar bear (who has been reaching for me in the wee hours a lot these recent weeks) even when I'm trying not to let me think on him
[post title: lyrics from the Myles Smith song Dtargazing.]
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