Anecdote time from these recent wee hours

My body: "Okay. We are at a completed end of REM cycle! FULLLY ENERGIZED! To ensure we don't oversleep or wake up at the wrong time, it's time to get up now!" 

Me (wide awake): "are you sure? We went to bed early so we could hit two rem cycles before sunrise wakeup. It still looks super dark out there and none of my alarms have gone off...." 

My body: "That's because your alarms are for AFTER sunrise. I promise you, this is just predawn and we are at the end of a REM cycle. Good stopping point for sleep. Best rested brain function." 

My brain: "Awww hey! You called? I have an idea guys!"

Me: "Okay. Let's hear your idea." 

My brain (enters jukebox mode; I have never understood people who don't have running interior music and who aren't easily earwormed by phrases that are also lyrics; even if it's just random melodies not full songs playing inside my brain, if I'm conscious there's always music playing in my head unless I'm listening to music with my ears or watching a movie/show that has intermittent scoring): *starts playing Texas Hold Em, completely apropos of nothing whatsoever* 

Me (waiting): "Okay brain. That's, um, nice. But what's the idea?" 

My brain (still singing Texas Hold Em while thinking): "O no. That was it. That was the whole idea. before bed we were talking to Amanda about the tornadoes near her in Iowa. So I was still thinking about wind and tornadoes damage in the city. Thus this song. From the line. There's a tornado in my city. Mostly though it was just too quiet. Because it's witching hour quiet. Had to give you some music to fill the quiet and help you metronome the moments passing." 

Me: "Um. Gee. Thanks brain. But body, back to what you said. It's been a lot of Beyonce now since you woke up feeling wide awake fully rested and the sky has not lightened. At all. And I don't hear the birds yet. Maybe we could consider another round of REM?...." 

My body: "no! No more sleep! End of REM cycle and it's pre dawn so now it's time to get up so we don't over sleep."

Me: "okay. I'm going to get up and cross the room to check what time it is, mkay?" (Does so) "Body! Look at this phone screen! It's not quite 2am. You got ONE of our REM cycles in. Just one. We have time for another Rem Cycle before first light if we do it now!"

 (My REM cycle is right around 3h not 4h; so I sleep in multiples of three hour segments not multiples of 4hrs if I want to wake up well rested not groggy from waking up mid REM cycle)

My body (still very wide awake): "No! No more sleep!! REM cycle completed!"

Me: "Yes we've had one REM cycle, but what about second REM cycle?" 

My brain (snarky while still playing the earworm): "I don't think this body knows about second REM cycle."

My body: "REM cycle completed, so awake now! Now is 2am IS before dawn! That makes it pre dawn! Let's get up and start doing all the things" 

Me: "But the goal is typically supposed to be two to three REM cycles per night body. Optimally. We can still get a second one in and wake up in ACTUAL predawn at the end of a REM cycle. Brain, please help me here..." 

My brain: "So park your Lexus and throw your keys up . Stick around, 'round, 'round, 'round, 'round. And I'll be damned if I can't slow dance with you, Come pour some sugar on me, honey too. It's a real life boogie and a real life hoedown -- Don't be a bitch, come take it to the floor now."

Me: "oh. My. Gods. You are useless... Okay, body listen to me. I know you completed the REM cycle and are wide awake, but maybe let's lay back down and just see what happens, k? I promise you, you can do one more complete REM cycle if we start it in the next 15 mins. The math works. Right brain?" 

My brain: "This ain't Texas. It ain't no hold em. So lay your cards down down down down." 

(11 minutes later, brain humming to itself the earworm but quieter and body relaxing) 

My body: "O hey! I have an idea!" 

Me (eyes closed trying to sleep) "M'yeah? Wassdat?"

My body: "Let's relax and loosen BOTH shoulders to dislocate right now!" (Subluxates the shoulder I'm laying on then as I'm rolling over to relieve it, subluxates further both shoulders simultaneously; my hypermobility and joint instability has been a bit worse again recently, I don't know what makes it sometimes worse than others... if it's dietary maybe given I've been craving radishes and milk/cheese a lot lately or hormonal cycles or the weather since it started just before the severe weather of this last week moved in to the midwest or what, but all week my shoulders have been subluxating even more than usual and my elbows and knees have been randomly hyper flexing backwards then giving out when I'm just standing somewhere not even locked knees or anything (they don't do it while squatting/sitting/crouching or actively moving/dancing; just when straightened standing or on stairs)  like they did when I used to run more than half mile on pavement or 1 mile on soft grass; but i havent been running at all because it makes my knees give out randomly because I have 2/3 or less the cartilage I should in all my joints so no idea why my knees are randomly hyper extending backwards then giving out while standing so only the other leg is supporting my weight. They're not hurting at all, they're just unstable overextending  backwards hypermobile which causes them to give out rather than snap the joint while it's got instability issues But doing it for no reason, especially my left knee but still both doing it.)

Me (wide awake): "o dear gods no!!! No no no no!!! That fucking hurts!!! Just because we're hypermobile flexible doesn't mean relaxing into sleep so far you subluxate the joints!!" 

My body: "You. Said. Relax. To. Sleep." 

Me (trying to manually get my shoulder back in place with the socket without getting out of bed): "not  relax to the point we subluxate the ball joints! Help me get this back where it was now..." 

My body: "No can do." 

Me: "seriously?!?! We have a LOT of plant shopping and gardening and hauling around planter boxes and pots and dirt planned for today!" 

My body: "o, we'll be fine by then. I'm just not going to stop relaxing that right subluxated shoulder so it will stay in the socket unless you stand up let gravity assist me."

Me: "Fine. Fucking fine. Just let's make the burning pain in these overstretched tendons of the dislocated joint stop firing pain signals by getting them back where they go, k?" 

My body (after shoulders no longer subluxated): "Hey. So. We're at a completed REM cycle now. Let's just get up now you're vertical!" 

My brain: "Hey guys! You're awake! So I have this idea here!" (Turns up the inner earworm volume starts singing, "Ooh, one step to the right. We headin' to the dive bar we always thought was nice. Ooh, run me to the left. Then spin me in the middle, boy, I can't read your mind."

Me: "Y'know what. I give up. Y'all are fucking crazy. I FINALLY try to get us to bed at a reasonable enough time for adequate REM cycles before first light and this is how you thank me?!?! Witching hour wide awake Beyonce two step earworm karaoke and relaxing so far the hypermobile joints displace. Y'all don't deserve any more sleep! I'm going to get up and make me some green tea and then read until it's time to make breakfast then get ready to drop the dog off at work so I can go to Fitchburg Farms to meet up with Sarah and Mikaela when they open at 9." 

If we go this morning, I can get the less sensitive/fragile plants in today and finish getting all the soils prepped since there's a nice day with a break in the multi day derechos and tornadoes across the upper Midwest. (Not planting any of the nightshades just yet even though it's already almost June by the time I will get them in because after tomorrow's severe weather and hail comes through, temps are dropping with highs in the 60s and lows back down into mid to low 40s -- nightshades will be happier waiting til Weds/Thurs to get in when temps go back up again to overnights in the 50s and daytime in the upper 70s.) 

anyway. Do you see what I have to put with from myself?!?!?! This sort of shenanigans from my own damn self making me hard to live with is what you've been missing. Also lots of crazy storms and MASSIVE amounts of downed trees and power lines and switching between working and quiet days reading while drinking tea and spending time cuddling with cats (both Spock and checking in on Henry cat sitting) and playing fetch/walkies/snuggling sleeping dogs (just Waffles and Sophie time) are all you've really missed out on in my world while I wasn't writing here. O, and on Weds/Thurs evenings my da and I (with some small assist from Brandon before he headed home the couple days da and I were working on it; not my ex Brandon, this is a different Brandon, our newest service tech who is super helpful and kind and enjoys power tool projects; he and his wife moved up here from North Carolina last year) fixed one of the planter boxes  that was falling apart including one of the wheels we put on it had fallen off with some power tools and ply wood and one run to Menards for some 2x4s (rather than trying to brace the broken board that couldn't be removed to replace it for structural reasons which they were discussing the best options for doing it that way, I suggested if we were planning on buying new 2x4 anyway to cut down, since the height of the finished box didn't matter except that all three support beams the wheels are mounted into be the same height so the box is level, why don't we just remove all the wheels we added to the original boxes and put full length 2x4 under each of the bottom support lengths with nails long enough to go through the 2x4 and old boards and posts because it would make them all 3 stronger from any rot or splitting not just the broken/split one and still be level. My da and Brandon just sort of blinked and were like, "Actually, that would be far easier and sturdier then trying to build up around this broken piece hold just that in place.") and to get 4 replacement screws/washers for the missing ones of the wheel that broke off when the wood it was attached to splintered.) Which the work on the bottom bracing and the interior reinforcing with new plywood had to be done before they left for Montana and needed to be done with the box empty before I could finish the redistributing of old soil from last year and adding egg shells and plant food and new soil mixing it all together for the new herbs/veggies. We still are going to cut down the 2x4 and reinforce the corner posts from the outside in case there's more rot in the old palette boards the planters were made from, but that can be done later, after the soil and plants are in it. Later in the fall or next spring, I'll have to empty out the planter box in better condition for repairs, but that one has all the wheels attached and the support boards aren't cracking on the bottom and the sides can make it another summer before repairs. 

Anyway. Now it's ACTUAL predawn, so I'm going to finish this second cuppa and read another chapter then start considering coffee/breakfast ideas and timing. I'm not hungry yet which makes it hard to think about breakfast making, but if I don't eat something in my open span of time before 8:30, I will be famished getting the hangries before we finish plant shopping at like 10:30ish which is the earliest I could then next consider food. 

P. S. Why yes I DO still have Texas Hold Em stuck in my head. Going on 3+ hours of that earworm playing inside my brain.  Hopefully you're earwormed now too after reading this post and we can be earwormed with the same song together this fine morning.