Waffles had a bad time with the vaccine vet visit (fine with the vax, just not the vets) because the front desk tech I handed her to handed her off to someone else to do the actual vaccine and didn't give them my verbal warning to go slow and gentle introduce yourself first because two weeks ago she was good with Erin but not when handed off to anyone who I hadn't met given my okay to. So they muzzled her (without checking her chart where her previous vet said that restraints like muzzle was the worst thing you could do with her to get her to be cooperative) and then she shat all over their head vet tech who decided to do it herself...also Waffles gets anxiety the more anger/stress the people around her feel, she also gets really licking reassuring when people are stressed.  When the head vet tech brought her back to me to discuss, AFTER I was good with the head vet tech Waffles started licking her in apology. But I mean, I don't know what else I could have done given they have her vet records and I WARNED them that she has a history of reactivity and nervousness at the past vet and that she did better last time when I personally handed her off to Erin but having someone else work with her without my permission/introduction to that person has been a problem made her nervous defensive more like her documented previous behavior patterns. I mean, it's in her files and I warned them all at the front desk and Erin had to come back when she took another animal for their blood work to help with Waffles who remembered her.

But I mean, as soon as she saw I was okay with the head vet tech (who I hadn't met before) then Waffles was good with her and licked her apologetically and finally accepted treats from her. She just was uncooperative without me telling and showing her this is friend.... Waffles and I did go on a good long walk though afterward and I was less strict about leash rules except if there were other people/dogs approaching and just let her run along with longer lead and enjoy herself as long as she wasn't pulling.

Sooo, about the other night.... it wasn't just the two lights flashed then burned out in the stalls to my left and right when I got so angry that I thought it was, I also fucked up the garage door opener/closer so it won't close when I smacked the button while angry at 3am to close it after taking the dog shut to the curb.... It still wasn't working when I got home last night so today they had to send someone out to replace that because yesterday the garage door would start to close then open and not close again.  Whoops. 

This is why I work so hard to control my temper this life -- it's not just the cost of replacing lightbulbs that blow all too frequently, short of moving off grid, me getting angry is a really fucking expensive habit for everyone given the amount of things that are electronic and thus energy sensitive in the modern world.  I wasn't kidding about electric cars getting fucked up error messages that won't start the engine when i get frustrated or angry and they won't work until I calm my shit. I've also fried computers and backup harddrives. And if I try to set the security system at work when angered or annoyed, the entire system sets off some error that the company says doesn't even exist and they call and can't fix it and can't stop the police from being called over and over even when they call the police and tell them to ignore it because they don't know WHY the security system is freaking out and can't figure out what the error code even means... And then when that happens in the middle of the night, you can't do anything or shut it off without removing and replacing the entire unit with a new unit which means waking up a tech in the middle of the night to come do that because it won't stop calling into the ADT system AND calling the cops to report it so no real calls can come in and then I finally calm down and apologize and just as their tech shows up, the entire system resets and the error code stops because I calmed my shit. Let's just say me touching security systems when I'm upset or frustrated makes for an ordeal until I calm my shit, lol.

I also cause horrible feedback in speakers and mics and amps if I'm too close to them and I get angry. And all watch batteries die within a short amount of time if I wear a watch (and yes that includes smart watches and fitbits) so if a battery lasts even a month of me wearing a device I'm pretty excited about it. I can also make it so that no cell service or wifi or bluetooth reaches any device in my hand or within a certain proximity to me, anyone's device will do it when I don't want to be bothered -- and when I'm angry or upset the circumference of my bubble of affected electronics/glass/metal gets bigger.  O, and I regularly kill routers if I get upset when I'm too near one (this happens most often when I get frustrated that it won't let me login or work on my phone/laptop.) 

It only happens when I'm angry/upset though -- when I'm happy, I can make broken things continue to work just by believing they will work for me.  So I have spent a lot of my life learning to either control or release my anger before it builds and reaches a dangerous point it's going to energetically spill out of me and cause damage I can't control/contain. But if you trigger me unexpectedly on an issue of justice or cruelty, my anger grows too fast for me to have much hope at all of controlling it. It has helped me immensely the day I realized that if it's worth investing the energy of my anger, than it deserves something better of me, whether that's working through positive emotions to make it better or working to let it go so it can't anger me. Just that if it deserves my energy and attention, then it deserves better from me than my anger destroying things because of the raw force of it.... That doesn't always work, but it often helps me when I find my temper building. It doesn't help with the short fuse triggers of dealing with people's acts of injustice/unfairness or cruelty/bullying though. It just helps me not react with anger to those I love or those who fucked up but not intentionally or those who are willing to own up to their mistakes and make things right. None of those three deserve the blast of raw energy burning/destroying everything in its path that is my anger.

People who I know who see prana/chi/auras or who do energy work (including reiki work) basically say that my energy gets very red sharp and feels like running into spikes that burn/poison if you run into them when I get even a little bit annoyed and that burn like blades of chemical burns if you run into it while I'm angry angry. 

I wasn't kidding about accidentally going Carrie on things when I lose my temper. I've spent a lot of time teaching myself to control my temper this life because it's very hard/expensive to live in the modern world when your temper makes mini EMPs in your vicinity or within anything you touch/focus your attention on. I don't MEAN to do it, and I always feel BAD about the wreckage I've made when my temper burns itself out and I do TRY to make rules for myself of what I'm not allowed to touch when I'm angry or frustrated because it's too expensive/impossible to replace. 

It's one of my not so awesome wyrd gifts... and it's completely not controllable in any way, it happens when I LOSE control because I get angry and it's just raw emotions in control. And it's one that follows genetics predisposition, my da and my paternal grandfather do it as well but not nearly as intensely or completely or consistently as I do. So there's a VERY good possibility that if I ever have kids, this (like the precogs/vision dreams and the time manipulation and the empath/telepath knowing what other people feel/think as if they're speaking it out loud and the mediumship seeing/interacting with ghosts/angels/gods skills) that they will have to navigate growing up with, though the strength of all gifts vary.  Actually, one of the things I have always struggled with dating is at what point you tell the guy about your wyrd gifts and how much do you tell them... Like, do you give them warning and at what number date do you do that? Or do you just wait until it comes up and it freaks their shit out observing it without any warning? And then how do you handle their feeling you deceived them by not telling them about it sooner? A boyfriend who believes you AND accepts it rather than being scared of it is a rare thing. Most of the time the reactions are some form of disbelief and/or fear and/or putting me on a pedestal instead of recognizing that I'm human just with a lot of psychic/magic wyrd gifts... and I just want to be accepted and loved as me qua me, just a flawed person doing the best she can even if some of what I deal with isn't in the hands of most people. But figuring out how and when to bring it up is definitely a difficulty for me in romantic relationships, even just short term ones, more so than with friends vs. acquaintances. Those who move from acquaintances into friends are generally those who have observed my wyrd and decided they like it and are cool with what they have observed. It's probably why the Irish community, especially Irish musicians have been so immediately accepting of me. The Scots are mildly terrified of how Fey I am being too much for them but they like me want to stay on my good side just don't know what to do with me, but the Irish are always like, "Ye're not here to cause harm and my music makes you shiny beam joy that spins things brighter magickal for everyone? Brilliant! Stay as long as ye want lovey! Here's a hug, now whiskey pour or a pint?" Americans of Irish descent can be a lot more evangelical almost east coast WASP about it, but the Irish born, they just accept me as I am and think it's prime and do everything in their power to keep me in a happy space that lays a shiny happiness glamour on everyone around me. I've never had an Irish born and raised person react to my shiny wyrd with anything but delight and welcome and just observing it and acknowledging it and welcoming me in as is to stay as long as I want. 

Which speaking of the Irish reminds me, Keith finally posted yesterday his Insta reel talking publicly about his project of building himself a studio from a broken down shed/garage in his back yard and the little black kitten that showed up in the backyard right next to the shed the day he started working on it and he's since adopted (who was nicknamed Mr. Meow Meow before discovering she's a girl cat, lol.) It made me laugh. Also his female kitteh Mr. Meow Meow is ridiculously adorable and sweet. And I'm very much looking forward to his first song coming up soon! I do always love me a happy surprise and I didn't know that one was in the pipeline!