Thinking of which: What set me back off on the "Delta Rae are inauthentic hypocrites and bullies who only care about sycophants and money and fame and will sell out any ethical stance they ever claimed to hold" stance again? That's a valid question. because the truth is that even despite Eric's choices to take active continuous part in weekly acts of bullying via ostracism on the band's instagram account and the injection of new poisons down the bond that did on a weekly basis due to his choices, I had actually mellowed and was internally trending toward "one of the very few bands and concert experiences I miss and would like to see again would be Delta Rae if it isn't weird and there are no bullying behaviors involved in the band's words/actions" just this Spring. I was and I admit that. So what set me off again caused all my about face to feeling they'd only confirmed that they'd sell out any and every ethical thing just for a publicity stunt or money or the promise of fame? 

Honestly? There's a one word answer to that: Bulleit.

The moment they announced they had chosen a Bulleit bourbon barrel to age their dark beer and then all the cross promotion with Bulleit bourbon DURING Pride month and then announcing they'd be playing a Bulleit festival thing in Kentucky REALLY fucking pissed me off made me say that they were capitalizing on social issues rather than being actual allies.  That's what set me back on that mental track of their inauthenticity and hypocrisy and claiming morals that their actions/choices directly contradict.

Because, maybe you've forgotten but in 2017 there was a HUGE controversy surrounding Bulleit bourbon and their disinheritance kicking out of the company the lesbian daughter of the founder following a decade of refusing to ever include in promotional or in house photography any images of Hollis and Cher, her partner of 10 years.  Her openly homophobic family not only ceased inviting the lesbian couple to family holidays but the openly homophobic corporate owner Diageo pushed Hollis out of her role as a brand ambassador while claiming to corporate support LGBTQ+ equality issues.   It was such a huge slap in the face to the "first lady of bourbon" and the entire LGBTQ+ community that the community and allies of the community refused to drink or serve Bulleit products in their bars and it is still not drunk by anyone within the community or an active ally in the community. You simply do not buy it, drink it, or drink cocktails that support the brand that chose homophobia as their branding and kicked out the heiress for being a lesbian. 

In case you don't have an eidetic memory as I do or perhaps didn't drink whiskey/bourbon or care about LGBTQ+ issues in 2017, here are some links from various news sources published when it happened back in 2017:

~ Forbes

~ Washington Post

~ Out

It remains a taboo bourbon to everyone within the community and their allies and I know many LGBTQ+  bars that have refused to serve it and a few that have even refused to serve ANY product managed by Diageo.  I'm not LGBTQ+ myself, but 2 of my aunts are, 1 of my cousins is, and close to half of my friends are -- so for me allyship has always been a deeply personal fight and issue rather than a performative display. And you do not monetarily or public relations support homophobic families and companies that push out the heiress for being an outspoken lesbian.

So for a band that once wrote Chain on Love and has always claimed to be LGBTQ+ allies (with Grant going so far as to create his own clothing line Human Good Kind in support of all sexual and racial identities) to announce DURING Pride Month that they were partnering with Bulleit bourbon and then to splash advertisements and cross- promotions with the brand of bourbon that openly disinherited the heiress of the family for being a lesbian is performative allyship and rank hypocrisy of the morals the band has CLAIMED to be based on prior to their involvement in selling out to the country music scene.  

And that is what re-ignited in me my assessment that they are hypocrites and bullies who will sell out any ethics they claim to hold for a bit of money, fame, or attention. 

And it's not just me -- Crissy brought it up herself when we were discussing concert tickets for late fall/early winter and what we were going to buy versus wait based on our current expectations of the pandemic's progression so far and how we expect it to be unfolded by that time. And my friend Denis (who fell in love with their music because of their lyrics that I shared frequently to my facebook status throughout the Carry the Fire and Chasing Twisters and After It All eras, and he attended their November 2018 show in Madison that I did not attend) also brought it up privately to me following those posts about partnering with Bulleit.

I will forgive almost anyone of almost anything if I see the growth of someone learning from the past, acknowledging where they made mistakes, and righting the wrongs they did before they knew better. I have no forgiveness, no second/third/fourth/etc chances, to offer those who refuse to acknowledge/apologize for hurts they did and who continuously act in self-serving hypocritical ways and claim performative morals that their actions later show they will abandon in the name of money/fame/popularity/acclamation. Without acts of genuine accountability and evidence of changed behaviors moving forward,  don't ever expect for my eidetic memory to let go of your past choices/actions.... Real healing starts with honesty, accountability, changed behaviors - not lying to oneself or expecting changes without evidence. 

This was a set of choices ENTIRELY unrelated to me and the bullying activity from the band's official account(s) that began in 2018 that set me off reaffirmed for me that they are morally ambiguous hypocrites who are performative allies when an issue is popular but willing to sacrifice their claimed morals whenever they think they can get money or spread their name by doing so. 

So that choice of theirs to partner with Bulleit and link their name with Bulleit bourbon at this point really disgusted me with them as humans due to the difference of the facades of who they claim to be and the proof of their actions/choices showing who they really are. It reminded me of all the sound ethical foundations for why I decided the 2019 shows were my farewell to the nostalgia of my love for who they had been before they sold out their souls to the superficiality of the Nashville scene and a country radio bid for fame.  

So if you were wondering the reasons why my softening toward Delta Rae across the passing time had hardened once more into moral justice rigid red lines -- that's why. Because of their chosen associations and partnerships with the homophobic corporation of Bulleit bourbon.

Now. Time for me to head to bed! Spent the afternoon with my favorite 16 year old after my Pac Northwest family flew away. And then Crissy showed up for some catch up (since I haven't seen or spoken to her in about a week and a half or more) and we had dinner together. Tomorrow, my plan is to hang out with the 16 year old and she's going to re-read one of my fav fantasy novels since I was 8 yo about a stubborn intelligent princess who ran away to the dragons intentionally (Patricia C. Wrede, Dealing With Dragon; it's a quartet actually) and that i first read to Mikaela when she was 9 or so. And while she re-reads it, I'm going to draft out PRECISELY what I wish to say to my family members surrounding the grandma situation. And then before sending it, Crissy is going to come by after her code deployment/testing at work at 7pm, and we will have Thai food and I'm having her go through with an objective scrutinizing Libra sun Capricorn eye but emotionally more objectively removed eye my second to last draft version. And then after that's done, I'm going to punch in to work and to water all my thirsty indoor plant babies and work into the wee hours. That's my plan to get me through til Weds. (Weds I have to get a dental filling at 2:30. Because when I was a kid, my da told an awful Laffy Taffy wrapper level dad joke, "When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty." and for the life of me no matter what time i schedule dentist appointments ever since, I ALWAYS show up at 2:30 because it got so stuck in my brain. Which my dentist and former dental hygienist who just moved to a clinic closer to her home on the other side of town always found fucking hilarious about me.)  And then after my dentist appointment, just work and relaxing (and family drama) and my grandma has her PT appointment on Friday. That's the plan for the week. O and I need to pay the end of month bills and the last property taxes installment for my condo for 2021. Better write myself big notes even my ADHD can't miss about that tomorrow.  But anyway. That's the plan to round out this week. Ready? Go.