Just got in from putting away the water again for all the flowers and veggies and even the grass and trees now.  It's been highs between 87 and 94 ever since the frost advisory 3 weeks ago and we've had hardly any rain AND have never ceased being in drought conditions all year.  I've never seen the ponds and lakes so low.... So sprinkler out every evening and I'm putting out water dishes for the animals and birds at work and at home. And I have new plants to put in and weeds to pull but the ground is rock hard and the water isn't soaking in far past the top half inch of soil or so -- thus I can't even put the new plants in yet because they'll just die in the heat and lack of rain even with putting the sprinkler out every day or so..

 O yes, I forgot to post last night that my Audrey Pupburn got her annual summer cut yesterday. I know it's late, but it took over a month for the first available date to get her scheduled when I called -- and if not yesterday afternoon the next soonest was going to be July 5th. She's a 30lb Yorkie mix of some sort -- not entirely sure what because I got her as a puppy as a rescue from a raid on a puppy mill on an Amish farm. They claimed 100% Yorkie but she was already 12lbs when I got her as a 12 week old and her hair is curly when it gets long.   But like a Yorkie or a poodle she has no undercoat and she has hair not fur so it just continuously grows longer and longer the way human hair does.  She was also a true black and tan when I got her as a puppy 14 years ago.

Her hair didn't lighten up to her silvery-gold ash and strawberry blond coloring until she was about a year old. (Although when she gets shorn, you can see it's still the darker gray-black at the root along her back.)

She's adorable as her shaggy silvery-gold teddy bear muppet version for winter but she overheats with it and we both hate when I have to get burrs out of the long hair.  But she's a ridiculously photogenic dog with her long tousled blonde curls! 

(That particular butcher bone, the cat loves for some reason and constantly rubs against and steals from the dog and even sometimes tries to chew on. He's never done that with any of the dog's previous bones and I can't explain it. But it depresses the fuck out of the dog whenever the cat steals it...even if she hadn't been chewing on it before the cat stole it. So now the dog constantly drags it back into her bed and the cat pushes it out of the bed to drag it back to somewhere on the carpet so he can rub up against it and cuddle with it.)

But she looks like a completely different dog when she gets shaved down to her svelte emo young puppy look.  She's got a smaller bone structure than you'd expect under all that hair and it makes her eyes look so huge and soulful -- first time I ever had her shaved down because she was overheating with all that hair in the summer, I genuinely didn't even recognize her when I went to pick her up until I looked her in the eyes. 

And she really is just THE most emo -- she intentionally tosses her ear's across her eye like a little blond emo kid and stares at you through the hair.  She's also my Pisces pup -- and Pisces are THE most emo sign of all signs, they genuinely feel deeply everything they feel, particularly when they're hurt or sad or upset.  I say that with all the love in the world as a Pisces rising and with Pisces suns as several of my closest friends and 2 of my cousins who are like sisters to me.  But an emo Pisces genuinely is as heart broken as they seem over things, so you always need to treat them accordingly. They take everything deeply to heart.  And also, a Pisces is the absolute master of giving you the guilt trip -- which is really hard when they have the giant soulful eyes and unconditional love of a dog's heart.

Also, she's soooooo soft right after she gets shaved!!!!! I love it!!! For about 4-7 days after a fresh buzz, it's impossible to not pet a dog or a boy.  I mean, I love a guy with long hair I want to get my hands in and play with, but also a fresh buzz cut is almost impossible not to pet... Which is why my dog's emo puppy cut is just the absolute best -- soft and buzz cut short AND still long silky on her ears around her face.   Best of both.

It's so hard not to constantly kiss her and keep petting her right now though after her fresh summer cut!!!

Also also, I've had my dog for 14 years now. If you ask me to choose between you and my dog, I'll choose my dog. No matter how much I love you, I'll choose the dog. I'm her entire world and she gets depressed enough she stops eating when I'm gone for longer than 3 weeks so I'd recommend you not ask me to choose. Because I'll choose the dog.  Although her heat regulation is worse now that she's older (this is typical with elderly dogs) and so while she won't ever go to the bedroom without me heading to bed, when I lift her up to bed to snuggle she only snuggles for a short while before she hops off the bed to sleep on the floor.  And for the same reason she doesn't usually hop up on the couch by herself anymore -- only to snuggle for a bit til she overheats. (Funny thing: I have a white couch and a golden yellow chair and the animals are allowed on both. the only stains I've ever gotten on the white couch are from human guests and exes dropping food on it accidentally -- never from the dog.  My mother told me I was an idiot for getting a white couch, especially since I already had a dog, but as I said, it's only been other humans who have ever stained and damaged it. Never the dog or the cat.)

Now if you asked me to choose between you and the cat.....  Kidding. Spock is an asshole of a Taurus cat and he eats my plants sometimes just to tell me he's upset with me not because he actually wants to eat it -- but he has serious abandonment issues and thus I've promised him that I'm keeping him until he dies.

Sorry but the baggage I currently come with is a dog, a cat, 30+ plants, and 3,000+ books. 

P. S.  I don't wear bright colors every day or dress up like that all the time.  I wear white and black and dark gray and greens and blues most of the time. I just like to make sure I wear bright colors when helping my grandma as it helps her see me with her glaucoma when she's following me and makes her more cheerful.  

I know, I know -- I'm not nearly as cute as my dog AND I make funny faces at myself to make me laugh when trying to take selfies to reduce resting bitch face and ironic wryness. But anyway see?  Black band tee,  glasses,  no makeup,  massive bedhead of unbrushed curls that was washed yesterday morning.  That's my normal,  lol. Part of why I own so many tees is because my boobs are distractingly huge, even straight girls and gay men tell me that, and I don't feel the need to show them off get hit on constantly. I actually hate the getting hit on constantly. That's also why the chances of getting me to wear makeup outside of dates, concerts, and special events are pretty low -- I actually don't even own any foundation or blush at this point in my life. Not even tinted sunscreen.  Just sparkly metallic eye shadows, colorful and black eyeliners for different moods, mascara for when I want to look like I'm wearing falsies (I have ridiculously long eyelashes -- they made microscope work hard in my micro-biology coursework) and some fun lip colors I like. But I'd say over 90% of the time, no makeup but dirt smudges from playing in the garden is how you get me. 

You'll also never find me by going on a dating app or hitting up the clubs or bars. Unless there's a concert. I do go to bars for concerts - but that's it. Dating apps and bars are not where you'll ever find a girl like me, lol. Concerts, theatre (plays and musicals), Farmer's Markets, bookstores, plant stores, outside in nature especially hiking, art museums, natural history museums, zoos are all among your best bets, lol. For example: Tomorrow morning I'm planning to head to u pick strawberries in the early morning! (and I get to intentionally over-pick so I can give some to my grandma and some to Crissy and some for her to take to her dad over the weekend for Father's Day and some for my parents and Sarah's family if they desire.  But grandma and Crissy are the ones I've promised to share with.) And Friday I have to take my dog and cat to their annual vet visit and then I'm headed to the zoo to see the baby otters and hopefully meet up with my cousin and her daughter!

P.P.S. O, Philippe's email was that he was cleaning out old emails to help reduce storage space on servers and thus help the environment (yeah he's that sort -- his family also has lots of money for him to inherit, and he is/was in a band (I did write here about me accidentally cursing myself to only date musicians when I was 19, right?)) and he found our old emails and it instantly brought him back to visiting Madison and meeting me at Concerts on the Square so even though he didn't know if it was still my email address, he wanted to "throw the bottle in the ocean" and say hi see how I'm doing.  He's actually very kind and romantic and was a good boyfriend (and his dog was/is super adorable and sweet.)  I don't expect it's going to go anywhere. And anyway, I still don't think it's ethically correct to date people when your heart/soul is set on someone else entirely and mine is pretty much true north toward Eric even if I don't currently see a way from here to realize it this life. (Perhaps that's unnecessarily pessimistic of me -- but I just can't see my way around the current issues and the choices Eric has made and has allowed to be made in his name.) But I also don't want anyone else if there's even the slightest most improbable chance of being with Eric -- and so for now I just choose to be single and not seek out anyone else to date.  I don't ask it of him or anyone else, but I have to live with my own conscience -- and my conscience dictates I not lead other people on because it's cruel to them. So therefore I genuinely believe that it's unfair to the other person you're considering dating if you're stuck on someone else entirely -- and thus I choose not to take part in it. I'd rather be single than intentionally cruel to others.  But I'll enjoy reconnecting with Philippe, even if with an ocean apart I don't see anything romantic happening there in the near future even without the added complication of actually having crossed paths with Eric already this life.