Today actually went far better than expected and I'm glad that Uncle Chris, Aunt Sondra, and my cousin Sabra all came.  Everyone seems on the same page as far as care is concerned and there happened to be an open house today for a retirement place that is in the budget and that both my mom and my Aunt Linda had arrived at on their own. The open house ran until 2 and people were only wrapping up at like 1:20 and I opted not to join them since 1) grandma couldn't go today (the ramp is not yet installed and she has a hard time with stairs and her walker 2) I trust everyone else going (a group of 8 family members) should see or think of any questions I might have and 3) I looked at the picture of the building and it matched my precogs of where I'd seen grandma moving (precogs can be annoyingly unhelpful because I'll see a visual of a future event, but not the name or any way to look for hat I see -- but I will recognize it when I see the flash forward in the present, lol. Also sometimes like in this case, I precog things before they exist so even if I had a way to take the image from my precog into something I could search, I'd not be able to find it until it exists and the divine timing is right.) 4) New building = still off gassing = instant migraine and nausea for me = bad time if I go,  especially since going would not allow me to see grandma's reaction 5) There remained a mess in the kitchen from the bagels and schmear, the dining room where we were seated, and nobody had helped grandma with her "leg warmers" compression stockings (and there were no non-stick gauze for the currently open wound, which is minor but should still be protected) or verified she did her afternoon eye drops and I knew grandma would get agitated over the mess if left alone with it. So I told them all to go before the open house was over and I'd trust their opinions/takes on it while I'd finish cleaning up and then get grandma's legs/eyes taken care of before leaving. And then I talked to her a bit about the pros of moving into assisted living (in grandma's opinion, the biggest pro is the chance to meet a man her age, lol) and about how much better having everyone at the discussions worked to ease the sibling squabbling.  

So everyone is for now on the same page as far as reasonable timelines, continuing care needs and divvying up of tasks/appointments, and the end goal of getting her moved out and her condo sold with her settled in this fall before it gets too cold.  And by the end, I'd made sure that everyone felt they could contribute and were included and even the most defensive uncomfortable upon arrival were laughing and joking and relaxing remembering what's good about all the family getting together not at war with each other. Which I considered a win.

It sounds like the place they were going to go see (Cardinal View) took the opportunity of covid to install individual HVAC units in each apartment rather than shared air systems, will have mandatory employee vaccinations by fall, allows for guests to show up without appointments, and will progress her assistance as needed.  And when my parents went to the open house the first time they met a very nice garrulous man who's my grandma's type who already has an apartment and just wanted to come to the open house because he's so excited about moving in mid-September. 

I did agree that to help with grandma's concerns about having a hard time finding/remembering everything from the appointments, the paucity of doctor's notes in her charts, and making sure everyone has the same information that as long as I had grandma's approval I'd take my own notes at appointments (unless explicitly asked by grandma to keep things private with her doctor, to protect her patient rights) and find a secure place/way to put them online where everyone present could access them.  I haven't figured out where/how that will be, but I know "not facebook" as one of my uncles refuses to use it and "not google one drive" as my parents have security concerns about sharing there so I haven't yet figured it out... But I will. It just means I'll have to take notes of important/pertinent information at the appointments and then do a summary write up, more detailed write up, and then the doctor's write up/recommendations once available.  I think the goal is to have ir be private wiht login access, separate entries like a database (sortable by date and/or type of appointment would be convenient, but if only chronological I can make it work) with a list/summary calendar main view and click on it for further information. And it needs to be free or pretty much free because my aunt is...very pecuniary...about grandma's finances. Penny wise pound foolish, always haggling best deal even against family members -- but she tries to be fair as she can be and she's got weird money karma so being aware of that and keeping things above board everyone understands at the outset is the best way to deal with her. And I understand there's limits to retirement funds and what medicare covers etc so keeping her within a reasonable budget matters.  So I'll figure that out this coming week,  before the early July appointments.

But not tonight. Now I'm gonna go home and put on some piano music (I haven't figure out who/what yet -- but Billy Joel was on for the dog when i got back to pick her up and piano is comforting for me and my dog and my cat) and make some tea and spend some time with my fur babies and relax. Maybe I'll tidy up some things driving my OCD nuts, or maybe I'll just read and relax and deal with laundry and tidying things during the week. On verra.  Depending on the rains I'll take the dog for a walk eventually, but that depends.  And I'm thinking open that bottle of chilled French rosé tonight and make an awesome salad and cook up a salmon filet to go with the salad. I'll save the nice whiskey for some point in the future. It only gets better aging away in the liquor cabinet as long as it doesn't oxidize for TOO long, lol. 

So those are my plans for the rest of the evening: piano music with the door/windows open to rain falling and tea and reading and fur baby snuggles and maybe taking the dog on a walk and then eventually a bottle of rosé with a salad and salmon filet. Just a nice calm caesura of comfort and tranquility and hominess and the things that bring my soul moments of peaceful joy.