I need to know that you will always be, The same old someone that I knew. Oh, but what will it take till you believe in me, The way that I believe in you? I said I love you, that's forever. And this I promise from the heart, mmm I couldn't love you any better. I love you just the way you are.

 O but I was just wallowing in being defeatist last night..... Definitely needed someone to bop me on the nose tell me,  "Bad Dani!  No!  No defeatism!" 

It's a new day and the sun is shining and the past is past and there's always magic in the present to change and shape the future into the one you choose!  So what if the past has its mistakes? We're here right now in the shifting changing moments in the crucible of choice - and we can always decide to choose different than what has come before.  That's the magic of being present right here in the now.   

I'm a firm believer in forgiving yourself and others for what you didn't know you didn't know, provided that once you know better you choose to do better.  

And today is a day that after talking to cheesemakers and bakers and plant whisperers and farmers of all types and buying veggies and cheeses and bread and heirloom tomato plants and pepper plants and a bouquet of peonies/sweet williams/yellow lupines, I managed to manifest Billy Joel onto the radio just by pouting that I really wanted to hear some Billy Joel. (even while knowing that was playing for my dog as babysitter while she waited at work for me to bring home the cheese and veggies and bread, so I'd get to hear plenty of Billy Joel after the drive.) Not by putting it on, simply by me wanting it desperately then finding it on the radio.  While wanting it so much,  I flipped through my programmed radio stations when the one I was on started playing some God-awful Taylor Swift song and hit commercial,  commercial, talking,  commercial, then BAM!  the opening bars of Just The Way You Are over on Magic 98!

So on a day when I can manifest me a Billy Joel song out of the millions of options across all the stations I trawl in precisely the moment I ask for one, just by me pouting and wanting to hear a Billy Joel song desperately enough,  then I'd be a damn fool to give up on believing that despite every past mistake and every present difficulty,  somehow in defiance of all rational logic there's a way in this Universe for what I want to be real and not just in the soul space and unrealized fantasies.  

So fuck that existentialist Steinbeckian "life's a bitch, face it and accept that your hopes don't fit into the world as it is" nihilistic realism! I want,  no I'm demanding, my Disney fairytale "life's an adventure of unraveling the complicated messes to persevere through to the part when you get to start writing your own version of happily ever after" magical realism! And I'm not accepting a damn thing less! 

I demand better of us! So he better damn well have something in his head to fix this and surprise me (I do love happy surprises more than I can words it - I've never met a precog or prophet who doesn't get giddy when happy surprises are pulled off) or I'll have to find a solution I've not yet thought up. Because I'm not going to let past mistakes or overthinking or stupid "be logical" fears write this life into another ships in the night tragedy of things unsaid, almost weres but never to be! Fuck that!  It's time we demand better of ourselves and I'm not here to settle for less this time.... 

And now that I've got that sorted, it's time for me to brew some coffee and cook up some asparagus with sunny side up eggs for brunch while singing myself Billy Joel songs dancing around the kitchen.