My sister's cat Bob died suddenly in his sleep tonight.  My nephew and niece are taking it really hard. 

I have an ever worsening migraine the last couple hours -- rapidly falling air pressure and very poor air quality alert. Both of which are environmental migraine triggers for me.  Synthetic perfumes (and thus many soaps,  detergents,  lotions, hair products,  etc) are among my instant migraine triggers - same with formaldehyde and tolulene and many glue/adhesive curing chemicals. Bit of a canary about such things,  tbh.   But I was in the middle of about half a dozen important conversations with people so i couldn't beg off.....  I just ate something other than caffeine and cookies and I'm hoping I don't throw it up. I'm now at the point that as soon as I stop dming with my sister, I'm giving up and heading home to bed. 

None of that is the big bad thing that's coming and I still don't know what it is. (It's also not the Tiger Woods accident tonight. It's far worse than that) 

I still have no idea what it is, the bad thing coming. And trying to use my gifts (even "gentle" ones like peeking forward) increases migraine pain can set me dry heaving. Overloading my gifts (including my empath gifts, like when I first arrive in big cities get overwhelmed by the noise of so many humans thinking/feeling so loudly) IS one of my migraine triggers, but that's not what this one is. I don't think. Unless what I have the horrible dread and presentiment of something absolutely horrific coming that I can't see is literally that intensely bad a powerfully psychic blow... But I'm hoping it's just the environmental triggers. (I did have an omelette earlier today for brunch around 11 or so, so it's not lack of protein or bad diet causing the migraine...even with the cookies and having coffee at brunch. Typically caffeine helps to reduce my headaches, even migraines, if it has any effect at all. 

I don't like not knowing what or when this horrific tragic thing is, just knowing something terrible is happening... It went away a bit last night and this morning -- mostly because Eric was absolutely FLOODING down the bond the intensity of his love from that place of releasing ego. Not sure how he found his way back to that place of love that transcends all ego and can always reach me, no matter the state of the bond or any blocks between us. But he did. And it helped keep the dread at bay.... The presentiment of the unknown evil actually faded out into the background from the force and intensity of his love pouring int. The love reaching me just an hour or two before the migraine started in tonight. Right now, the migraine is keeping anything else from reaching me but the pain in my head and trying to figure out how much longer I can endure it before I end up vomiting/dry heaving form the migraine pain.... 

I think I'm going to give up soon. even with my tight fitting Aran islands cable knit merino hat on (the pressure of a beanie actually often helps with my migraines -- if you ever see me with a hat on in the summer or laying very still and a pillow over my face to block out light, I have a migraine; luckily they're light and motion sensitive not sound sensitive so you can always talk or sing or play music or use a jack hammer outside my window and it's fine -- just don't ask me to sit up or walk or even roll over if I'm at the point I have a pillow over my eyes to block out light.  but sometimes, especially if I put a tight hat on in the first 6 hours, that increased pressure can help me to at least function til I can get home and force me to rest til the pain passes.) This particular  migraine is only getting worse and worse, not better at all....  Time to cross out my punching in since I got no work done due to everyone wanting my attention and then the migraine. And then go home, put some music on, block out all light, and hold as motionless as possible while my animals cuddle up on me and try to sleep or at least stop thinking meditate and get lost in the music (whatever music I choose to play to comfort me tonight -- probably piano because it's always been the most soothing. I haven't decided between Chopin or Debussy or George Winston or something with piano/instruments vocals that are a color that soothes me. None of that is the piano music I want to turn to while I'm hurting,  but what I want is denied to me by the choices made back in October 2018 and everything those choices Britt made and defensively has refused to acknowledge or right has set in motion. I'll probably choose Debussy - it's gentle pretty piano pieces, completely safe from emotionally complicated associations.  When I have a migraine, I have absolutely no ability to listen to anything even the slightest bit pitchy or country as the pain of the offkey notes on top of the migraine pain will set me to dry heaving as well as the involuntary nerve pain flinching that I ALWAYS experience from country twanging vocals....).