I'm concerned that Spock may be entering chronic kidney disease (it affects 81% of cats over 15, he is now over 15) which is eventually fatal, you can have months to years of life remaining after diagnosis, and there's not much you can do for it even after the blood test at the vet to confirm beyond change of diet to one easier for the kidneys and additional supplements for what their body easy not absorbing from the diet and phosphate binders if they have too much phosphorus remaining in their bloodstream. We talked about it in the fall at his last vet visit and he didn't have the blood screening markers at that time (we were more concerned he might be developing early glaucoma because he had uneven pupil dilation, but due to his loss of weight and him eating less after Audrey died, Erin and I discussed monitoring him for signs of kidney failure and discussed what my options look like when he develops it. (With cats over 15, it's really a matter of when not if, unless something else kills them first.)  He's been drinking a lot more water over this winter which is a coping mechanism of cats in early stages of kidney failure. He's been very snuggly, he's not hiding from me just the opposite he doesn't want me to leave or to be far from me, which means he isn't currently in pain. But today he started vomiting clear frothy bile and I haven't seen him eating much today and he hasn't pooped since Tuesday morning and he usually does once every day. I'm going to wait a little longer to reach out to Erin, mostly because I cant afford more vet bills right now especially since this is a property tax bills month (my county allows you to pay all at once or break it into four installments every other month across the start of the year) and I already expect the news I will get if I take him in to be tested and there's limits to how much the vet can help with older animals, and see if he does start eating and pooping again because it's not been very long and it's possible that the vomiting is just a hairball he hasn't got up yet. I'm also going to try giving both pets some wet food tonight because I have some cans that need to be eaten on the sooner side and that I was saving. It's possible that Spock is having tooth pain and not eating his kibble as a result and he's throwing up because he's hungry but can't chew the food he has right now. But most likely it's kidney disease, as vague as the symptoms are, he has them all like a checklist. (similar to me having everything as a checklist but the heart issues of hEDS without an official diagnosis but hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos makes a LOT more sense of my many never diagnosed no matter how many times I went in for it starting in elementary school of things varying from having 2/3 the cartilage I should in my joints, how easily my shoulders subluxate (including if I sleep on it wrong), how I can bend my fingers way backward at every joint but never get them to pop, my extreme double jointedness in my fingers/thumb/palm, how hypermobile I am in every joint but especially my arms/hands, my extremely translucent see through very stretchy skin that bruises easily, fainting for no reason (was literally diagnosed in high school after a very long New Year's Eve in the ER as a woman between 12 and 35 in perfect health who has fainting spells for no medically discernible reason), the migraines that come down the same sides of mum's family who have the hEDS issues, etc.etc. Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has only had a genetic test for a handful of years and isn't that well understood and I got tired of going in with clear issues being told there's nothing wrong with me according to their tests even when they can clearly see there's something wrong with whatever I went in for and once healthcare got so expensive with copays and moops and having to pay thousands out of pocket before things are even fully covered, I just decided "fuck it, I'll live with it, I don't need a proper diagnosis name for that much money" and there isn't anyhing DONE for an hEDS diagnosis other than techniques to mitigate the symptoms of it which I've already learned in my coping mechanisms with the migraines and fainting spells and the shoulder instability issues if I overstrain it like if told to push my hypermobile flexibility in dance or hot yoga with teachers who emphasize competitive increased flexibility rather than knowing how to deal with people who are seeking balanced stability in strength training for the hypermobile. I've had to learn how to tell an instructor no or leave them if they can't recognize the difference between hypermobile joints and muscular flexibility that can/should be pushed to develop further. Because they're not the same thing and you will seriously damage someone with hypermobile joints if you keep trying to push their hypermobile joints to the edge of popping them out of the sockets.)

Anyway. I'm very worried about my elderly cat, if you hadn't noticed. He's now the second oldest living house pet I know since Morgan died a week ago. The only cat/dog I know who is older than him is Mia, the 16 year old cat of one of my friends who used to live in Detroit area now lives in Gettysburg (one sister moved to Hawaii and the other moved to Gettysburg a year or two ago when their da needed to sell the house they were living in to help pay for their mum's medical bills; so I no longer have friends to stay with and visit in the Detroit area.)  But Mia is on meds for some serious conditions and has had some major kidney failure related scares over the last year. Most of the cats we've ever had, 21.5 and then 17-18 is the oldest they've lived and I tend to figure that with any pet, as hard as it is to face every year past a decade with them are bonus years. But anyway, I'm worrying about how much longer my sweet Spocky boy has... But just as Audrey was the oldest pet I knew for the last year or so of her life, Spock is now at the point that he is pretty near the oldest pet I know. He doesn't want as elaborate a burial as Audrey, he just wants to be buried with her. And when mum asked me last night at the wine bar, "practically speaking, when can we move the stumps off Audrey's grave?" I told her straight up and in the witchiest possible tone of voice and all the lights flicker in the building, "We can move the stumps when it's time to bury Spock with Audrey." and she was just mildly stunned finally said, "Wow. That was a lot darker answer than I expected. I just meant that the ash stumps aren't the most aesthetic there." The table next to us left almost immediately after that. They had finished their wine and were maybe just ready to leave generally, but oops. 

At least my hair has grown out enough since last year that I can cut off a braid to bury with Spock as well like I did with his canine sister. Though I'd rather have longer with him, but we shall see. He's just been feeling very frail over the last couple month or so.

If it comes to it, I don't know how long before I would get another cat once Spock passes. As you may have noticed, other than Audrey Pupburn my Pisces pup who visited me in dreams told me to start looking for her to be born before she was born and told me exactly what she'd look like and when/where to find her, most of my pets are ones who find me and need a home. Even Spock was an animal in need of rehoming from the roommate of an acquaintance friend because Colby (the other kitten she owned) started attacking Spock for no reason at all.

Also, I've continued to have vivid dreams/nightmares that are all lucid dreams in the modern world rather than shamanic dream space spirit realm walking dreams all week with all these x flares all week (I think something like 13 x flares this week) and going from fine to suddenly dizzy/lightheaded if I try to stand up and that ALWAYS lines up when I check the space weather sites for when the x flares reach earth -- it's made sleeping more exhausting than restful even though sleeping more than my usual this week.  Which hasn't helped me from being in my head and pouring too much of my healing energy into my cat and worrying about my piano loving book guarding Taurus kitty who is feeling very frail lately. Unless all that healing energy I poured into him can get a drastic turn around in the next 24-48 hours, if you want to play piano for him, you may be running out of time. On verra. Maybe he's just feeling the x flares as well -- cats are known for their sensitivity to energy shifts. But also, it's been a while since me petting him has static charged him.

I'm at work tonight to make sure I water the melodramatic plants and get all my hours in for the week but I'm not planning to stay super late. And then tomorrow night I'm headed downtown to see a Beatles cover band thing with my parents at Overture Hall that my mum decided to pickup tickets to. And I should have more than enough hours to not have to come in for long on Friday (other than coming in right after work closes since Crissy is stopping by after work to see the doggos and for me to give her some more of my magical histamine/bronchial inflammation relief tea. And it is a blend of my own making and it is VERY magical and it works when nothing else will for people -- I developed it after I noticed how many people were having mast cell dysregulation and excess histamine building up in their body after they were "recovered" from covid. The main thing to know is you can't take it as PREVENTATIVE because it isn't a histamine BLOCKER like antihistamine drugs that bind to histamine receptors to give you relief, it's using plants with enzymes that destroy excess histamine in your body when your own body is producing excess histamine OR failing to produce sufficient enzymes in your mast cells to break down your natural levels of histamine so it's building up in your system. Thus you can't take it proactively against allergy season, you take it when you recognize the symptoms of excess histamine in your body causing inflammation and you want to reduce the histamine in your system. That was my goal in making it -- because it doesn't do you much long-term good other than to keep you dependent on the drugs to function when you  block the receptors if the histamine is still bouncing about your body because your body can't break it down as fast as it's accumulating in your body. Anyway, it's a magical blend and even people who don't like hot drinks will make this tea when they have a stubborn cough or suddenly having too much histamine all the time or allergic reactions to things they never were allergic to before. I'm actually really happy when I get to come up with tea blends that help people with their issues -- even Mikaela has commented on it. I would be perfectly happy having a cottage in the woods with a big herb garden and mixing up tea blends and distilling botanical gins and whiskey (mostly because I like to drink whiskey) to pay the bills. I've considered selling my tea blends, but because I don't grow my own herbs at this time as I can only grow plants in containers or out in the flower bed, there's questions of certifying and where I make my tea for sale instead of just for friends/family and also I'm not sure there's that much profit margin in selling my tea blends once I've created them right now. Anyway, my magical blue histamine relief tea I make in two forms, my original recipe and then a second one I developed for my maman with linden flowers as an expectorant for when the lungs need to be cleared. I'm not sure how to EXPLAIN my process for it other than I need people to talk to me about what their problem is they need a tea for and I need to meditate on it and ask questions about when/how it started to get to the root causes not just the symptoms and then develop the herbal blend from my knowledge of biochemistry and medicinal plants (both of which are things I read for fun.)  My magical histamine relief tea is also just tasty in its own right, but my mum, Crissy, and Mikaela use it very frequently. It's also a very pretty color.)  I am planning to come in get a lot of plant work done over the weekend while it's beautiful outside including moving plants from inside to outside, but obviously if Spock continues to not be doing well over the next couple days, I will choose to spend time with him and some of the plants and garden work can wait a little longer. The weeds won't mind if I give them some extra days while I spend time with my old cat.

I'm gonna go water those plants that need it or they will get melodramatic drop leaves and then finish the inputting of what I scanned in earlier before checking my hours deciding how many more to put in tonight versus if I need to do any on Friday (when I need to come in anyway in the evening.)  I do hope it's not kidney failure with Spocky, but my gut instinct tells me it is and that he's closer to his finite time being up than I would like him to be. He is already over 15 after all... On verra. Maybe I'm borrowing trouble overthinking and watching closely for the signs because I know to be watching for him given his age so any little blip in his water/food habits seems like a bigger deal to me than if I weren't watching him so closely.

P.S. Ahh yes, just saw the news: a head of state in a small not well known nation in Europe is (attempted) assassination when tensions are high and there's already war by proxy between the allied forces and the aggrandizing despot(s) -- who has ever seen that script before in world geopolitics?..... *eyeroll*