~Mom had them come in to (re) steam clean the carpets at MCW as they did not do a good enough job before.  I like that they also have a found turkey feather on the dash of their van, but last time it took 8.5 days of airing out til the fumes stopped giving me instant migraines and pre-syncope "everything fades to black" dizziness spells...  Soooo I may not be able to get all my hours in this week or even next because she didn't tell me until today.  I also needed to water all my indoor plants tonight,  but clearly that didn't happen either....  I warned her that because of her choice in timing to schedule it,  I may not even be able to get to the end of month deposit til next weekend based on my past reaction to the chemicals of this cleaning service.  On verra. But tonight I came home just as they were starting and exposure to the chemicals caused me to pass out go to be at like 6pm without dinner (woke up for sunset then went back to sleep) so here I am wide awake again during the witching hour. Gonna make some tea then light some candles to keep me and my fur baby familiars company while I read til breakfast o'clock. 

~my Uncle Steve has not responded in any way to me (or anyone else) thus far.  My mum is now joking about how when you need to tell someone something difficult to swallow hard truths the best way to say it is to "say it with eggplant."  I also saw this meme on a snarky witchy facebook group today: 

it made me laugh so hard! but when I double checked with Crissy,  she said that hilarious as it is it was far too soon to share to facebook given I'm fb friends with so many family members who would take it personally. She's right,  which is why I asked her instead of just sharing it.  But it is objectively funny because it's true for a "kill them with kindness" Libra sun/Mercury with a Cap moon like me.  😂 

~I'm actually really happy about Randall Cobb coming home.  I never liked the timing or way he was released (very few Sconnies approved of it) and I think he'll be a brilliant mentor relation with Amari Rodgers even if Cobb gets injured can't play many games.  Also, Packers have a tradition of letting beloved players who did well by us for long years come home to retire a Packer.  Which is important and however many seasons Cobb has, I do hope he gets to retire on the Pack.  💚💛 I've heard bringing Cobb back was a part of Aaron Rodger's most recent diva fits and Adams agreeing to sit out talks if this fell through clinched it. while it doesn't make the way that was handled okay,  if its true then A-Rod regains some of my respect he lost this off-season.  I'm also pretty fucking excited David Bakhtiari's younger brother is announced as signed - they'll be trouble teaming up together,  but good trouble on the field. And at Bucks games chugging beers with papa bear Bakhti 😂

~it was decided that since APT opened up 4 packs for Rough Crossing for Aug 4 (a Weds)  with available seats still and weeknight tickets are cheaper than weekend evenings and Sarah (w Mikaela)  is headed north to a time share to visit her mom on Sat morning,  the 8 of us are going on the 4th instead.  (Denis is coming along to use the 8th ticket.) So next Weds,  not next Fri, is when I'm headed back for another play in the woods! 

~I keep getting random intense waves of longing and deep sorrow down the bond from Eric.... They just hit me suddenly out of nowhere,  especially at night. Which I'll admit doesn't make much sense to me as his band has upcoming shows for the ego boost addictive high of the mindless worship from fans of performing onstage again and logic says he should be busy with rehearsal for the last day or so after so long not touring.... So he should be self distracted from over-thinking/over-feeling and objectively doing well emotionally since he's anticipating being able to get his chosen form of dopamine high doing the things he's chosen to build this life around as his foundational center.  And yet, still there's those intense waves of sorrow and longing down the bond.   And then when I hear/feel that from him, all I want to do is hug him and reassure him that it'll all come out right in the end for him to have whatever he chooses for his own happiness this life - that it's only so fucked up because we're in the middle not the end - and I have faith in that optimism because I have faith in the part of him that never gives up on anything he sets his heart on,  not even when it means starting over, going back to the drawing board, and trying again a different way.  I might be of more help if I knew exactly what he's set his heart on for this life of his, but I've never once in all these lifetimes doubted him once he knows his own mind.  Why would I?  He's given me every reason,  across multiple millennia of lifetimes, to know that when he makes up his mind sets his heart on something there is no power on heaven or earth or anywhere in between that can stop him from eventually getting his desires.  Still.  I suppose that even if he had as much faith in himself as I have in him to achieve anything he sets himself to strive for, that faith doesn't stop the longing and the sorrow from hurting inside him in the time before he gets from where he is to where he wants to be... 

I can't do anything about that for him other than believe in him and trust that if he's clear with himself about his desires that he'll get there by whatever path he can - it's his life to live and thus his free will choices to steer his ship after all.  Still,  when I know he's hurting like that full of longing and sorrow, my every instinct is to comfort him and surround his soul with my love even if I can't physically wrap my arms around him in this moment and ask him what needs to be done to heal this hurt in him. Because even if I can't do it for him or in some lives be of any help due to distance/circumstances/other peoples choices, still by asking him from a place in me non-judgemental undemanding love what he needs to do to heal the hurting in him,  it's helped him see his way before. And sometimes,  that's all a girl can do....  

Now for me and my own current life choices, I'm gonna make myself that cuppa tea and read a novel before making breakfast and getting ready then heading to grandma's in 5 hours to help her get ready for her morning MRI and afternoon glaucoma appointment. And then we'll see after that if I can get any hours in at work tomorrow night with the petro chemical fumes from the carpet drying at work...