I realized that given the last couple posts, this was a weird seeming time to set this to private. I did it because I mentioned my parents are out of town and thus I'm stretched between work and living in two homes. Which is a security no no -- even on an unlisted blog. I'll probably set it back to private later tonight again -- but felt I should acknowledge that it had nothing to do with anything in the posts, just me over-thinking what I said and not wanting to go back through the posts to find it.

Mostly right now, I'm either at work or at home with my cat (whose patience/affection with my absences all weekend except for short visits I'm buying off with Greenies) or at my parents house reading Burroughs novels from my da's collection. 

Wednesday, it turns out that the play is at 7:30, not 6, Crissy actually told me the time for the Sunday shows not the midweek shows. So I guess I could have taken grandma to her first 90mins lymphodema massage but I'll be a better human for the play by doing it on separate weeks and it wasn't a problem to move it. However, if it doesn't start til 7:30 and it's 1hr 45mins long, then it won't end til 9:15 and the soonest I'll get home to the dogs is 10ish.... And while they can be alone for the 5.5 hours that means, they might be happier to not be alone and I definitely shouldn't feed them dinner before I head to the play in case Sophie poops inside.... But I can't force Sarah to take the dogs that night if she doesn't want to, so I'll double check with her but probably I'll just leave the dogs by themselves and then hurry back to them after the play.  

I should also give warning that I'll probably just do my best to block out the bond that night so he can't reach me at all so that any bitterness from him poisoning down it by his Weds night choices from 8pm til 9pm (ish) won't affect my enjoyment of the play or affect my facial expressions during the show. If he doesn't get it, well, it's his choices that have forced me to this point, not mine. And I'd rather block him out than make others pay for it, especially during a performance where my face is visible because the theatre is rather small. So while I don't know when I'll do that, you should really expect it for Wednesday night (and every Wednesday night while he's intentionally acting in ways he knows (and I know he knows since I explicitly told him and he never responded) such as going live solely on the band's Instagram account where fans are STILL blocked over having been honest they didn't like the country music decision and thus are problematic pour poison down the bond as a betrayal of everything he claims he and the band have ever stood for. 

 But that isn't all that important nor am I long-term self--sabotaging. I'm simply not allowing his choice of betrayal rather than facing the wrong done in his name and the name of the entire band to cause harm to others. And that will require that on Weds, I will block him out as completely as possible while I'm at the play. I won't make other people pay for his bad choices or the consequences of them.

So if this goes back to private and you can't reach me on the bond, don't freak out -- those are the reasons.