GAH!!!!!

my grandmother called and cancelled her doctor's appointment scheduled for noon because she's chilled again this morning then called me to tell me not to bother coming to get her since she cancelled it and couldn't schedule it again til she got her computer back with her calendar that Jeff took to upgrade to fix.  (Jeff didn't take it.  My dad,  Brian, took it...... Jeff is a carpenter retired construction worker, does all her household repairs.  The family computer business was my grandparents,  parents,  Uncle Steve and Aunt Sondra til grandpa died then later Steve & Sondra decided to leabe (during the lean mail order "dude you're getting a Dell" days) then grabdma retired.  So now only my parents own it,  though Uncle Steve came back to work in service as a tech about 8 years ago.  So literally,  of her 3 sons,  Jeff makes the LEAST sense for her to have said before I corrected her....)  Clearly she's having a bad day didn't want to go in so making excuses  - but wtf am I supposed to do? Take away her phone?!?! That's how she contacts everyone....

Also,  she called me at 9:40 for her noon appointment when I was in process of making coffee to leave so I could drop my dog off with my parents at work then be at her place. I turned the kettle off at the end of her call while processing my emotions and options - but still have fresh grounds sitting in my French press waiting for me to finish making the damn coffee....

So I called GHC and grandma's appointment time had already been given to someone on call waiting for an appointment. And then I called my mom to tell her that and not to expect the dog or me unless she thought I should still go over to grandma's now the appointment got cancelled and she asked,  "What can you do going over there now?!"

Then I went back to my bed,  lifted the dog up (it's too high for her to jump up on her own now with her arthritis), flopped onto my tummy, then buried my face screamed into my pillows my frustration. After I rolled over, my dog came to lay across my chest/shpulders lick my face and my cat curled up across my hips/thighs.

And honestly,  between a 32lb dog and an 18lb cat,  who needs to spend money on a weighted blanlet??

Before that though,  Alana texted me that she'd stuffed my Jack Skellington and Sally Build-a-bears and the surprise extra outfits she'd ordered came in (that was the delay,  waiting on the surprise Santa suit for him) so I'm still excited abput that!!!

Also,  right after that,  Dave posted a video they recorded during soundcheck at one of their Japan gigs to the band's facebook page. It's an acoustic cover of Rainbow,  just randomly in the middle pf the auditorium - and based on where they tagged it,  it was recorded later on the day that I'd thanked Enda in a dm for making me smile because I had a lot of family stuff going on then he went out of his way finding me things to make me laugh before saying they had to go for soundcheck. And it was beautiful, exactly what I needed.  (even though I loathe Kacey Musgraves because her voice is painfully bad,  their cover was not bad country vocals sounded gorgeous and just what I needed.) Also,  he didn't know how my morning (or yesterday morning) has been going but knows I've been weighed down by family stuff,  no details but I did tell him 4 subplots of it simultaneous right now and he knows my grandma is the one I'm working on because the only one I can.  And his post was super sweet with private joks in it. and the song a perfect choice. And I'm so excited I'll get to see all 4 of them (and Frank,  their sound guy and tour dad) in under a month now!!!

(also, as an honest sidenote,  I'd much rather be a sunflower than a potato. Who wants to be a potato anyway?!  And the whole potato diehard thing is stupid,  imho. But Sunflower is one of their songs and not just a stupid random typo. I like that Dave's taken to signing his band posts,  "Shine on!  🌻 " when he writes them which refers to two different We Banjo 3 songs, Shine On and Sunflower.  But also,  they're songs about me that he made that known even while dating Di,  soo there's that.)

Dave's doing well this morning is what I'm saying. He's still saying/doing all the right things and being super sweet,  with the rest of his band/brothers right there with him. (and I'm an idiot if I allow my complicated emotional tangle around Eric stop me from giving David a chance.... Especially after how Eric's sister has treated me for 13.5 nearly 14 months and me still being blocked on their band instagram account (and her personal one)  for my honesty that the country music was painful enough to stop me attending shows in the future and Eric's STILL engaging in the bullying of sharing stories I can't see, including just now. And nothing being done to even acknowledge that's still going on from him or any of them in the babd who can actually do a damn thing about it.  And honestly, it just reflects badly on the band at this point,  makes me have zero desire to support them moving forward with how they have handled their band instagram account....and it's absolutely about that choice and the system of ostracism it created.  I'm an idiot if I don't choose to let Eric go based on the choices he and his sister in the name of the band have made up to this point and cI don't ommit go all in with Dave if he ever gets up the courage to ask me - aren't I? To anyone outside me, without the weight of the past to consider, the choice here is obvious.... And not in Eric's favor....)